Jewish World Review
News of the Weird: Unclear on the Concept
By
Chuck Shepherd

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
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"Do You See the Blimp Who Robbed You?": In August, 400-pound Eric Kenley, 48, won a new trial for his two New York City robbery convictions after appeals court judges realized that the police lineup that identified him was unfair, in that he was apparently much fatter than the other men in his lineup. The police had attempted to compensate by using larger-than-average men and by presenting them all seated, to minimize the weight difference. [New York Post, 8-25-2011]
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Obviously intense about potential child-trafficking, the government of Quebec, Canada, requires strict proof of a live birth, certified by a doctor or licensed midwife. However, the waiting list to hire either one is long, and Heather Mattingsly went with an unlicensed midwife, whose word the Directeur de l'etat civil declined to accept. Four months after the birth, the agency ordered Mattingsly to submit to a vaginal examination. After "calls from the media" (according to a Montreal Gazette report) persuaded the agency that such an exam was useless, it finally agreed, on Aug. 26, to grant a birth certificate if Mattingsly submitted a doctor-certified copy of her pre-birth ultrasound. [Montreal Gazette, 8-26-2011]
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You're Doing It Wrong: Jason Dean, 24, was arrested in Ringgold, Ga., in August and charged with false imprisonment after he waited in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, approached an 18-year-old woman and handcuffed her to himself. After her screams brought others to come help her, Dean explained that he had been trying for several months to get the woman to go out with him but that she had so far refused. [Times Free Press (Chattanooga, Tenn.), 8-11-2011]
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A New York Times obituary for former lead singer Jani Lane of the heavy metal band Warrant revealed that Mr. Lane's birth name (he was born a year after Lee Harvey Oswald assassinated President John F. Kennedy) was John Kennedy Oswald. Rebellious musicians (Warrant's debut album was "Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich") often adopt provocative stage names to enhance their image, but Mr. Lane must be one of the very few to have abandoned a provocative birth name in favor of a bland one. [New York Times, 8-13-2011]
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Previously:
• Don't read on a full stomach; Inexplicable
• Can't Possibly Be True!
• Direct Pipelines from the Pentagon to U.S. Enemies
• This can't be true!
• All cultures are equal!?
• People With Issues; Least Competent Criminals
• The perfect marriage?; heavenly points for trying?
• Pervs on Parade; Least Competent People
• HUH!????
• Our Animal Sidekicks
• No, Thanks!
• For Self-Indulgent Crackpots
• The Pervo-American Community; Least Competent Criminals
• The Continuing Crisis
• Compelling Explanations?
• Ironies
• Government turns TLC into crime, fine
• The Pervo-American Community; truly bizarre historical trivia
• Coincidence?; Catch-22; Unclear on the Concept
• Jobs-for-life; Bats' Rights
• Government in Action!
• Ironic twist on affirmative action; Ah, art!
• Names in the News (For Immature Readers Only, Please!); Pathetic losers
• The continuing crisis, con't; The Pervo-American Community
• The Continuing Crisis
• New meaning for adult toy; OOPS! Wrong crime
• THE NERVE!
• Police Blotter
• Recent Confusing Headlines; People With Issues
• Unclear on the Concept
• Can't Possibly Be True!
• Respect all cultures!?; screwed for something he didn't
• Least Competent Criminals; He's full of . . . .
• MORE Questionable Judgments
• Questionable Judgments
• Cultural Diversity
• White men can …; Cutting-Edge Research
• Undignified Deaths; Recurring Themes
• People Different From Us --- And Most!; Leading Economic Indicators
• Civilization in Decline: Growing Up Early
• The Entrepreneurial Spirit!
• Life lessons for make-believe world; Armed and Clumsy (all-new!)
• Recurring Themes; Update
• You just had to open that yap of yours, didn't you!?
• Ironies
• Fan-atic$; Unclear on the Concept
• Easily Offended
• Criminals With Chutzpah; Least Competent Non-Criminals
• Almost (Deservedly) Dead in Bed; Gee, whiz genius; They Call it Art!
• More of your Government in Action!
• Government in Action!
• The Aristocrats!
• Oops!
• The Continuing Crisis
• Bright Ideas
• OOPS!
• People With Issues
• News That Sounds Like a Joke; Inexplicable
• Can't Possibly Be True!, II
• Can't Possibly Be True!
• T-moo-I!; Unclear on the Concept
• Creme de la Weird; Least Competent Gun-Handling
• HUH!?; Questionable Judgments
• Our screwed-up world
• The Classic Middle Name (all-new!); Unclear on the Concept
• Least Competent Patient; Rights of the Disabled
• Procreation Interventions; Weird Animals
• Who says we're in a recession!?; Navel Observatory
• Fine Points of the Law; Medical Marvels
• How the Saudis hold beauty contests; The Entrepreneurial Spirit!; Noses Know
• Cliche Come to Life; art!?; worse
• I Demand My Rights!; Signs of the Times
• Compelling Explanations; 'Wrong' Impressions
• Ironies
• Least Competent Criminals
• HUH!?
• When government bombs; Bizarre art
• Chutzpah!
• Pakistan finds a use for transgendered; People With Issues
• Least Competent Criminals; Usual consequence for an unqualified student
• Why Unions Are Unpopular; Score One for Death Penalty Advocates
• Those who don't know when to shut their yap
• Overreaching
• Oops!; Wheeee!
• Least Competent Criminals; Last Words
• Inexplicable
• HUH!?
• Can't Possibly Be True!
• Zero Tolerance?; Willing to go to Indonesia to cure for emphysema?
• FANatic; what a putz literally!
• The ultimate loser; chutzpah X2
• Illegals become animals; When grow up! is not just a rebuke
• 'Good Housekeeping' for the bomber set; evolutionary hardiness in American drinkers?
• In case you are getting sentenced; when a best friend betrays
• Clever victim outwits thief
• Do names portend the future?
• Questionable Judgments
• They are definitely not US!
• Smooth Reactions; Least Competent Criminals
• People With Too Much Money
• The Entrepreneurial Spirit: Product Giveaways
• Weird Science
• Whoever said life is fair?
• Creme de la Weird; The Litigious Society
• Ironies
• Least Competent Criminals; Classic weirdness
• News That Sounds Like a Joke; The Weirdo-American Community
• Pathetic creeps
• Government in Action!
• People Different From Us; Least Competent Criminals Not Ready for Prime Time
• Not So Bright Ideas
• No Sense of Shame!
• Yikes!
• Change, the old fashioned way; Another Sovereign Citizen
• Elusive Perps; The Country Afraid of Its Own Shadow
• More Can't Possibly Be True!
• Inexplicable
• Can't Possibly Be True
• Things that make say HUH!?
• Least Competent Criminals; Classic
• SICK! SICK! SICK!
• Questionable Judgments
• All cultures are equal?
• Feeeeeeeh!
• Least Competent Criminals; She's repulsive, they're jealous
• The Entrepreneurial Spirit; Not Your Father's Scotch
• Science on the Cutting Edge
• Privacy v. art; The Continuing Crisis
• Recurring Themes; A News of the Weird Classic
• People With Issues; Least Competent Criminals
• Economics and witchcraft; Ironies
• From victims to tourist attractions; Wacky lawsuit
• Compelling Explanations
• Least Competent Criminals; People Who Ran Over Themselves
• Surprise!; 'That Was Easy!'
• Government in Action!
• Bizarre art
• Getting Old, Young; from the archives
• Undignified Deaths
• Bright Ideas; Least Competent Criminals
• Oops!; Failed to Think It Through
• The Continuing Crisis; Beloved Banker
• The ear has a G-spot
• Respect for All Cultures?
• First Things First
• Questionable State Regulation; Can't Possibly Be True
• Unclear on the Concept; Least Competent Criminals
• Where down is up; Can't Possibly Be True
• Least Competent Criminals; Things that Make You Say: Huh!?
• News That Sounds Like a Joke
• Cultural Diversity; eggs-ellent! (from the archives)
• News from Islam-land; Latest Cutting-Edge Research
• Those Ingenious Western Spies!; Cultural Diversity
• Can't Possibly Be True; Motherly Love
• Least Competent Criminals; Questionable Judgments
• This mafia really are animals; out of control businesses
• Science on the Cutting Edge
• Daring New Products
• Least Competent Criminals; from the archives
• If Life Gives You …
• Their Crimes Fit Their Names; Bright Ideas
• Latest Rights; Compelling Explanations
• One of the world's most bizarre conferences; delicious ironies
• Thinning the herd; Downgrade Cut Short; from the archives
• Cleverest Non-Humans; Medicare In Action
• Oops!; The Weirdo-American Community; Least Competent Criminals
• Life Imitates a Drew Barrymore Movie; Weird Science; Questionable Judgments
• Questionable Judgments; Great, ahem, Art!
• Fine Points of the Law; Thank Goodness for Narcissists
• Cliches Come to Life; First Things First; Fine Points of the Law
• News That Sounds Like a Joke; Suspicions Confirmed; Yikes!
• Do They Know?; Yikes!
• Catch-22 Catches Disabled Veteran; The Continuing Crisis; Best Not to Ask Why
© 2011, Chuck Shepherd. Distributed by Universal Uclick
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