In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 30, 2007 / 16 Elul, 5767

Teary lesson as daughter heads off to college

By Marybeth Hicks

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | We're taking our eldest child to college in a week. According to the schedule for move-in day sent to us by the dean of freshmen, we have 6 1/2 hours to park our car on campus, unload her belongings, cart them to her room, unpack what we can, attend two parent meetings, eat ice cream en masse with the assembled students and parents of the class of 2011 and kiss our daughter goodbye.

She's ready. We're ready. Still, ... could someone please pass me the tissues?

I'm certain Katie's prepared for this transition. We've spent the better part of 18 years nurturing and supporting her in the idea that the world is hers to explore and exploit. We didn't set limits on her future but instead urged her to seek out a plan that was right for her.

It turns out that the right plan includes attending a school some eight hours away from home.

Perhaps more important as far as our transition goes, I stalwartly have avoided sappy and emotional Lifetime TV movies just so I can keep myself from indulging my maternal instincts to clutch my baby in my arms.

Now that the day is nearly here, I won't lie. A piece of me wishes I could turn back the clock — maybe even all the way back to the days when this first child was still a bundle of possibilities and I was waddling through my first pregnant summer.

OK, I'm not wistful for the waddling, but as far as the baby was concerned, the possibilities were romantic if not limitless.

Still, after all these years, I would have thought the eventuality of our "goodbye" would have occurred to me, but it turns out I imagined everything but the moment that will matter most.

I have reviewed the images in my mind time and again. I can see us loading and unloading the boxes and crates and bags into and out of my van. I can see myself trekking up two flights of stairs to the second floor of Katie's dorm, helping her assemble her bunk bed, suggesting a good place for the refrigerator and microwave.

I can see my husband and me sitting in the parent orientation session, nodding and smiling with all the other moms and dads.

I even can picture Katie turning away, walking through the front door of her dorm, joining with her hall mates and immersing herself in a college adventure that leads her to adulthood and a life of her own design.

The only part I can't imagine is how it will feel to drive away.

For months I have been telling myself this is only college. For heaven sake, going away to college is what people do — heck, it's what I did. It will create a separation between us, but a good one, a healthy distance away from her family in which Katie can continue to become the woman she's meant to be.

Leaving is the first step in every journey, after all. Even in my most nostalgic moments, I'm certain my daughter is as ready to begin this new journey as any young woman can be.

I guess what I never contemplated as I daydreamed about sending her off to college was that her departure would begin a new journey for me, too. It's a milestone in my life as a mother.

It's time to recognize that though my daughter still needs me, she needs something different than I have offered up to now — a style that reflects her emerging maturity and independence.

She needs my confidence in her ability to make her own decisions and carve her own path. She needs my interest, my enthusiasm, my support, but not my instruction or advice every step of the way. She needs more questions than answers, more thoughtful silence than brainstorming.

For all these years, she has sought out my help and I have given it freely in the belief that helping her was the way to be a good mom. I know the best help I can give her now is to stand back and watch as she flutters and flaps her way out of the nest we have shared for so long.

It's only college, but even if the changes in our relationship reflect our success in bringing her to this point, there's no denying we won't ever be the quite the same.

I expect from here on, when Katie comes home, her stays will be temporary and well-defined — visits to keep us connected, but not a return to a past we couldn't replicate or repeat.

There's no way to recapture the baby girl I held in my arms all those years ago or, for that matter, to recapture the young mom who held her. Her childhood is gone, a series of loving memories and stories and experiences that bind us in a past we'll always hold dear.

That's as it should be, of course.

Yet knowing it's time to start a new journey as mother and daughter doesn't make it any easier to take that first step.

So I don't imagine what it will feel like to drive away from the campus and leave her behind to make a life for herself. Instead, I only imagine that I'll hold both my husband's hand and a box of tissues, and together, we'll head home to a family that still needs everything we can offer, and more.

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"The Perfect World Inside My Minivan -- One mom's journey through the streets of suburbia"  

Marybeth Hicks offers readers common-sense wisdom in dealing with today's culture. Her anecdotes of her husband and four children tap into universal themes that every parent can relate to and appreciate. -- Wesley Pruden, Editor-in-Chief, The Washington Times
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JWR contributor Marybeth Hicks, a wife of 20 years and mother of four children, lives in the Midwest. She uses her column to share her perspective on issues and experiences that shape families nationwide. To comment, please click here.


© 2007, Marybeth Hicks