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Jewish World Review Aug. 24, 1999 /12 Elul, 5759

Debbie Schlussel

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Econophone

Viagra Can't Cure Republican E.D.

http://www.jewishworldreview.com -- BOB DOLE’S ON T.V. telling us about the terrible affliction, “E.D.,” plaguing many Americans. Does “E.D.” stand for Elizabeth Dole? If so, I agree with Mr. Dole’s diagnosis. This malady -- which has now spread to Iowa -- must be treated, and not with Viagra.

Dole is a contender again, having wound up third in the Iowa straw poll. This is what happens when we have a president like Bill Clinton. Almost any successor is an improvement.

What we don’t know about Mrs. Dole is vast, and what we do know is worrisome.

E.D.'s strange new popularity reminds me of another recently popular Republican, also a member of a minority and possessing little in the way of presidential qualifications. This fellow was the leading contender, and, like Mrs. Dole, even managed to fashion a draft committee. His name: Colin Powell.

Remember the long queues of people waiting to meet Mr. Powell, and the reporters asking them why they liked him so? Many claimed to support his positions on the issues --- but when challenged, most couldn’t name a single one. Mr. Powell’s book was also instructive, advocating affirmative action and citing racial prejudice and inequitable distribution of wealth as America’s major problems. Yet, this black American, who made it to the rank of general based on merit, was hailed in the polls by a majority of whites as the most popular presidential candidate. In fact, virtually overnight Powell became a very wealthy best-selling author. For reasons known only to him, Powell did not agree to redistribute his newly acquired wealth.

Elizabeth Dole is the white, female Colin Powell. Like Mr. Powell, we know her positions on almost nothing, and she is determined to keep it that way. During the initial stages of U.S. action in the Kosovo conflict, all prospective Republican Presidential candidates were asked their positions on U.S. action in the Kosovo conflict. Mrs. Dole’s response was, “No Position.” On a CNN broadcast, Wolf Blitzer inquired about her abortion stance. “Now, Wolf,” she responded, “Let’s leave that for another day.”

Since then, Mrs. Dole has taken more a more “definitive,” but troubling views on abortion and gun control. She has effectively wimped-out on abortion. She reasons since Congress will never ban abortion, why bother make it an issue. Worse yet is what she has stated: The need for limited gun control. If her intent is to show that a female presidential candidate can be as tough and strong as a male one can, her wimpy, spineless positions on these issues blatantly belie that notion.

The few other positions Mrs. Dole has taken are also disturbing and hypocritical. While heading a federal commission investigating female workplace advancement, for example, she, herself, coined the concept of a “glass ceiling” for women, complaining vigorously about pay inequities. Actually, when accounting for experience, education, and time off for pregnancy, women advance at the same or, even, a greater pace than men do professionally, and they make 98.1 cents for every dollar men make. The real inequity—proof that the glass ceiling isn’t so real—is that Mrs. Dole rode a glass elevator to the top, advancing so far on so little, to the point of being seen as serious Presidential timber.

Let’s face it. The only reason Mrs. Dole is where she is, is affirmative action, solely based on her status as a woman. The conventional media are infatuated with Mrs. Dole because she’s a moderate woman—not a conservative. When eminently qualified women, great conservative thinkers—such as, former UN Ambassador Jeanne Kirkpatrick or British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher — became the first to occupy their positions, they weren’t heralded by the media and conventional wisdom as female pioneers, nor greeted with the hype and hoopla, a la Mrs. Dole. Their substance, quality, and experience rendered the gender characteristic irrelevant. But for Mrs. Dole, gender is the sine qua non. There’s no substance to speak of. Her candidacy sounds like a bad movie—“Married, White Female,” or “Bride of Dole.”

A presidential candidate must have some experience, either as an elected, accountable representative committed to limited, constitutional government, or as a business leader responsible to budgets and shareholders. Mrs. Dole has neither.

E.D.: "Do I stand for
something? Good question.
Let me think it over."
E.D. is running as a political outsider. “I’m not a politician,” she protests. But this elite, Harvard grad doth protest too much. The ultimate politician and insider, she enjoyed a lifetime of taxpayer-funded and non-profit sinecures inside the Beltway.

Throughout three Republican administrations as a government bureaucrat, wielding unelected, unaccountable power, her crowning “achievement” was the Federal regulatory mandate placing brake lights on the rear windows of our cars. Lucky us—this new government intrusion, with little added safety, adds about $200 to the car price.

As president of the Red Cross, a non-profit organization with no accountability to stockholders, profit margins, and budgets, Mrs. Dole used the charitable organization as a dumping ground for high-priced consultants from her husband’s former Senate staff and failed Presidential bid. She also accepted millions in contributions from lobbyists and corporations who wanted Mr. Dole’s help in the Senate. Mrs. Dole improperly used the Red Cross’ non-profit status to compete with private sector blood banks, driving some out of business. And she claims she believes in the free market?!

Because Mrs. Dole can’t run on issue positions she doesn’t have or want us to know about, she’s running solely on " integrity", the theme of commercials she airing now in Iowa and New Hampshire. The last President to run on that theme was Jimmy Carter. Remember the Carter years? —20% inflation, economic recession, hostage crises, a “kick me” sign worn by the US internationally, anorexic defense forces, a burgeoning Communist Soviet Republic, . . ., all while Mr. Carter micro-managed the White House tennis court schedule. It takes a lot more than integrity to be a good President. Again, that’s the legacy of Clinton. Where once integrity was an absolute, given, basic requirement in a president, it’s now a campaign theme.

Mrs. Dole’s carefully orchestrated Oprah-like “talk show” at the 1996 Republican National Convention boosted her popularity. Oprah, Jerry Springer, and Rosie O’Donnell are more successful at this, but do you want any of them running the country? Mrs. Dole’s other television “event” was her leather-clad 1996 appearance on “The Tonight Show,” masquerading as a “Biker for Bob.” Does anyone remember the last president to demonstrate his “talents” on late-night TV? It was a guy in sunglasses who played the saxophone on “The Arsenio Hall Show.” He’s now known as Monica’s boyfriend. Thanks to him, we might elect Bob’s wife—President E.D.

And a little blue pill can't cure that.


JWR contributor Debbie Schlussel is a Detroit-based sports and entertainment agent, attorney and commentator. Send your comments to her by clicking here.


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©1999, Debbie Schlussel