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Jewish World Review Sept. 16, 2010 / 8 Tishrei, 5771 Food fight leaves couple frosted By Lori Borgman http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | There are two types of people: Those who scrape two tablespoons of leftovers into an air tight box and lovingly place them in the ‘fridge and those who jam them down the disposal and flip the switch. Invariably, they wind up marrying each other. After watching a small container with a handful of peas and two pearl onions incubate for a week, I cart them to the disposal when someone jumps over the kitchen island and snatches them from my clutches like they are the last vegetables on the planet. “You weren’t going to throw those out were you?” the husband asks. “No, I was just dangling them over the disposal to taunt them,” I say. “But I’ll eat them!” That’s what he always says. My question is when, what color will they be, and will they have grown hair? Our ‘fridge overflows with small containers holding two pieces of broccoli, one tablespoon of tomato paste, five black olives, a one-inch chunk of roast beef and six grains of wild rice. It would be a regular smorgasbord if we were crickets, but we are not. My saver will even box up a half cup of tossed salad with dressing on it and croutons. The croutons absorb the moisture and expand wildly like those sponge capsules you drop into a glass of water and watch mushroom into orange sea horses. Ten days later he peels back the lid on the salad, takes a sniff and says, “What’s this?” “Sea horses,” I say. He eats it. The only things we both agree on never throwing out are the condiments. More than half of our refrigerator is filled with ketchup, mustard, salad dressings, vinegars and barbecue sauces. We consider condiments a major food group. I sometimes save leftovers, too, but I use a different system than the husband. He owns the ‘fridge; I rule the freezer. I have holiday candy in the freezer that can get us from Halloween through Valentine’s Day. Nobody ever eats it, so I just keep refreezing it. We have candy corn hard as a rock, red and white peppermints that have fossilized, and conversation candy hearts that will crack your molars. I save a lot of soup, too. If we have two servings left over, I put it in a container thinking won’t that be nice to pull out of the freezer on a bitter cold day. Then the cold snap is over, summer is here, and those little blocks of soup sit there glaring at me as I reach right past them for the ice cream. We have enough soup in the freezer to eat every night for three months running. Of course, we’d have to thaw it first. The husband has no idea I’m a saver, too. What he doesn’t know won’t chill him. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here. ARCHIVES © 2009, Lori Borgman

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