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Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Oct. 18, 2006 / 26 Tishrei, 5767

Juxtaposing IQs and ERs

By Leonard Pitts, Jr.


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Today, we're going to administer an IQ test. One question only. Here's the scenario.


Let's say you get hurt at home. Let's say you cut off a favorite appendage with a hedge clipper or fall victim to the old step-on-a-rake gag. Let's say you have chest pains, stomach cramps, bruises, contusions and lacerations. Let's say your forehead is hotter than Eva Longoria in August. In Phoenix. In a bikini. A really small bikini. Fresh from the pool, her skin moist and giving you that pouty, saucy look the way she does, and . . . and . . .


I'm sorry, what were we talking about?


Oh yeah. You fall ill at home. What would do you do? Did you say, get to the emergency room immediately?


Oooh, sorry. Wrong answer.


In fact, that answer reveals something about you. Namely, that you are a woman. And therefore that you are —sorry, ladies —less intelligent than your average man.


See, your average man would have answered the question with a more important question: At the time of this hypothetical illness or injury, is there a ballgame on television? Assuming the answer was no, he would, indeed, get to the ER with all due haste. Assuming, however, the answer was yes, he would, using his superior intellect, choose to wait until the game was over and only then, rush to the emergency room.


Ladies, you wonder what the heck I'm talking about, right? My enhanced intelligence predicted your confusion. Well, last week, CNN juxtaposed (that means to place side by side for contrast or comparison) two fascinating stories on its website. One was Dr. Sanjay Gupta's report on a study by one Dr. J. Philippe Rushton, who, after analyzing SAT scores of 100,000 teenagers, claims that males are, on average, 3.6 IQ points smarter than females.


The other was an AP story on research by a medical doctor named David Jerrard. He crunched statistics of visits to an emergency room in Baltimore and found that, during telecasts of NFL games, Major League Baseball games, or games involving University of Maryland football or basketball, the number of men coming in to the ER drops precipitously. Immediately after the game goes off, ER visits by men spike by 40 percent.


Now you might, if you are a woman, question the idea that anyone who puts off seeking needed medical attention to watch a game can be described as intellectually superior. I would only say, ladies, that jealousy is not a very attractive trait. I mean, we are talking about the gender that invented the beer hat and the giant foam finger and made "Jackass" a multi-million dollar franchise, the gender that had the foresight to put girls on trampolines and refrigerators in recliners, the gender whose members can often be found on a frigid day standing in the stadium, screaming their throats raw and pounding hairy, shirtless chests painted in the colors of very large millionaires chasing a ball on the field below.


The level of our intelligence could hardly be more apparent.


So obviously, there is a profound intellectual reason for our willingness to delay medical help until after the game, and here it is: we know that sports is the most important thing in all of human existence.


And here, I know, some woman is nudging some other woman. They're in a snooty coffee bar drinking expensive lattes and Norah Jones is singing in the background. The first woman is saying: Did you read this clown? Can you believe him? Of all the manifestations of the arrogance of male-centric paradigms and patriarchal hegemony in the herstory of woman, this has got to the worst.


Ladies, women, female human units, lighten up. I'm putting you on, of course. For the record there's no way your humble correspondent would put off seeking needed medical assistance just so he could finish watching some stupid game.


Unless, you know, we were talking about the playoffs or something.

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© 2006, The Miami Herald Distributed by TMS

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