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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Oct. 16, 2009 / 28 Tishrei 5770

Collector meets his match (almost)

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Like most marriages, the husband and I have a relationship built on accommodating our polar opposite traits.


He saves; I jettison. He likes all things paper; I like a thumb drive. He considers a flat surface an invitation to pile things; I like uncluttered counters.


On hostile days, I refer to his kind as pack rats. He lovingly reminds me that the preferred term is collector.


When I once asked for a list of all the things he collects, he handed me a scrap of paper on which he had written: sports cards, sports magazines and books, old coins, postage stamps, newspapers, vinyl LPs, bank statements from 20 years ago, broken lawn mowers, and socks with holes in them.


The last few he threw in to taunt me, but like many collectors he really does save almost everything that interests him — which is nearly everything. And that is why a collector should never marry a collector. When you have two people who save everything, you have a couple that inevitably winds up on the nightly news.


A reporter stands in front of their house interviewing a firefighter who says, "It's the worst I've ever seen. There was stuff everywhere. We had to use a chainsaw to get through the living room to the kitchen where a smoking toaster was stacked on a tower of old Life magazines.


They often find a surplus of cats roaming through these houses as well. Sometimes they even find them in the freezer.


For five months, the husband has been clearing out his father's house, a house in which three generations of collectors collected. Naturally, much of the collection has traveled to our house. Our two-car garage became a one-car garage and eventually a no-car garage.


After three months, I gave up all hope of ever seeing the garage again. A collector's collection never condenses, it only spreads.


As a move of appeasement, the husband began putting things in plastic tubs. The giant plastic storage tub is to the modern-day collector what the cotton gin was to the Industrial Revolution.


Any sort of treasure, no matter how ancient, rotting or riddled with mildew, takes on an air of authenticity once it is housed in a plastic tub with a fitted lid. There were now three square feet of open space in the garage— ringed by walls of plastic storage tubs.


Picturing myself on the nightly news years before I planned, I told the husband that unless the tubs o' treasures were out of sight within two weeks, I would drag the contents to the driveway and set it on fire. This was beyond tough love, it was hot love.


Flames minus five days: Both cars were still in the drive.


Flames minus two days: I told the husband not to work too quickly. It would be anticlimactic if the deadline came and I didn't have anything to burn. Perhaps he could save those old pitchforks, which he referred to as primitives and I referred to as kindling.


One hour and 40 minutes before deadline: For the first time in months, a car rolled into the garage.


The fire in the driveway never happened and the spark in the marriage still burns.


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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.

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© 2009, Lori Borgman

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