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April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Sept. 21, 2011 / 22 Elul, 5771

Justice, My Aunt, and Gretsky

By Alan Douglas




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | My faith in justice has recently been renewed.

My wife, and my friend, believe families should be close, supportive and happy. I believe families should stay in touch, and avoid killing each other. The idea of those who know me and have spent years with me being supportive and happy is what is called, an "aspirational goal." Or in other words, bunk. Friends want what's best for you, family want not to have to pick up the pieces. But, my wife and my friend, both felt strongly that I should call my Aunt in Palm Beach each week, so I gave in.

In her eighties, estranged from her family, and with few friends, my Aunt has over the course of a lifetime managed to alienate thousands of people by "setting them straight." When my Aunt told one person, "Look at how fat you have gotten!" that was enough for their husband to declare an embargo on further humiliation and cut off communications. I am used to my Aunt telling me that I am an "idiot" "incompetent" etc. My Aunt believes it is her duty to tell people the hard truth. She enjoys the "hard" part. But I loved my Uncle, and since his passing, one way I honor my love for him is to look out for his wife, my Aunt. She also serves as a wonderful negative role model. After speaking to her I am always more considerate of the feelings of others and feel the need to actually compliment and thank those around me.

So honor, duty and guilt made me bow to my wife and friend's advice that I should start calling my Aunt weekly. It was a way to demonstrate my concern and to make sure that although she lived alone, that she knew she was not alone in this world. The calls were short or long- based upon my Aunt's mood. I learned not to ask anything. She explained that when she asked how much our house cost, or what my wife was being paid; it was out of concern. But when I asked how she was feeling or doing- it was just being nosy. I also learned that she was very, very busy and that my calling all the time was a sign of disrespect. My weekly calls came at the worst time and calling was a nuisance. I offered to call less frequently or at a set time. She thought about it but didn't see why she had to commit herself.

My big mistake was Wayne Gretsky. During one call, when my Aunt said how great it was that Wayne Gretsky was such a hero, and how he opened the Olympics and what an honor it was since he is Jewish I mentioned, "I don't think he's Jewish." She announced shortly thereafter that my calls were "just too much of a waste" of her time and asked that I stop calling. She explained that her neighbor and her attorney had my phone number so if anything happened I shouldn't worry; one of them would call me. My wife and friend advised me to stay the course. The next call resulted in my Aunt shouting at me, "Didn't I tell you not to call me!"

I hoisted the White Flag of surrender and informed my wife and friend, there would be no more calls. My wife called my Aunt to show me "how it was done." My wife and my friend pointed out that if handled properly, calls to my Aunt were certainly a source of pleasure and pride. They discounted my skepticism, as coming from a sore loser.

My Aunt sent a note addressed to my wife the other day…


Just because I told Alan not to call me (PERIOD) does not mean that his wife has to. He must have told you to pick up the phone. My Mother did not raise any stupid children. I am fine and too busy to stay on the phone for the length of time and too busy for shit-chat. Don't worry about me, if needed, my lawyer has your address. Stay well.


Am I falsely accused as the mastermind of a conspiracy to call my Aunt? You betch ya. But I am now happily, honoring my Aunt's request. My friend and my wife have their work cut out for them. They will have to find another way of making their vision of blissful family life come true, without my participation. I am sure my Aunt is more than a match for them. Over the years, I have learned that some disputes are best viewed from the bleachers. Somehow, I feel less "falsely accused", than vindicated.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment by clicking here.

JWR contributor Alan Douglas, an author, media executive, speaker, and attorney, lives con brio- except when he is grumpy.


Previously:

Hurricanes, Earthquakes and Home Depot
Glenn Beck, Norway, Hitler and Me
D Day: The Ripple Effect
What are you paying for?
Law, Etiquette and 5 Rules
Inspiration
Confusing Kindness with Weakness
When Katie Couric Got Pulled Off the Air…
Don't second guess the deceased
Pain and legacies
Being in the No
The Sixth Sense
Dogs in Danger
Facebook, LinkedIn and the Zuckerberg Exit
Simon Bolivar Would Tell Glenn Beck to, ‘Put A Sock In It’
Children and Grandchildren
Swearing, Shoes, and Mark Twain
How my poor man's Porsche, Virgil, prepared me for life
Leases and Landing Gear
The Oscars, Obama and Job Creation
Damages and Penalties
Obstacles with Impossibilities
Making Others Feel Bad
Referrals and Recommendations
Woodpecker Frustration
Phrases, Not Resolutions
I Was A Crime Fighter and Super Hero
Comforting with Sympathizing
Nautical Worry Killers
Can You Keep A Secret?
Holiday Card Hazards
Gifts
Sharing, Transparency and Dumping
Red Alert
Readers Respond Regarding Rabbi
Readers: I Need Your Help with my Rabbi
Humphrey Bogart and P. T. Barnum on Fighting with Family and Friends
Columbus, Honors and Hound Dogs
The Free Lunch
When your child suffers
Conversational Transmitted Diseases
Conservative, Liberal or American
Paris, Antarctica and Shopping
Personal Protection
Dispute Resolution
Jumped or Pushed?
Friends and Acquaintances
Revenge and Vindication

© 2010 Alan Douglas

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