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Jewish World Review August 23, 2010 / 13 Elul 5770 Turn Down The Stereo(types) By Malcolm Fleschner http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | If, like me, you follow the news closely (and also employ a broad definition of what constitutes "news"), you probably read about Cha Sa-Soon, the 68-year-old woman who recently passed her driver's test on the 950th try. No doubt many people reacted with relief to Ms. Sa-Soon's success, reasonably deducing that from now on we'll all experience shorter wait times at the DMV. Me, I was a bit less charitable. Because realistically, anyone who needs 950 attempts to pass a simple driver's test is undoubtedly going to be a hazard on the road. And I say this as someone who can come up with all kinds of excuses for repeated personal failings. But even I, after flunking the driving test after, say, 750 times, would have difficulty explaining away yet another blown test because of poor weather, my trick knee acting up again or the fact that I kept getting distracted by the test administrator's cheap toupee. Now, admittedly, it's unlikely that Ms. Cha's poor driving will pose a threat to most of us here in the United States, seeing as how she lives in a remote village in South Korea. But hey, I never let a contradictory fact stand in the way of an opportunity to express my righteous indignation. But what particularly struck me about this story is the way Ms. Cha, as both a terrible driver and an incredibly determined test-taker, manages to embody two common but unrelated Asian stereotypes. Although I'm going to start suspecting something is fishy about this story if I find out that she's also a black belt in karate. Now before I get myself into a lot of hot water, I should clarify that I believe these stereotypes are pernicious and I don't buy into them. But let's face it, many people do. The sad fact is that stereotypes persist even though there's no conclusive proof that they have any factual basis, much like such other widely reported but unproven phenomena as Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and the female orgasm. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Asians are actually better than average drivers, and would have long ago infiltrated the top ranks of NASCAR drivers if the racetracks had not intentionally repelled all outsiders by piping in a steady stream of Toby Keith songs. Now I will admit that, at least when it comes to other drivers, I am occasionally guilty of being judgmental. But in my defense, my prejudices are remarkably flexible. By which I mean that when I'm on the highway, if I see a sports car behind me speeding, driving erratically, tailgating and weaving in and out of traffic, when the car passes me I always look over and then, no matter who is driving, I act as though I knew exactly what kind of person I'd see behind the wheel. "What do you know - yet another cigar-smoking, heavily tattooed Franciscan nun driving like a maniac - of course." And it's not like I've never felt the sting of stereotyping myself. Why, I can't count the number of times that someone I've never met has heard that I'm a humor columnist, and just automatically assumes that I must be devastatingly handsome, have a rapier-sharp wit and live in an enormous mansion. But then these folks are inevitably disappointed when we meet and they learn that my home is actually quite modest. So we see that even purportedly "positive" stereotypes can hurt. After all, many tall people are probably terrible basketball players, not every Frenchman is a great lover, and countless nerds no doubt suffer cruel taunts from their peers because they're just not any good at Dungeons & Dragons. The unfortunate reality is that stereotypes aren't going away. Something about human nature causes us to cling to these broad, hurtful generalizations, so any efforts to persuade people to let go of their prejudices is bound to fail. Which is why I believe that reasonable people should instead adopt the opposite approach by actively spreading new, completely made up stereotypes. I suggest taking every possible opportunity to sprinkle your conversation with phrases like: • "Well, you know how those Portuguese are - they can't bowl to save their lives." • "All Florida Marlins fans are closet S&M enthusiasts - why do you think they root for a team with black and blue uniforms?" • "What, you never noticed that people with freckles make the worst ballet dancers?'" The point is to "flood the market" with so many new, utterly nonsensical prejudices that existing stereotypes get lost in the process. Then, hopefully, people will stop believing in any of them. Except the one about driving instructors and cheap toupees, that is - because that's actually true. JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here. Previously: 06/24/10: The No Roamin' Holiday 06/08/10: Parenting On A Cellular Level 05/27/10: Older? Yes. Wiser? Not Necessarily 04/19/10: The Bossman Cometh 03/25/10: The Rules of Interaction 01/09/10: A ride of passage 12/26/09: The Family Power Struggle Goes On… 10/26/09: Rapidly approaching fuddyduddy-hood 06/20/09: Waging a backyard turf war 02/20/09: The Sties Have It 04/30/09: Planning of the Apes 04/08/09: No more phoning it in 02/26/09: Tuning in to the English Channel 02/19/09: 25 AND COUNTING 02/13/09: A new life, dead ahead 01/29/09: NOW STARRING ... EVERYBODY! 01/15/09: You know the type 01/08/09: Just in time, here comes 2009 11/20/08: Hotels go for the green 11/06/08: Something does not compute 10/30/08: Early adopters tech their chances 10/21/08: Cyberspace invaders 10/21/08: Keeping up disappearances 09/17/08: Victims of math hysteria 08/07/08: My newfound sense of self (promotion) 06/24/08: Getting the brand back together 05/29/08: Phrased and confused 05/13/08: Take this job and love it 04/17/08: News you can (re)use 04/02/08: Commercial (over)load 02/20/08: An overdose of reality 02/14/08: A developing situation 01/30/08: I can tech it or leave it 01/02/08: Confessions of a coke addict 01/02/08: Our bills are due 12/13/07: Going (to lunch) once, going twice… 11/28/07: Out with the old 11/06/07: My latest pet project 11/06/07: Can't tune it out 10/23/07: Something special in the hair 09/12/07: Can I have your attention, please? 09/12/07: Houston, we have an image problem 08/21/07: In the heat of fashion 08/09/07: Let's get in the game 06/13/07: You gonna eat that? 05/08/07: That's disinter-tainment 05/02/07:You Are (not) Getting Sleepy... 04/18/07: No time like Father Time 03/15/07: Deface the Nation 03/08/07: More gifts? You shouldn't have 02/22/07: Relationships can be such a chore 12/05/06: Who's calling the shots? 11/09/06: I'm taking selling to a whole new level 10/27/06: Some skills are beyond repair 10/18/06: You can't tech it with you 10/04/06: Award to the wise 08/24/06: Phrased and Confused 08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99 07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain 05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again? 05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script 04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies 03/16/06: The day the Muzak died 02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home 02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning © 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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