In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Sept. 21, 2007 / 9 Tishrei 5768, 5767

Life and ice cream in the fast lane: Husband takes the dip cone challenge

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | There are some challenges a man just can't resist. Let the records show that the husband took his stand with a chocolate dip cone in the year 2007. We are on our way to an upscale affair an hour out of town. The husband is wearing his good suit pants, a crisp white shirt and a tie, and has his suit coat in the backseat with plans to put it on once we arrive.

If there are stages of life, I am officially in the "Thirsty Stage." I don't know why. I just am.

I ask the husband if we have time to whip through a fast food joint so I can get something to drink. He says sure and maybe he'll get an ice cream cone.

"But you're wearing a white shirt," I say. I may have said it in a slightly naggy tone.

"A chocolate dip cone," he says.

"You can't eat a chocolate dip cone when you're driving and wearing a white shirt!" That one I said in a real naggy tone.

I have inadvertently issued a challenge. This is a mistake because I'm pretty sure the man was a juggler in a former life.

Every morning he takes two cups of coffee from the house to drink in the car. We have a nice travel mug but he prefers two breakable coffee cups. One to teeter on the dashboard, and one to angle sideways in the cup holder. He takes the speed bump at 30 and they never spill.

He is known to balance books six high on top on the console in the middle of the front seat. And then set a camera on top of that. He always catches them before they topple.

He stacks envelopes to be mailed on the dashboard that slopes like a ski run. He can round a corner and snag them as they slide.

"Your number is up," I snap. "Maybe when your shirt has chocolate on it you can just carry my pink purse in front of your chest. Or wear your suit coat backward."

He just smiles and orders a Diet Coke for me and a dip cone. He unfolds napkins, covers his shirt and tucks two into his collar. Cirque Du Soleil doesn't take this many precautions.

On the first bite he makes a clean break. We hang a hard right out of the lot, accelerate on the entrance ramp and hit 70 on the Interstate. Driver, cone and white shirt are still intact.

He takes another bite and the chocolate cracks down the center. The back wedge wobbles toward his chest. He bobs low and makes a mid-air catch worthy of an instant replay.

One mile later, he is down to three jagged chunks of chocolate teetering above the cone. Bing, bing, bing, he knocks them off and wolfs them down rapid fire. He turns to gloat and a big drip of ice cream smacks the napkin covering his shirt.

"What it gonna be, Big Guy? My purse or my necklace?"

He lifts the napkins. The ice cream has gone through layer one, layer two and soaked a small spot — on his tie, in the center of a dark brown paisley. It is undetectable. He thrusts his arms into a victory stance and makes a rushing air sound like thousands of dip cone fans are cheering wildly.

We arrive at our destination and exit the car. I have two big spots of Diet Coke on the bottom of my jacket.

Gravity-defying Husband: 1. Naggy Wife: 0.

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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Pass the Faith, Please" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.


© 2007, Lori Borgman