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Jewish World Review Sept. 21, 2011 / 22 Elul, 5771 Justice, My Aunt, and Gretsky By Alan Douglas http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | My faith in justice has recently been renewed. My wife, and my friend, believe families should be close, supportive and happy. I believe families should stay in touch, and avoid killing each other. The idea of those who know me and have spent years with me being supportive and happy is what is called, an "aspirational goal." Or in other words, bunk. Friends want what's best for you, family want not to have to pick up the pieces. But, my wife and my friend, both felt strongly that I should call my Aunt in Palm Beach each week, so I gave in. In her eighties, estranged from her family, and with few friends, my Aunt has over the course of a lifetime managed to alienate thousands of people by "setting them straight." When my Aunt told one person, "Look at how fat you have gotten!" that was enough for their husband to declare an embargo on further humiliation and cut off communications. I am used to my Aunt telling me that I am an "idiot" "incompetent" etc. My Aunt believes it is her duty to tell people the hard truth. She enjoys the "hard" part. But I loved my Uncle, and since his passing, one way I honor my love for him is to look out for his wife, my Aunt. She also serves as a wonderful negative role model. After speaking to her I am always more considerate of the feelings of others and feel the need to actually compliment and thank those around me. So honor, duty and guilt made me bow to my wife and friend's advice that I should start calling my Aunt weekly. It was a way to demonstrate my concern and to make sure that although she lived alone, that she knew she was not alone in this world. The calls were short or long- based upon my Aunt's mood. I learned not to ask anything. She explained that when she asked how much our house cost, or what my wife was being paid; it was out of concern. But when I asked how she was feeling or doing- it was just being nosy. I also learned that she was very, very busy and that my calling all the time was a sign of disrespect. My weekly calls came at the worst time and calling was a nuisance. I offered to call less frequently or at a set time. She thought about it but didn't see why she had to commit herself. My big mistake was Wayne Gretsky. During one call, when my Aunt said how great it was that Wayne Gretsky was such a hero, and how he opened the Olympics and what an honor it was since he is Jewish I mentioned, "I don't think he's Jewish." She announced shortly thereafter that my calls were "just too much of a waste" of her time and asked that I stop calling. She explained that her neighbor and her attorney had my phone number so if anything happened I shouldn't worry; one of them would call me. My wife and friend advised me to stay the course. The next call resulted in my Aunt shouting at me, "Didn't I tell you not to call me!" I hoisted the White Flag of surrender and informed my wife and friend, there would be no more calls. My wife called my Aunt to show me "how it was done." My wife and my friend pointed out that if handled properly, calls to my Aunt were certainly a source of pleasure and pride. They discounted my skepticism, as coming from a sore loser. My Aunt sent a note addressed to my wife the other day… Just because I told Alan not to call me (PERIOD) does not mean that his wife has to. He must have told you to pick up the phone. My Mother did not raise any stupid children. I am fine and too busy to stay on the phone for the length of time and too busy for shit-chat. Don't worry about me, if needed, my lawyer has your address. Stay well. Am I falsely accused as the mastermind of a conspiracy to call my Aunt? You betch ya. But I am now happily, honoring my Aunt's request. My friend and my wife have their work cut out for them. They will have to find another way of making their vision of blissful family life come true, without my participation. I am sure my Aunt is more than a match for them. Over the years, I have learned that some disputes are best viewed from the bleachers. Somehow, I feel less "falsely accused", than vindicated. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Comment by clicking here. JWR contributor Alan Douglas, an author, media executive, speaker, and attorney, lives con brio- except when he is grumpy. Previously: Hurricanes, Earthquakes and Home Depot Glenn Beck, Norway, Hitler and Me D Day: The Ripple Effect What are you paying for? Law, Etiquette and 5 Rules Inspiration Confusing Kindness with Weakness When Katie Couric Got Pulled Off the Air… Don't second guess the deceased Pain and legacies Being in the No The Sixth Sense Dogs in Danger Facebook, LinkedIn and the Zuckerberg Exit Simon Bolivar Would Tell Glenn Beck to, ‘Put A Sock In It’ Children and Grandchildren Swearing, Shoes, and Mark Twain How my poor man's Porsche, Virgil, prepared me for life Leases and Landing Gear The Oscars, Obama and Job Creation Damages and Penalties Obstacles with Impossibilities Making Others Feel Bad Referrals and Recommendations Woodpecker Frustration Phrases, Not Resolutions I Was A Crime Fighter and Super Hero Comforting with Sympathizing Nautical Worry Killers Can You Keep A Secret? Holiday Card Hazards Gifts Sharing, Transparency and Dumping Red Alert Readers Respond Regarding Rabbi Readers: I Need Your Help with my Rabbi Humphrey Bogart and P. T. Barnum on Fighting with Family and Friends Columbus, Honors and Hound Dogs The Free Lunch When your child suffers Conversational Transmitted Diseases Conservative, Liberal or American Paris, Antarctica and Shopping Personal Protection Dispute Resolution Jumped or Pushed? Friends and Acquaintances Revenge and Vindication © 2010 Alan Douglas

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