Jewish World Review Sept. 1, 2005 / 27 Menachem-Av, 5765
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Weather Channel quoted insurance executives Tuesday who
called Hurricane Katrina the most expensive ever. They said the
hurricane did nine billion dollars in damages to port cities from
New Orleans to Miami. Apparently the cocaine got wet.
New Orleans sent out a distress call Tuesday after Hurricane
Katrina flooded the city. Everyone wants to come to their aid. Two
hours after the hurricane was finished Los Angeles sent six
planeloads of looters to help out in any way they can.
NASA's space shuttle manufacturing plant in New Orleans was
directly in the path of Hurricane Katrina when it made landfall
Monday. The good news is, the space shuttle can still fly. The bad
news is we have no idea where it's going to land.
Governor Haley Barbour threatened looters with maximum force
in Mississippi Tuesday. They were captured on camera running out
of stores carrying merchandise. People watching the news in Los
Angeles had no idea the Lakers had made the playoffs.
Pew Research ran a poll Monday showing most Americans don't
believe Democrats are friendly to religion. The party is a bit
casual about some of the commandments. Outside the Democratic
National Headquarters is a statue of Hugh Hefner the Lawgiver.
Cindy Sheehan said Wednesday she's glad that President Bush
didn't meet with her. She said his indifference to her galvanized
the peace movement. If this had been President Bill Clinton, he
would gladly have met with her and reminded her that with the
peace movement comes the responsibility of the free love movement.
Zimbabwe banned private property on Tuesday and blocked
white farmers from fleeing the country. They are tobacco farmers
and descendants of British colonists. Zimbabwe decided to deal
with them before they marched all the indigenous people into the
The FBI vowed Monday to conduct a threat assessment of U.S.
prison inmates who converted to Islam. It should be pretty easy.
All they have to do is look up who checks out the Aviation Weekly
and the landmark flash cards from the prison library.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton