In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review Sept. 21, 2005 / 17 Elul, 5765

Suburban home is sweet indeed

By Marybeth Hicks

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The smell of coffee wafts through the house, beckoning me from my warm, soft bed to the quiet of a Sunday morning kitchen. My husband, clad in a T-shirt and the fish pajama bottoms I got him one year for his birthday, sits at the kitchen table doing what he always does on Sunday mornings — hunting for a house with acreage.

There's nothing wrong with our present home. In fact, it's great. Lots of room for all of us to spread out, space for hosting holiday gatherings, room to hide a crowd of teenagers for a surprise 16th birthday bash. It's close to our schools and our church, shopping centers and my husband's workplace. It's home sweet home. Except that my husband wants to pick up our home and drop it in the middle of a cornfield, surround it with 25 acres of densely wooded terrain and maybe even erect a fence. Neighbors? "That'd be great," he says, "as long as I couldn't see 'em."

My observation after being married more than 18 years and hanging around with other married people is that all men want acreage. There's something manly — no, primal — about the masculine yearning to drive for miles into the country, where, in the mind of a man, something like peace and quiet await his return from a hard day of hunting and gathering — picture "Pa" returning to the little house on the Prairie.

On the other hand, being a woman, I know that what women want is sidewalks. In fact, this was what I said I wanted when we purchased our first home. "You have to have sidewalks, or the kids will ride their tricycles into the street and get hit by passing cars," I reasoned.

"Not if the only cars driving down our street belong to us," he said as he searched the paper for a home with the word "desolate" in the property description.

For years, this is how the Sunday ritual has unfolded. Armed with the real estate section and a hot cup of joe, my husband seeks out a rural refuge where he fantasizes he might relocate our brood for large doses of fresh air, frog catching and exploring the deep, dark secrets of our own private "back 40." Never mind that our eldest daughter leaves for college in less than two years and our youngest child would dress that frog in pink — if ever she would touch it. He's convinced children need to grow up in the country.

I used to use logic to deter him from calling the realtor. "I need neighbors," I pointed out. "You know — neighbors? Those people you borrow eggs and sugar and ketchup from? And baby sitters. If we lived way out in the sticks, I'd have to drive a half-hour to pick up a sitter. By the time I got her back to our house, the evening would be over and it would be time to take her home again."

I think he imagined a life in which we wouldn't go out, but instead we'd stay home reading and knitting by the fire after eating a meal of fresh opossum, shot that day on our gravel driveway.

It was an argument we continued to have even after five years in our suburban tract home. We would sip our Sunday morning coffee on the pressure-treated wooden deck while the children played with their neighborhood friends (riding bikes and scooters up and down the sidewalks).

We moved again, and I don't want to say I won that debate because that would imply there was a loser. Nonetheless, the house we bought to accommodate our growing family is even closer to town (just six minutes to the school's front door, four if you catch the lights just right).

Despite the benefits of living among other people, my husband still harbors a dream that we'll find a perfect family home within shouting distance of our town, conveniently located on acreage with a pond to attract ducks and an abandoned cornfield where pheasants would feel at home until their untimely demise and roasting. I can't fault him for wanting a place designed for his ideal lifestyle.

What I like best about my husband's real estate musings is the dreaming — the fact that he can still sit in our kitchen, surrounded by the sights and sounds of a life nearly 20 years in the making — and imagine what it might be like to re-create our reality, even if it's just to relocate us to the next county.

As usual, there's not much in the paper that would suit our dual purposes. Surprisingly, no one is selling a family home on 30 acres smack in the middle of our town, so I guess we'll have to wait until next week to check the classified ads once more.

In the meantime, our conversation turns to the home we already own — the minor repairs that await our attention, the major overhauls we would do if ever we played and won the Lotto. Before long, the dreaming is done, I'm loading the coffee pot into the dishwasher, and we set about the business of hustling the family off to church.

One of these Sundays, our housing choices will be virtually unlimited. We might choose a country retreat or a bungalow on the beach or even a cool urban loft with nary a thought of school districts or closet space.

Then again, as long as we're dreaming, we could just build a sidewalk in the woods.

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JWR contributor Marybeth Hicks, a wife of 18 years and mother of four children, lives in the Midwest. She uses her column to share her perspective on issues and experiences that shape families nationwide. To comment, please click here.


© 2005, Marybeth Hicks