
 |
|
May 24, 2013
May 22, 2013
John Thorne:
They launched the 'Arab Spring' but now yearn for the good old days of a strongman
May 20, 2013
Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man?
Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star
The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting
May 13, 2013
Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Why the giving of the document that would permanently change the world could only be done in desolation
David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church
May 10, 2013
Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be
May 8, 2013
Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas
Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate
Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility
May 6, 2013
May 3, 2013
Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine
April 29, 2013
Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust
Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?
Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA
April 26, 2013
Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty
April 24, 2013
|
| |
Jewish World Review
The good, the ad and the ugly
By
Jim Mullen
| 
|
|
|
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
"Do you have NOPQ? If so, ask your doctor about Nopquease." I can't tell you how many times I've watched commercials for medicine on TV without ever figuring out what malady the medicine is supposed to cure.
"Do you have shortness of breath? Loss of ear hair? Painful fingernails? Does your coffee smell like tea? You may be suffering from NOPQ. Ask your doctor about Nopquease, the only FDA-approved antidote for EFGHI, the medicine we were pushing last year.
"Nopquease may cause lower back pain, explosive diarrhea, foot spasms, bleeding eyeballs, agoraphobia, spontaneous conception and abnormal eyebrow growth." There should be a law that the advertiser has to at least tell us what NOPQ stands for at some point in the ad.
If they make drug companies put product warnings at the end of their ads, why don't they make every company put a warning after their ad?
Can you imagine if they did car commercials the way they do drug commercials? "Test-drive the new Executive BS. It makes whatever you're driving now seem like an ox cart. Especially if you're driving last year's Executive. Beat the recall, buy one today! Warning, cars may cause death, injury, increased debt, air pollution, increased insurance premiums, unplanned pregnancy, road rage and burns to the backs of the thighs in sunny weather. Ask your doctor if you're healthy enough to drive a car. If you drive in the right lane with your left turn signal on for more than four hours, you should call your DMV and tell them to come get your license."
"Serve deep-fat fried crispy Toasted Chocolate Cheese Pig Skins at your next party. Even if it's a party of one. Eating Toasted Chocolate Cheese Pig Skins may cause high blood pressure, blotchy skin, obesity, lower back pain, adult onset diabetes, loss of the will to live, clogged arteries, cancer, early death, consumption, dropsy, heartburn, loss of affection and sexual dysfunction. Should you eat four bags at one sitting, notify your doctor."
Really, should you be eating anything that has an expiration date more than a decade away? If nature can't break it down, can your stomach?
"Blue Swill, the one beer to have when you're downing the whole case. May cause inappropriate behavior, unintentional pregnancy, loss of job, loss of family, loss of life, low birth weight, alcoholism, alcohol poisoning, vomiting, disorderly conduct and accidental marriage. If you drink more than four six-packs a day, call your mortician and a divorce lawyer."
"Vote Honnicutt for Congress. This is Erskine Honnicutt and I approve this ad. If Honnicutt is elected to Congress, your district may suffer increased taxes, endure several endless sex scandals on television, loss of pork, a federal trial for nepotism and a deep and abiding sense of shame. Should Honnicutt go to federal prison for four years, don't call me. You voted for him."
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
Comment by clicking here.
Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."
Previously:
The desert of the real
Let books be large and in charge
I was insulting people way before the Internet
GPS drill sergeant: Left, right, left!
Butterfly in the sky, you make winds go twice as high
Music to my ears it's not
You don't light up my life
Fair or not: Country living is far from Little House
A parable for the ages
Top 100 Cable news stories of the century
Green dumb
A developing story
Thinking outside the lunch box
What's good for the goose is good for the scanner
Newspapers will survive, but network TV?
A really big show of generation gaps
When pigs flu
The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated
Mergers and admonitions
Invest in gold: little, yellow, different
Stuck in Folsom Penthouse
Collecting karma
Setting loose the creative juice
It's all in the numbers
You're damaging your brain with practical skills
The real rat pack
The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic
Gross-ery shopping
© 2009, NEA
|
|

Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Jay Ambrose
Michael Barone
Barrywood
Lori Borgman
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Richard Z. Chesnoff
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
Christine Flowers
Frank J. Gaffney
Bernie Goldberg
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Argus Hamilton
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Ron Hart
Nat Hentoff
A. Barton Hinkle
Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ch. Krauthammer
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Ann McFeatters
Dale McFeatters
Dana Milbank
Jeanne Moos
Dick Morris
Jim Mullen
Deroy Murdock
Judge A. Napolitano
Bill O'Reilly
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Star Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Sharon Randall
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Heather Robinson
Debra J. Saunders
Martin Schram
Greg Schwem
Culture Shlock
David Shribman
Roger Simon
Lenore Skenazy
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Ben Stein
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Dan Thomasson
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
ZeitGeist
Mort Zuckerman

Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Lisa Benson
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
John Branch
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
Matt Davies
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Glenn Foden
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Walt Handelsman
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holbert
David Horsey
Lee Judge
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Jimmy Margulies
Jack Ohman
Michael Ramirez
Rob Rogers
Drew Sheneman
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Scott Stantis
Danna Summers
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters
Dan Wasserman

Tech Q&A
Mr. Know-It-All
Ask Doctor K
Richard Lederer
Frugal Living
On Nutrition
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
|