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April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Oct. 26, 2009 / 8 Mar-Cheshvan 5770

Rapidly approaching fuddyduddy-hood

By Malcolm Fleschner


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | One clear sign that you're getting older is if you would rather watch a movie on TV that you've seen a dozen times before than take a chance on some recent film you've never seen.


"Let's see what's on… hmm, 'Revolutionary Road,' that's supposed to be pretty good… what else… 'Atonement,' haven't seen that one, maybe I'll watch a little bit of- ooh, hold the phones! We have a winner - 'Weekend At Bernie's' is on!"


Another common sign that the years are creeping up on you is if you no longer share in the excitement over the latest high tech gizmo or internet marvel to come along. For me, there's no most glaring example of my rapidly approaching fuddyduddy-hood than my skepticism about Twitter.


If you're unfamiliar with Twitter, it's a wildly popular social networking platform that has probably already passed you by, so I won't bother trying to explain it. Because realistically, at this point either you're already on the Twitter bandwagon, eagerly 'tweeting" out a steady stream of inspiration, 140 characters at a time, or you've decided to sit this fad out, perhaps while on your sofa watching "Weekend at Bernie's" (again).


Mind you, I'm not one of those curmudgeons who doggedly clings only to traditional, long-standing means of communication that have proven their worth over the generations, like email. I love Facebook, for example, without which I would never have reconnected with dozens of high school friends and been regularly informed whenever they are getting out of bed, arriving at work, at work, going to lunch, eating lunch, getting ready to leave work, actually leaving work, relaxing at home, getting ready for bed or getting into bed, and have thoughtfully taken a moment away from these critical activities to share the information with their Facebook friends.


Another plus that Facebook offers users is a range of quality time-wasting applications, like the quizzes that determine which intestinal parasite, brand of toilet bowl cleanser or secondary TV sitcom character you most resemble ("Potsie? No way - I'm so much more of a Schneider. This thing is way off").


Compared to Facebook, Twitter does offer the advantage of simplicity. According to the company, each short message users post is supposed to answer the question, "What are you doing?" Unfortunately, more often than not, the answer to that question appears to be, "Not much." One study of the site's content divided all Twitter messages into six categories, and determined that the largest segment of Tweets (40 percent) consisted of "pointless babble." Which no doubt explains Twitter's popularity among Congressional representatives.


I think this also helps explain my reluctance to embrace Twitter. I just can't believe that a bunch of people who don't even know me would care to receive regular updates on my activities. I have a difficult enough time just getting my wife and children to listen when I tell them what I'm up to, even when it's something really important like making a blockbuster trade for Peyton Manning on my fantasy football team.


Speaking of which, athletes and other celebrity users have helped drive much of Twitter's growth. Because if there's one thing our society desperately needs, it's more information about the lives of famous people. But who wouldn't want to receive regular messages from the likes of Shaquille O'Neal (2.4 million followers), when he's broadcasting such must-be-expressed thoughts as "let's go Steelers let's go," (October 4th) "what shud i be for halloween?" (September 30th) and, of course, the inspired if cryptic "Booyaaaaa" (September 19th).


Some cynics might detect an undertone of jealousy behind all my Twitter naysaying. And sure, I admit it might be nice to have millions of followers hanging on my every, um, tweet. But what ever happened to quality over quantity? I'm proud of the nearly two dozen folks who've signed up to receive the incredibly witty asides I occasionally post to www.twitter.com/cultureshlock, even if half of them are young women I've never met who are only "following" me to promote their personal webcams. Let no one say that I'm the type of small-minded person who will refuse to join in a social networking relationship with someone just because she happens to be a nubile college coed who enjoys parading around in her underwear.


So perhaps, in an effort to stay "with it," I'll keep at this Twitter thing. That and stop using expressions like "with it." After all, as my readers frequently point out, I do have a tremendous capacity for producing "pointless blather." And who knows, with patience, I might tap into enough self-absorption to believe that people want to hear about the mundane details of my life. Like that right now I'm turning on the TV to watch - you guessed it - "Weekend At Bernie's II!"

JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.


Previously:

06/20/09: Waging a backyard turf war
02/20/09: The Sties Have It
04/30/09: Planning of the Apes
04/08/09: No more phoning it in
02/26/09: Tuning in to the English Channel
02/19/09: 25 AND COUNTING
02/13/09: A new life, dead ahead
01/29/09: NOW STARRING ... EVERYBODY!
01/15/09: You know the type
01/08/09: Just in time, here comes 2009
11/20/08: Hotels go for the green
11/06/08: Something does not compute
10/30/08: Early adopters tech their chances
10/21/08: Cyberspace invaders
10/21/08: Keeping up disappearances
09/17/08: Victims of math hysteria
08/07/08: My newfound sense of self (promotion)
06/24/08: Getting the brand back together
05/29/08: Phrased and confused
05/13/08: Take this job and love it
04/17/08: News you can (re)use
04/02/08: Commercial (over)load
02/20/08: An overdose of reality
02/14/08: A developing situation
01/30/08: I can tech it or leave it
01/02/08: Confessions of a coke addict
01/02/08: Our bills are due
12/13/07: Going (to lunch) once, going twice…
11/28/07: Out with the old
11/06/07: My latest pet project
11/06/07: Can't tune it out
10/23/07: Something special in the hair
09/12/07: Can I have your attention, please?
09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem
08/21/07: In the heat of fashion
08/09/07: Let's get in the game
06/13/07: You gonna eat that?
05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment
05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy...
04/18/07: No time like Father Time
03/15/07: Deface the Nation
03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have
02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore
12/05/06: Who's calling the shots?
11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning



© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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