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July 8, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q. Duty to save gullible from themselves?

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Islamists have the West just where they want us

JWisdom:: Putting the Spirit Back into Spirituality, Part 3: The Fully Loaded Human Being by Rabbi Dovid Gross

July 3, 2008

Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski: A spiritual budget (TOUCHING!)

Jeff Jacoby: Israel still paying for its defeat

JWisdom:: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part IV by Rabbi David Aaron

JWisdom:: The Moses Method by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

July 2, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Appeasers Make Poor Patriots

The Kosher Gourmet By Kathleen Purvis: Slaw, y'all: For BBQs or Sabbath dinner, these southern recipes are something else!

JWisdom:: Rabbi Mordechai Becher: Jewish Rx for A Simpler Life

July 1, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q. I think it's important to leave a legacy to my children. How much should I save towards this end?

Paul Greenberg:A President who is history deficient?

JWisdom:: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Poland's Unique Antisemitism

June 30, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: Remembering the architect of Torah Judaism for the modern world

Abe Novick: Hulk: Still a Jew?

JWisdom: : Putting the Spirit Back into Spirituality, Part 2: The Abandoned Child

June 26, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: Quantum leap to evil

Caroline B. Glick: Victimized families must not be allowed to dictate policy

June 25, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Today in Biblical History: King Jeroboam of Israel prevents pilgrimage to Jerusalem

Jonathan Tobin: Real Friends and Real Enemies

JWisdom: Raping of reason By Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

June 25, 2008

Steven Emerson: Kristof: Never Mind the Terrorists

Stratfor Intelligence Briefing: Mediterranean Flyover: Telegraphing an Israeli Punch?

JWisdom: Rabbi David Aaron: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part III

June 24, 2008

Caroline B. Glick: What were they thinking!?

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Guilty knowledge

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Warping Innocence

June 23, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Diploma dilemma

Jeff Jacoby: A world without children

JWisdom: Rabbi Dovid Gross: Putting the Spirit Back into Spirituality --- Introduction

June 20, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Man: The Crowning Glory of Creation

Caroline B. Glick: Israel's darkest week

JWisdom: We aren't worthy? by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

June 19, 2008

Rabbi Elazar Meisels: The saints who don't come marchin' in

Chris Christoff: Muslim woman demands an apology from Obama after camera snub

June 18, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Still Dancing Around Jerusalem

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky: Chilled fruit and vegetable soups

JWisdom: Souls Need A Check Up? by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

June 17, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: Baby Einstein

Caroline B. Glick: Bush's rhetoric, Bush's policies

JWisdom: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part II by Rabbi David Aaron

June 16, 2008

Varda Branfman: Bob Dylan, won't you please come home?

Diana West: Academic dares to question the 'religion of peace'

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Positive Backfire

June 13, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: Trading manna for whine

Caroline B. Glick: Peace with friends

JWisdom: From the mouths of … by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

June 12, 2008

Michael Feldberg: Meet Paul Revere's pal, the Orthodox Jew who played a key role in laying Boston's cultural and business infrastructure

The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Manweiler: No need to be tempted by Wendy's mandarin chicken salad

JWisdom: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part I by Rabbi David Aaron

June 11, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: What would Hillel say?

Jonathan Tobin: UNRWA and NGOs: The Real U.N. 'Insult'

JWisdom: Sara Yoheved Rigler: Greatness Made Simple: How a momentary decision shifted life's course and destination

June 6, 2008

Rabbi Pinchas Stolper: Revelation: The basis of faith

Binyamin L. Jolkovsky: Mere hours after becoming Israel's new 'best friend' Obama backtracks on status of Jerusalem

Caroline B. Glick: UN choosing to protect rogue nuclear programs

JWisdom: Sameness in difference by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

June 5, 2008

David Lightman: Now Obama wants to be Israel's newest 'best friend'

Obama's remarks to AIPAC policy conference

The Kosher Gourmet By Ethel G. Hofman: Shavous cuisine: Ruby Fruit Soup, Lokshen Kugel with Cheese, Key Lime Curd, Calsone Casserole Frittata with Wild Mushrooms, Sun-dried tomatoes and Olives, Baked Tilapia with Pepper Cheese Cream and Brown Sugar Shortbread

JWisdom: Why a Jewish Jerusalem makes so many nervous by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

June 4, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: A different sort of 'religious broadcaster'

Jonathan Tobin: Misgivings on the Road to Damascus

JWisdom: 44 Years Without An Argument? by Sara Yoheved Rigler

June 3, 2008

Daniel Pipes: Obama vs. McCain on the Middle East

Everything's Relative: There is a crisis growing in Orthodox synagogues worldwide, reveals Jordan "Gorf" Gorfinkel

JWisdom: White Facades; Black Secrets by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

June 2, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q: Lie to outsmart discriminator?

He writes the songs that make our souls sing:Gavriel Aryeh Sanders interviews Jewish music legend Ben Zion Shenker; includes stirring, uplifting song

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Of laws and lives

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review Sept. 19, 2007 / 7 Tishrei 5768

Can I have your attention, please?

By Malcolm Fleschner


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | As a proud member of the so-called "Generation X," I resent the notion that growing up in the era of MTV has somehow left all the members of my age group with a dramatically shortened attention span. Not only is this accusation patently false, but it also, um, it also, uh. wait, what was I talking about?


Oh yeah, short attention spans. OK, so maybe there's an element of truth to the criticism. But it's not our fault. Just in my lifetime, Americans' lives have become so dominated by a constant barrage of visual and auditory stimulation that it's no wonder many of us have trouble focusing.


Much of this stimulation comes in the form of TV screens, which have cropped up anywhere they can find a captive audience, including such previously private spaces as public restrooms, elevators, waiting rooms and who knows, probably confessionals too. Not surprisingly, most of these TV screens are showing advertisements. After all, why let people get lost in quiet reflection when they could instead spend the time learning about the healing power of a new hemorrhoid cream or watching that creepy old guy dance in the Six Flags commercials?


It's certainly no secret why places like 7-11 position TV screens to capture shoppers' attention as they wait in line. 7-11's entire business model depends on customers not taking a moment to reconsider whether it's such a good idea to buy that 64-ounce Jolt Cola Slurpee and chili cheese dog.


With so many entertainment options competing for our attention today, I often wonder what people did to pass the time before the advent of modern media. I imagine a family sitting around the living room in the evening and the father turning to the mother and asking, "So, what's on tonight?" before catching himself and muttering, "Oh yeah, nothing."


The inescapable conclusion is that life before TV, movies, radio and the Internet must have been extraordinarily boring. Then again, back then, boring was probably good. Being bored meant that, for example, you weren't dying a slow, miserable death from the plague and that your village wasn't being overrun by bloodthirsty Cossacks.


Interestingly, I've come to adopt this same attitude whenever I fly. If I'm bored I'm not trying to change a screaming toddler's dirty diaper in the phone booth-sized bathroom and none of the engines are bursting into flames. When the captain says we'll be sitting on the tarmac for another three hours while they try to fix a stuck Fetzer Valve, my attitude is, "Fine by me." I'll gladly busy myself taking another pass at the Skymall Catalog.


Speaking of which, does anyone ever actually buy anything from Skymall? Whenever I thumb through it, all the merchandise reminds me of that tired old movie plot where some poor shlub stands to inherit a large fortune from a long-lost relative, but the will stipulates that he first has to blow through $1 million in 24 hours and somehow come away with no tangible assets. With Skymall, I feel like you could order every air ionizer, climate-controlled pet carrier, solar-powered nose hair trimmer and countless of the catalog's other pricey gadgets and easily wind up with nothing to show for all that money except maybe two well-groomed nostrils. That and the fortune you'd inherit, of course.


Unfortunately, wills with such unusual conditions appear to exist exclusively in the world of fiction. In real life, we have to satisfy ourselves with the likes of Leona Helmsley, who recent opted to express an unequivocal middle finger to her heirs from beyond the grave by leaving a substantial sum to her dog. While setting aside $12 million for the care of her beloved Maltese, Trouble, Helmsley's will explicitly stated that two of her grandchildren were to receive nothing, "for reasons that are known to them."


First of all, Leona, way to do everything in your power to posthumously beat that bum "Queen of Mean" rap. Boy, were we wrong about you! But otherwise, well done in sticking it to your ingrate grandchildren. Sure, I would have preferred if you had instead followed another popular TV show plot device and specify that the kids could only collect their inheritance on the condition that they spend an entire night in a run down old haunted mansion, but this is still pretty good.


The only other way Helmsley could have improved her will is if there had been another, less-favored household dog she could have cut out as well: "To my toy poodle Schnitzel I leave absolutely nothing. He knows what he did. On the Persian rug. Bad dog!"


Then again, maybe the will did include a stipulation like this. I got distracted in the middle of the article and never bothered to finish reading the story. My mind does tend to wander sometimes.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.


Previously:

09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem
08/21/07: In the heat of fashion
08/09/07: Let's get in the game
06/13/07: You gonna eat that?
05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment
05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy...
04/18/07: No time like Father Time
03/15/07: Deface the Nation
03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have
02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore
12/05/06: Who's calling the shots?
11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level
10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair
10/18/06: You can't tech it with you
10/04/06: Award to the wise
08/24/06: Phrased and Confused
08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning



© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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