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Nov, 21, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Money matters?

Caroline B. Glick: Civilization walks the plank

Nov, 20, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: Bronfman's blindness

The Kosher Gourmet By Linda Gassenheimer: Portobellos add a hearty flavor to pasta with pesto

Nov, 19, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Spread the wealth? Jewish tradition and income equality

Elliot B. Gertel: 'Mad Men': Tackling prejudices or reinforcing them?

Nov, 18, 2008

Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn: The End of the Age of Reason

Jonathan Tobin: Does Barack + Bibi = Disaster?

Nov, 17, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The End of the Age of Reason

Diana West: Gulling Americans into making terror legit?

Nov, 14, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: The Power of Spiritual Inertia

Caroline B. Glick: The perils ahead

Nov, 13, 2008

Stratfor Intelligence Briefing: How Bush and Obama together could change the Middle East dynamic

The Kosher Gourmet by JeanMarie Brownson: Sweet and savory, crispy and meltingly tender bestilla

Nov, 12, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Tyrannical Co-Workers

Michael Doyle: High Court to consider today donated monuments that may have religious messages in public parks

Nov, 11, 2008

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Will Obama stop government officials considering institutionalizing financial jihad?

Jonathan Tobin: They Will Decide Their Own Fate

Nov, 10, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: $8 billion, modern-day Tower of Babel being built?

Barry Rubin: A letter to the president-elect from a Middle East realist

Nov, 7, 2008

Rabbi Francis Nataf: Of Children and Immortality

Caroline B. Glick: Livni's Obama strategy

Nov, 6, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: How I tricked a classroom of apathetic students into grasping the fallacy of moral relativism

The Kosher Gourmet By Gina Kim: Tips for making the perfect soup --- includes recipes

Nov, 5, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Destitute Debtors

Bruce Weinstein: 'Religulos': Bad title,even worse movie

Nov, 4, 2008

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Treasury Dept. submits to Shariah law

Frida Ghitis: A surprise for Obama in the Middle East

Nov, 3, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: Who says Jews are Smart?

Jonathan Tobin: Was He Wrong About Everything?

Oct. 31, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Our Immutable Noble Essence

Caroline B. Glick: Running against Bush

Oct. 30, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: The End of the Special Relationship?

Steve Lipman: 'Kid Kosher' Gets A Title Shot

Oct. 29, 2008

Binyamin L. Jolkovsky: GET US THE TAPE THE L.A. TIMES REFUSES TO RELEASE, AND WE'LL GIVE YOU CASH!

Dr. Ari Korenblit: Making The Write Choice for President

Oct. 28, 2008

Mona Charen: Denial runs through American Jewry

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Sell-off to capitalism or sell-out to Islam?

Oct. 27, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Are tax deductions for charitable donations moral?

Jonathan Mark: The Mystery Of The Arab-American Vote

Oct. 24, 2008

'Why aren't all religious people vegetarians?': Response by Miriam Kosman

Caroline B. Glick: Testing Obama's mettle

Oct. 23, 2008

Daniel Pipes: Obama Would Fail Security Clearance

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: A fast chicken dish with an Asian accent

Oct. 20, 2008

Gary Rosenblatt: Still One Torah

Jonathan Tobin: Government 'Gifts' Are Not Free

Oct. 17, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: Sukkos and the Great Meltdown

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of law

Oct. 16, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Copying DVDs: RIP OR RIPOFF?

Cal Thomas: Blaming the Jews (again)

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review Oct. 18, 2006 / 26 Tishrei, 5767

You can't tech it with you

By Malcolm Fleschner


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | It's always difficult to lose a loved one. Worse yet is having to explain the loss to a young child who has, at best, only a very basic understanding of what death means. Nevertheless, when faced recently with just such a loss in our household I didn't shirk from my grim responsibility. I sat down with my four-year-old daughter and gave it to her straight.


"Sweetie," I said, "I have some sad news to tell you. Maybe you've noticed that I've been pretty upset the past few days, and you may have even seen me crying a little bit. Well, there's a reason. And much as it pains me to tell you, I think you're old enough to hear the truth. Daddy's computer died."


I admit I was tempted to use one of the standard lines we feed to kids about death, like saying that the computer she'd enjoyed playing so many fun games on was getting old, so daddy was sending it back to the "computer farm" where it was born so that it could network and play with all the other machines.


Or I could have sugar-coated the truth by saying that the computer was happier now that it had gone up to a better place called "PC Heaven."


"You'll see it again one day, I promise," I could have lied. "As long as you keep doing good behavior, that is." Nothing like using a family tragedy to keep kids in line, that's my parenting motto.


The whole ordeal was tough for me too, however, as I worked through the standard stages of grief. At first, when the computer began acting funny and crashing more frequently, I was in denial.


I reassured myself by saying, "Oh, it probably just needs a new motherboard." But in my heart of hearts I think I knew, in that intuitive way you sometimes understand the truth of a situation even though you don't want to admit it, that I had no idea what a motherboard is.


Eventually I had to face facts -- the end was clearly approaching for the machine that had seemed so vibrant and fresh when I bought it way back in the long-forgotten era known as the spring of 2002. This was tough on me. Sure, my computer may have become hopelessly obsolete, and yes, I admit I had recently gazed longingly at the computer ads in the newspaper circular, but the fact remains that my old PC and I had been through a lot together.


(If this column is ever made into a movie, here's where the slow motion soft-focus montage of the two of us will go: scenes of me laughing over yet another hilarious forwarded email from my Aunt Libby, my tears pouring out onto the keyboard as I watch my entire investment in www.TubeSocksDirect.com go down the toilet, the computer and me frolicking hand-in-mouse as we run through a field of daisies, etc.)


But then things actually started looking up for the old machine. The fixit guy at the local repair shop called to say that he couldn't find anything wrong with my computer. I figured we'd just witnessed a high tech version of "Scared Straight" -- once my PC got a look at the other machines strewn around the back of the shop with their guts spilling out all over the place and technicians applying red-hot soldering irons to their private parts (the computers' private parts, that is), my old desktop figured it had better shape up or else.


Sadly, before long the same old problems cropped up again, until the machine stopped loading entirely. But as with any great loss, eventually comes acceptance. And while I'm no grief counselor, I'd pinpoint the moment I achieved that critical stage at about the time my new computer, with its powerful Pentium D microprocessor, 500 gigabyte hard drive and rewriteable DVD drive, arrived a week later.


My daughter, unfortunately, is still wallowing in denial. She gazes sadly at the old machine, perhaps lamenting all the games she played that I haven't yet bothered to load onto the new computer. Today she even came up to me with excitement in her eyes and said, "Daddy, Daddy, the old computer didn't really die!"


"Of course it didn't, honey," I reassured her, not looking up from my new 17-inch flat screen monitor with its razor-crisp graphics. "And it never will, as long as we keep its memory alive."


"No, Daddy," she said. "I pushed the button and it came on just like it's supposed to. We don't need the new computer!"


"There there," I replied, patting her on the head and standing up. "Honey," I added, as I walked over to unplug the old machine from the wall, "I think it's time Daddy told you about a wonderful place called PC Heaven."

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.


Previously:

10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning



© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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