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Nov. 19, 2009
Jonathan Tobin: ADL Crosses the Line with Report Bashing Obama Critics
Nov. 18, 2009
JWisdom.com: The (Jewish) Dating Game
with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
Nov. 17, 2009
Steven Emerson: How Does the 4th Amendment Impact Terror Finance Investigations?
JWisdom.com: If Frank Sinatra married Edith Piaf
with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein (2 minutes) Life lessons from what would be regarded as the most inappropriate lyrics ever sung
Nov. 16, 2009
JWisdom.com: Deconstructing faith
with Rabbi Warren Goldstein (9 minutes)
Nov. 13, 2009
JWisdom.com Sarah's subjective reality
with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 6 minutes)
Nov. 12, 2009
JWisdom.com Does God get tired?
with Rabbi Harvey Belovski ( 5 minutes)
Nov. 11, 2009
JWisdom.com Marriages are not made in Heaven
with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (VERY fast 15 minutes)
Nov. 10, 2009
Michael Doyle: Author of book exposing CAIR ordered to remove supporting documents from Web
JWisdom.com If the creation so loudly shouts the existence of the Creator, why aren't more people believers? with Rabbi Naftali Brawer (9 minutes)
Nov. 9, 2009
Mark Steyn: Shooter exposes hole
in U.S. terror strategy
JWisdom.com It's never too late to
have a happy childhood with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Nov. 6, 2009
JWisdom.com Zero to 1/60th: How
to Empower An Hour with Gavriel Aryeh Sande (7 minutes)
Nov. 5, 2009
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking
Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker
With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater?
With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change
With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
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Jewish World Review
The good, the ad and the ugly
By
Jim Mullen
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
"Do you have NOPQ? If so, ask your doctor about Nopquease." I can't tell you how many times I've watched commercials for medicine on TV without ever figuring out what malady the medicine is supposed to cure.
"Do you have shortness of breath? Loss of ear hair? Painful fingernails? Does your coffee smell like tea? You may be suffering from NOPQ. Ask your doctor about Nopquease, the only FDA-approved antidote for EFGHI, the medicine we were pushing last year.
"Nopquease may cause lower back pain, explosive diarrhea, foot spasms, bleeding eyeballs, agoraphobia, spontaneous conception and abnormal eyebrow growth." There should be a law that the advertiser has to at least tell us what NOPQ stands for at some point in the ad.
If they make drug companies put product warnings at the end of their ads, why don't they make every company put a warning after their ad?
Can you imagine if they did car commercials the way they do drug commercials? "Test-drive the new Executive BS. It makes whatever you're driving now seem like an ox cart. Especially if you're driving last year's Executive. Beat the recall, buy one today! Warning, cars may cause death, injury, increased debt, air pollution, increased insurance premiums, unplanned pregnancy, road rage and burns to the backs of the thighs in sunny weather. Ask your doctor if you're healthy enough to drive a car. If you drive in the right lane with your left turn signal on for more than four hours, you should call your DMV and tell them to come get your license."
"Serve deep-fat fried crispy Toasted Chocolate Cheese Pig Skins at your next party. Even if it's a party of one. Eating Toasted Chocolate Cheese Pig Skins may cause high blood pressure, blotchy skin, obesity, lower back pain, adult onset diabetes, loss of the will to live, clogged arteries, cancer, early death, consumption, dropsy, heartburn, loss of affection and sexual dysfunction. Should you eat four bags at one sitting, notify your doctor."
Really, should you be eating anything that has an expiration date more than a decade away? If nature can't break it down, can your stomach?
"Blue Swill, the one beer to have when you're downing the whole case. May cause inappropriate behavior, unintentional pregnancy, loss of job, loss of family, loss of life, low birth weight, alcoholism, alcohol poisoning, vomiting, disorderly conduct and accidental marriage. If you drink more than four six-packs a day, call your mortician and a divorce lawyer."
"Vote Honnicutt for Congress. This is Erskine Honnicutt and I approve this ad. If Honnicutt is elected to Congress, your district may suffer increased taxes, endure several endless sex scandals on television, loss of pork, a federal trial for nepotism and a deep and abiding sense of shame. Should Honnicutt go to federal prison for four years, don't call me. You voted for him."
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Comment by clicking here.
Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."
Previously:
The desert of the real
Let books be large and in charge
I was insulting people way before the Internet
GPS drill sergeant: Left, right, left!
Butterfly in the sky, you make winds go twice as high
Music to my ears it's not
You don't light up my life
Fair or not: Country living is far from ‘Little House’
A parable for the ‘ages’
Top 100 Cable news stories of the century
Green dumb
A developing story
Thinking outside the lunch box
What's good for the goose is good for the scanner
Newspapers will survive, but network TV?
A really big show of generation gaps
When pigs flu
The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated
Mergers and admonitions
Invest in gold: little, yellow, different
Stuck in Folsom Penthouse
Collecting karma
Setting loose the creative ‘juice’
It's all in the numbers
You're damaging your brain with practical skills
The real rat pack
The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic
Gross-ery shopping
© 2009, NEA
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