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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

Music to my ears it's not

By Jim Mullen




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | If you like big, brassy Broadway musicals, boy is this the season for you. Lighting up the Great White Way (or the Chicago equivalent) this fall will be "Shrek," "Spider-Man," the "Addams Family" and — no wait, "Spider-Man"? I'm trying to imagine a bus full of blue-haired matinee ladies leaving the theater humming songs from "Spider-Man," and it's not working. Are the Ramones even involved?


I must have been out of town the day the memo came out directing that every movie ever made had to be turned into a Broadway musical. "The Producers," "Fame," "Footloose," "The Full Monty," "Billy Elliot," "Legally Blonde," "The Lion King," and "The Little Mermaid" are just a few of the Broadway musicals "inspired" by the movies. No doubt, at this very moment, someone is writing rousing numbers for "Little Miss Sunshine," "Juno," "Slumdog Millionaire," "The Devil Wears Prada" and "Julie and Julia." Can the all singing, all-dancing "Pirates of the Caribbean," based on the movie that was based on the Disney theme park ride be far behind?


Even though I only paid $10 for the movie ticket, I can hardly wait to pay a $125 to see the musical based on the movie. Unless I get it from a legal scalper, in which case I will get to pay two or three times that much. Still, there are probably only 10 or 20 movies a year that I want to see performed with a high-kicking chorus line and skimpy, sexy costumes. After Broadway producers run out of movies to scavenge, they'll have to move on to greener pastures.


I remember there was a fad a few years ago that whenever you opened a fortune cookie after a meal of Chinese take-out, you would add the words "in bed" to the end of the fortune.


"Concern yourself more with others than yourself," the fortune might read. Then someone would giggle, "In bed."


"Look for the good in the worst and you will find it." "In bed." It always spiced up the lamest, most obtuse fortunes. It sure beat saying, "What does that mean? That's not a fortune, it's an aphorism. Give me another cookie." By the way, if you're still adding "in bed" to your fortunes, quit it. It stopped being a fad in early 1987.


It's time we start a new fad. I suggest we add the phrase "the Musical!" to every book, every movie, every CD, every store name you see. Like refrigerator magnet poetry, it works its Broadway magic almost every time. Don't forget the exclamation point!


Most Popular Ringtones: the Musical! Glenn Beck: the Musical! CSI: the Musical! Beer Pong: the Musical! Dr. Phil: the Musical! No Country for Old Men: the Musical! Shopping at Target: the Musical! Dexter: the Musical! I'm a Mac and You're a PC: the Musical! Facebook: the Musical! 60 Minutes: the Musical! Texas Hold'em: The Musical, The Nutty Professor: the Musical! Whoops! Can't use that one, somebody's really doing that.


Borrowing from previous works for musicals is a long tradition; "West Side Story" is, after all, "Romeo and Juliet" set to music, "My Fair Lady" is the musical of Shaw's "Pygmalion." "Show Boat" is based on the Edna Ferber book and "Les Mis" is from the Victor Hugo tome. But of all the possible books, plays and movies in the entire world to turn into a musical, would you have picked "The Nutty Professor"? Over "Eraserhead" and "Con Air"?

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment by clicking here.

Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."


Previously:


You don't light up my life
Fair or not: Country living is far from ‘Little House’
A parable for the ‘ages’
Top 100 Cable news stories of the century
Green dumb
A developing story
Thinking outside the lunch box
What's good for the goose is good for the scanner
Newspapers will survive, but network TV?
A really big show of generation gaps
When pigs flu
The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated
Mergers and admonitions
Invest in gold: little, yellow, different
Stuck in Folsom Penthouse
Collecting karma
Setting loose the creative ‘juice’
It's all in the numbers
You're damaging your brain with practical skills
The real rat pack
The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic
Gross-ery shopping



© 2009, NEA

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