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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Oct. 3, 2005 / 29 Elul, 5765

Study overlooks basic male traits

By Mitch Albom


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Through the years, the sentence "Men don't " has had many endings. There was "men don't leave" (a movie), "men don't eat quiche" (a book) and "men don't gave a damn about anything but their stupid selves" (women I have known).

However, we now know the ending, to which even Mother Nature must sadly nod her head:

Men don't wash their hands.

This has recently been proven by the American Society of Microbiology. Employing the highly scientific process of standing in public restrooms and spying on people, it has concluded that, while 90 percent of women, on average, wash their hands after, you know, whatever, only 75 percent of men do.

And at Atlanta Braves games, it's 63 percent.

There are so many questions here. The first, obviously, is: Why did scientists go to an Atlanta Braves game when it's not even the playoffs? And what constitutes a wash? (Because if wiping your fingers on your pants leg counts, the numbers might shoot up.)

Also, if scientists are spying on people in public restrooms, is it really science, or a felony misdemeanor?

But I'm nitpicking.

The fact is, let's face it, the study is correct. If anything, it gives men too much credit. As someone who has spent way too much time in stadium, hotel and airport bathrooms — wait, that didn't come out right — I can attest that the typical male behavior goes like this:

(1) Find place to put down luggage, Blackberry or giant cup of beer.

(2) Conclude there is no place, so do everything one-handed.

(3) Finish, zip.

(4) Sip beer.

(5) At mirror, check receding hairline.

(6) Depart.

If — and this is a big if — a sink faucet is already dispensing water, a man might slide a free hand underneath it, while still looking at his receding hairline. He will never shut the faucet off, out of kindness for the next male customer and also because he can't believe he's losing his hair that fast. And then, as previously mentioned, he will wipe his hand on his pants leg and leave.

I know women find this unsatisfactory, but most men count that as a wash. Some count it as a shower.

The American Society of Microbiology is not impressed. I spoke with a communications director there who said washing means water, soap and — get this! — drying your hands.

Man. They're really strict.

In defense of my gender, men worry about time when using the bathroom. To men, the bathroom is a place to get in and out of as fast as possible, much like a therapist's office. Whereas women, based on the lines, can't wait to get into a bathroom. They like it so much, they go every six minutes. Of course, they wash in there. As far as men can tell, they're getting their hair done!

It's true, as scientists note, dirty hands help spread flu and other infectious diseases. Then again, so does kissing, and you don't see anyone hosing down before that.

Besides, men, by nature, employ a deductive logic to such situations, summed up by the sentence, "Aw, what difference does it make?" We know that after the bathroom come doorknobs, and handling money, and high-fiving the fat guy sitting next to you after a home run (or, in the case of the filthy Atlanta Braves fans, every time a player is introduced).

So yes, we men, if left on our own, would sleep in a pile of mud, as long as there was TiVo. And we don't worry about the full body wash after nature calls. This is not a good thing. The report is embarrassing.

On the other hand — as any wife holding an instruction manual can tell you — there is another "men don't " that the American Society of Microbiology forgot: Men don't read.

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