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June 19, 2013

Peter Grier and Harry Bruinius: In the end, NSA might not need to snoop so secretly after all

Howard LaFranchi: Taliban peace talks hold glimmer of hope, but also unanswerable questions

Warren Richey: Supreme Court: For right to remain silent, a suspect must speak
Meredith Cohn: Leeches are making a comeback as medical helpers

Kerri-Ann Jennings, M.S., R.D.: How to pick the healthiest breakfast cereal

The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: Spicy Double Chocolate Banana Muffins

June 17, 2013

Rabbi Simcha Weinstein: Black to the Future: American Apparel Gets Biblical

Patrik Jonsson: Minnesota Nazi: How did Nazi hunters miss Michael Karkoc?

Kate Irby, Ali Watkins, Trevor Graff and Kevin Thibodeaux: All the ways you're being watched
Don Lee: G-8 meeting will test NSA leaks' effect on U.S. influence

Patrik Jonsson: Fort Hood shooting: Judge nixes Nidal Hasan defense strategy. What now?

Stacey Burling: Why the stigma for migraine sufferers?

The Kosher Gourmet by Lisa Abraham: Does it work? 5 new kitchen gadgets put to the test

June 14, 2013

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: A spiritual budget: Religious economics and being a ruler

John P. Martin: Hitler insider's missing diary found

Matt Pearce: NSA surveillance disclosure could affect court cases
Peter Tinti: US bounties changes strategy on (Wild, Wild) West African jihadis

Daniel Pendrick, M.D.: Memory loss? Old age may be the least of it

Lauren F. Friedman: But it's all natural! Should we have an instinctive preference for herbal remedies?

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Streisand and Alicia Keys in Israel; "Girls" Stuff; Mel Brooks, Another TV special; Superman (who is Jewish) returns --- Israeli plays his mom

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon K. Ghag : Bored with salad? Bling it up a bit (4 effortless recipes that will result in a 'WOW!')

June 12, 2013

Stephanie Hanes: Little girls or little women? The Disney princess effect

Fred Weir: In tweak to US, Russia would 'consider' asylum for Snowden

Sharon Palmer, R.D.: What's so special about Omega-3 supplements?
Morgan Housel: What newspapers were saying when you should have been buying

Pete Spotts: How cockroaches evolved so as to bypass 'roach motels'

The Kosher Gourmet by Anjali Prasertong: Deep-dish cookie: Warm, gooey and a little over the top

June 10, 2013

Joseph A. Slobodzian: Faith healing and third degree murder: Thorny legal case
Lindsay Wise: Few options for online users to avoid spying, experts say

Sharon Palmer, R.D.: There are plenty of nutritional food bargains out there
Harvard Health Letters: Can bariatric surgery control diabetes?

Zach Murdock: Superglue helps doctors save infant's life

The Kosher Gourmet by Celebrated chef Mario Batali : As good as grilling gets: Rib eye with dry mushroom spice rub

June 7, 2013

Rabbi David Aaron: Beating jealousy

Caroline B. Glick: Wounded . . . and dangerous

Clifford D. May: Al Qaeda vs. Hezbollah
Harvard Health Letters: Fighting back against allergy season

Kimberly Lankford: Grandparents who use FSA to cover grandkid's braces and other must-know info

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom:J ewish Tony Nominees/Tony Awards; Jewish Teen Actor In Sci-Fi Flick; Jewish singer in "Voice" finals

The Kosher Gourmet by Anjali Prasertong: A tart filling so good it might not make it to the crust

June 5, 2013

John Rosemond: Mom, Dad: Talk More and listen less

Kristen Chick: Egypt court sentences 43 pro-democracy workers to prison

Sharon Palmer, R.D.: Mushrooms Have Medicinal As Well As Culinary Value
Morgan Housel: Why you never learn from your investment mistakes

Don Lee: In China, kindergarten rivalry takes deadly turn

The Kosher Gourmet by Sara Kate Gillingham-Ryan: 30-Minute Coq au Vin isn't a dream

June 3, 2013

Molly Hennessy-Fiske: Military judge to consider letting Fort Hood shooting defendant represent himself

Richard A. Serrano: Pvt. Bradley Manning's WikiLeaks trial also a test for government

Mark Trumbull: Have degree, driving cab: Nearly half of college grads are overqualified
Kim Lankford: What to do when long-term care insurance premiums rise

Deborah Netburn: Study: Adults' mouth bacteria may help babies

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom: Jewish Contestant on 'The Voice'; Will Smith's 'Jewish movie family'; Bravo Gives Long Island Jews the Jersey Shore Treatment; Magicians and More

The Kosher Gourmet by Bill Ward: How to be as refined as the wines at a wine tasting

May 29, 2013

Andrew Connelly and Helene Bienvenu: The Little Synagogue that Refused to Die

Dennis Prager: The 'Muslims-Killed-by-the-West' Lie

David Clark Scott: Open war on teachers?
Morgan Housel: If you know only five things about investing, make it these

Sara Reardon: AGenome detectives change the donation game

Deborah Netburn: A one-way ticket to Mars? 78,000-plus and counting apply by video

The Kosher Gourmet by Bev Bennett: CHEDDAR AND CHERRY MUFFINS --- your mouth is already watering

May 24, 2013

Rabbi Tzvi Hersh Weinreb: When I didn't so 'humbly disagree'

Caroline B. Glick: Thank you, Hafez al-Assad

Diana West: From the Brooklyn Bridge to London
Morgan Housel: Why spotting bubbles is so much harder than you think

Environmental Nutrition editors: NuVal labeling to the rescue?

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Memorial Day: Jews Serving and KIA in War on Terror; Liberace Bio-Pic; Jew Wins "Survivor"; Shalom, Dr. Brothers; More

The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen: HIDE THESE FROZEN TREATS FROM THE KIDDIES!: Sangria pops; Irish cream pudding pops; mango Lassi pops

May 22, 2013

John Thorne: They launched the 'Arab Spring' but now yearn for the good old days of a strongman

John Rosemond: 'Disciplinary math' adds up to parental successl

Warren Richey: Are prayers before public meetings OK? Supreme Court to decide
Rick Montgomery: Use of ADHD drugs as study aid raises concern on campuses

Brierley Wright, M.S., R.D.: 6 convincing reasons you should keep carbs in your diet

Eoin O'Carroll: Scientists examine nothing, find something

The Kosher Gourmet by Carole Kotkin: This soup is made from one of the great pleasures of spring: A wonderful pairing of rosy color and earthy tang

May 20, 2013

Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man?

Hannan Adely: Town raises Palestinian flag at City Hall

Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Morgan Housel: When smart investors do stupid things

Sharon Saloman, M.S., R.D.: Hunger games: Eat more, weigh less, without starving

Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star

The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting


Jewish World Review August 21, 2007 / 7 Elul, 5767

Houston, we have an image problem

By Malcolm Fleschner


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Today most of us don't give much thought to the space shuttle - viewing it as just one of many multibillion-dollar government expenditures offering unknown benefits to the taxpayers. Yet not too long ago the space shuttle was widely considered one of NASA's most remarkable advances, rivaling in popularity other space age innovations like the zero gravity toilet and Tang.


I still recall in 1981 being corralled, along with my 7th grade classmates, into the school library to watch the live broadcast of the Shuttle Columbia's maiden launch. As the craft became airborne, a hush fell over the class, unbroken until my friend Sean Doherty, reflecting the majesty and wonder of the moment, audibly murmured, "Who gives a s**t?"


OK, so maybe not all of us were that captivated by the space shuttle. But can you blame us? After all, my generation came of age well after man had been to the moon. We'd witnessed the spectacle of the Millennium Falcon and X-wing fighters battling it out with Imperial Destroyers and the Death Star (the nerdier among us witnessed this spectacle dozens of times). Yet we were supposed to be impressed by a NASA space ship that looked like little more than an overfed DC-10?


The other problem is with the term "Space Shuttle," which misled many of us into believing that that make lengthy intergalactic travel would soon be a thing of the past.


Coworker #1: "So, what are you doing this weekend?"
Coworker #2: "Oh, Francine and I are heading out to Alpha Centauri."
Coworker #1: "Really? But isn't that a long trip?"
Coworker #2: "No, not at all, we're taking the shuttle."


Then again, who knows, maybe the shuttle does travel to the farthest reaches of the galaxy, picking up alien life forms and, in a bit of a role reversal, subjecting them to anal probes. Frankly, like most Americans, I have very little idea what the shuttle's mission usually is or what the astronauts are doing while they're up there.


As far as I can tell, a typical shuttle mission timeline goes roughly like this:


1. To much fanfare, a shuttle launch date is announced, and then immediately scrapped because of anticipated weather trouble at Cape Canaveral.


2. Despite NASA meteorologists' ongoing concerns about "patchy early morning clouds," the shuttle manages to achieve liftoff.


3. NASA officials announce that they've discovered a previously unknown structural problem with the shuttle such as faulty t


iles, defective heat shields or a "leaky oil pan." 4. The news media nervously report that the astronauts will attempt to repair the shuttle's exterior with an unplanned and potentially risky spacewalk. Luckily, the announcers add, this crew happens to include Virgil "Bondo" Bonderman, the first auto body repair shop employee to go into space.


5. Having successfully fixed whatever was wrong with the shuttle, the astronauts are cleared for reentry. However, out of fear of a cold front, a warm front or a "front that is basically room temperature" moving toward Florida, they are redirected to land at Edwards Air Force Base in California.


6. After receiving a heroes' welcome, the astronauts are dismayed to learn that they will be billed extra for dropping off the shuttle at a site different from the original rental location.


Of course, having witnessed what can happen when things really go wrong on a shuttle mission, Americans are always relieved to see the shuttle return in one piece. But NASA isn't looking to generate relief - they want to generate excitement; they want to generate enthusiasm; they want to generate more funding! And that means coming up with novel ways to capture the public's attention. Which explains the case of astronaut Lisa Nowak, who earlier this year famously drove non-stop from Houston to Orlando, possibly while wearing adult diapers, to confront and kidnap a romantic rival for a fellow astronaut's affections.


For most of us, this behavior was shocking -not the kind of thing you ever heard about from guys like John Glenn or Neil Armstrong. But this is the new space program. Where once NASA recruited astronauts who had "The Right Stuff," today the agency is cultivating more of a "stable of the unstable" - astronauts whose mastery of space travel is only exceeded by their ability to entertain the rest of us with their bizarre and erratic behavior here on earth.


So what does the future hold for the space agency? Having achieved great visibility with the love triangle story, NASA will no doubt roll out other soap opera-inspired plots. The public should anticipate soon hearing about astronauts suffering from amnesia, being kidnapped and replaced by an evil twin, returning from the dead and, this being NASA after all, becoming impregnated by a space alien.


At least with that last story line, no one would ever again wonder just what the astronauts are "doing" up there.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.


Previously:

08/21/07: In the heat of fashion
08/09/07: Let's get in the game
06/13/07: You gonna eat that?
05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment
05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy...
04/18/07: No time like Father Time
03/15/07: Deface the Nation
03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have
02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore
12/05/06: Who's calling the shots?
11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning



© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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