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May 13, 2013

Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Why the giving of the document that would permanently change the world could only be done in desolation

David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church

Emily Alpert: Recession dragged down birth rates for less-educated women
Morgan Housel: The deep downside of home ownership

Peter Teffer: Will Dutch police soon be stalking cybercriminals on your computer?

Heidi McIndoo, M.S., R.D.: Meatless 'meat' can have its own set of problems

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Celebrate! This must-try appetizer is delicate yet has depth of flavor: Corn-Leek Cakes with Caviar, Smoked Salmon and Creme Fraiche

May 10, 2013

Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be

Caroline B. Glick: The dirty little secret about Israel's Arabs

Mona Charen: Hawking's Moral Calculus: The man and the movement he embraces
Morgan Housel: The biggest retirement myth ever told

Sandi Doughton: Eyes may provide new insight into brain problems

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : The Great Gatsby's Jewish Ties; Jews in the "Time 100 list" List; People's Most Beautiful Women

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: A sweet-hot meal: Pear salsa spices up salmon

May 8, 2013

Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas

Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate

Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
Amanda Paulson: Study reveals sad truths about community colleges

Harvard Health Letters: Evidence weak that zinc, echinacea are beneficial

The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility

May 6, 2013

Edmund Sanders and Patrick J. McDonnell: Think Israel's objective in Syria is to weaken Assad or embolden the rebels? Think again

Brian Bennett: Israeli airstrikes may show weakness in Syrian defense

Michael Ollove: Millions of ex-felons, parolees and those on probation are about to be entitled to tax-payer paid health coverage
Karen Kaplan: Most men can skip PSA test for prostate cancer, urologists say

Kimberly Lankford: How to track down a lost life insurance policy

Dream of Mars exploration achievable, experts say

The Kosher Gourmet by Susan M. Selasky: EGGPLANT WRAPS are an easy, sumptuous and scrumptious meal

May 3, 2013

Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Human Courage and the Unavoidable, Disturbing Text

Steven Emerson: Attorney General Fights CAIR in Court, Lauds it in Public

Mediterranean diet helps beat dementia: study
Harvard Health Letters: When to be screened for a hearing problem

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Iron Man's Jewish Connections; Marc Maron's New TV Show; Martin Landau Grows Up with Israel; Shalom, Allan Arbus

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: A sweet surprise for Mother's Day dessert

May 1, 2013

Jonathan Rosenblum: An Improbable Journey to Orthodoxy

Jonathan Tobin: Blame Obama, Not Israel for Syria Push

Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Halena M. Gazelka, M.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: What you need to know about implanted pain relief devices

Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine

Jessica Shugart: When it comes to math, MRIs may be better than IQs

The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: The celebrated chef on how high-maintenance ASPARAGUS RISOTTO need not be

April 29, 2013

Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust

Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?

Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Morgan Housel: He's rich, smart and old: Listen to him

Thomas Salinas, D.D.S.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: The safety of amalgam fillings

Harvard Health Letters: Tomatoes and stroke protection

Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Swing into spring with lemon cream pie

April 26, 2013

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: The world is a mirror

Caroline B. Glick: Time to confront Obama

Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Kimberly Lankford: New strategies ease pain of paying for long-term care insurance

Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Too much ibuprofen?

Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jewish Major Leaguers, 2013; New Movies and Comedy Show; Shalom, 'Lumpy' (Leave it to Beaver)

The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : A bright and cheerful salad to herald the warmer months ahead

April 24, 2013

Steven Emerson: Boston Bomber Exposes Islamist Secret

Morgan Housel Admit it: No one has any idea what's going on
Harvard Health Letters: Can you get headaches from headache medication?

Kerri-Ann Jennings, M.S., R.D.: How to easily get more Omega-3s in your diet

Melissa Healy: Pot in a pill: All the pain relief without the smoke

The Kosher Gourmet by Susan Russo: Chipotle Chili Butternut Squash Soup is bold, zesty, hot

April 22, 2013

Ken Dilanian: Counterterrorism's future is unclear

US man departing country arrested on terror charges
Barbara Williams: An unorthodox but growing treatment in a 9-year-old's battle against cancer

P.J. Skerrett, M.D.: How to recognize a good whole grain product

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Teen actor Jonah Bobo in New Flick: Hunky James Wolk on Mad Men; Erich Segal's Daughter Writes Prize-Winning Jewish Novel

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: 'Noodles,' Asian style is a carb sub, sure. But they are also amazingly delicious and colorful

April 19, 2013

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: When violence seems the only answer

Caroline B. Glick: Why Obama's visit to Israel had no impact on public opinion or government policy

Morgan Housel: Gold collapse: The start of something big?
Harvard Health Letters: Can you die of a broken heart?

Pete Spotts: Livable super-Earths? Two candidates among Kepler's latest finds

Nora Schultz: Oxytocin helps beat booze cravings

The Kosher Gourmet by Carole Kotkin: Middle Eastern cuisine meets Italian delicious with this lentil and eggplant pastitsio

April 17, 2013

Shira Rubin: Too much of a good thing? 'Palestinians' realize downside of foreign aid boom

Geoffrey Mohan: Can computers decode dreams? Researchers take a first step

Morgan Housel: BAD NEWS: EVERYONE IS RIGHT!
Brierley Wright, M.S., R.D.: 6 heart-healthy eating tips help cut saturated fat but not taste

Michael Craig Miller, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Told your child has sensory processing disorder? Seek a second opinion

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Corn and Curry Add Zing to Chilled Soup

April 15, 2013

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The Death of Education?

Kristen Chick: Egyptian Christians respond with harsh words to attack -- rocks, Molotov cocktails, and gunfire -- against main cathedral

Marcy Darnovsky and Karuna Jaggar: High Court to decide if you should own your DNA
Howard LaFranchi: US bracing for more Russian blowback after taking action against 18 more human rights violators

Kristin Ohlson : The loneliest fight

The Kosher Gourmet by Dana Velden: A tasty, rich dish that hints at spring's arrival while still anchored in a favorite winter staple

April 12, 2013

Rabbi Dr. Tzvi Hersh Weinreb: The Inspired Loner

Caroline B. Glick : Must we continue to be enablers of our own destruction?

Mark Clayton: New cybersecurity bill: Privacy threat or crucial band-aid?
Morgan Housel: Twitter: The carnival barker of investing

Harvard Health Letters.: Dietary supplements: Do they help or hurt?

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jackie Robinson's Friend, Hank Greenberg; CNN's Jake Tapper; Texas County in the News is named for 19thC. Jewish soldier and Congressman

The Kosher Gourmet by Susan Russo: FRUITY QUINOA STUFFED PEPPERS: A flavorful, colorful and edible vessel of delicately fluffy, mildly nutty filling combined with chewy apricots, tangy cherries, and crunchy pistachios

April 10, 2013

Edmund Sanders: Kerry leaves Israel with hopes, but few results

Nicholas Blanford: Iran's 'axis of resistance' loses its Palestinian arm to Syrian war

Peter Grier: North Korean missiles: Could US shoot them down?
Morgan Housel: Warning: Don't waste your capital being fooled by profit prophets

Donald Hensrud, M.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Take vitamin supplements with caution --- even approved, they may actually do damage

Eryn Brown: 74 DNA discoveries move cure closer for three cancers

Mark Guarino: Google Glass already has some lawmakers on high alert

The Kosher Gourmet by Dana Velden: A soup to feed every guest, no matter how finicky

April 8, 2013

Jonathan Tobin: What Part of No Preconditions Do American Jews Not Get?

Christa Case Bryant: No Place on Earth

Fred Weir: Is Putin finally trading his own party for a new power base?

Hara Estroff Marano: The Spice of Life
P.J. Skerrett, M.D.: Harvard Health Letters: Generic drugs: Don't ask, just tell

David Cook : Husband-hunting advice from Princeton alum triggers outrage, humor

The Kosher Gourmet by James T. Farmer III : A simple, rustic white pizza: Good ingredients, fresh herbs, and an infused olive layered upon a crispy crust hits the spot


Jewish World Review Oct. 28, 2005 / 25 Tishrei, 5766

Attend any good ‘divorce parties’ lately?

By Kathryn Lopez


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | A bizarre, damaging trend in love and marriage (or hate and divorce) is currently being glorified by the media, needlessly sending out harmful messages about marriage — playing with children's emotions in a poisonous way.

As recently seen on "The Today Show" and "Good Morning America," "divorce parties" are all the rage. Was your marriage on the rocks?

Well, the divorce papers are signed and it's now time to play "pin the blame on the ex" and "throw the wedding ring in the toilet" games — or so it is if you talk to the likes of the author of "The Woman's Book of Divorce: 101 Ways to Make Him Suffer Forever and Ever" (Citadel, 2001). Unfortunately besides celebrating the end of our most precious cultural institution, when there are kids involved it's also making light of the fracturing of families — a potential developmental disaster for children.

I hate to be a party pooper, but divorce has consequences. And to anyone who would like to pretend it's not a scarring event — it may not be you, but they are out there — author Elizabeth Marquardt has one thing to say: There's actually no such thing as a "good divorce."

That's the message in her new book, "Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce" (Crown).


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Marquardt, who herself "grew up divorced," focuses on children, who are, as the title points out, often split between two worlds: mom's and dad's. Marquardt studied 1,500 Americans ages 18-35, who grew up in families with both married and divorced parents. The differences are startling.

Children of divorce, Marquardt found, have a level of discomfort that kids with a married mom and dad just don't have. Sixty-nine percent of children in two-parent families reported going to one or both of their parents for comfort, while only 33 percent of children sought help while living in a divorced family.

Children of divorce are also less likely to feel protected by their parents, feel less safe at home, and are less likely to attend religious services. Obviously, this shakes out in different ways and to varying degrees, but it's certainly a developmental burden on kids.

The aforementioned laundry list is not intended to make parents feel bad. But it's a caution and a bit of a cultural wake-up call. "Most parents take the decision to divorce quite seriously, but I urge parents to think harder still," Marquardt writes. Sometimes, of course, divorce really is what has to happen. Sometimes the marriage is ended by one spouse, leaving the other to cope — with no real way for the other to have prevented it. And, in the end, as Marquardt notes, it's the couple's business.

But divorce is not always the only option. Marquardt reports that two-thirds of all divorces end "low-conflict marriages." Instead of infidelity or violence — real reasons to end a marriage — the catalyst may be boredom. In which case, we are definitely taking divorce too casually.

Recently, "Ask Amy" newspaper-advice columnist took a question from a woman in one of these marriages:

"He's not abusive in any way, to the kids or me; I just don't know if I love him anymore, and I can't stop scanning the 'apartments for lease' section in the paper." The single-parent columnist wasn't going to let "Good Mom But Tired of Being a Wife" get away with casual-divorce daydreams. "Ask Amy" responded:

"Divorce — amicable and otherwise — stinks, and though I believe that most amicably divorced families work things out quite well, it's hard, hard, hard. Unless there is clear abuse or neglect involved, children prefer for their parents to be together."

A few weeks later, a 13-year-old girl responded via the column to "... Tired of Being a Wife" with the sign-off "Feeling Sad and Betrayed." She wrote: "Guess what, if you are not a happy person, moving out isn't going to magically make you happy. In fact, it will make you more lonely and sad. It will make everyone sad. This lady needs to work on the problem instead of blowing up her kids' lives. It is her job to take care of them, first and foremost. Their trust of her is on the line."

Marriage, as people vow on the big day, is through the good times and the bad. That's not always easy, but it's not meant to be easy.

If you find yourself browsing through a divorce-party planner, you might want to look to your family instead and see what you can do to make it work. Man and wife and children will all be better off if mom and dad stick it out together.

And if you've got to go through with the big divorce — splitting up kids or not — please don't get a party started. Not only for the children, but for the message it sends the rest of us about blessed and arduous thing call marriage.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

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