In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review August 1, 2007 / 17 Menachem-Av, 5767

‘You look great...for your age!’

By Marybeth Hicks

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | I guess I have to accept that it was a compliment. It was a compliment. I know it was meant to be, anyway. But still.

There's a certain sting when a single, professional woman of about 30 gushes, "Oh my gosh, you're 46? Wow. I hope I look half as good as you do when I'm your age."

It's nice to look good. It's disconcerting to look good for your age.

Still, there's no getting around it. My late 40s are well under way, drawing me toward greater self-awareness than I'm accustomed to exhibiting.

For example, I just bought a fitness magazine — one that features a six-week plan to eliminate belly fat. In the past, to eliminate belly fat, I just used to have a baby.

I find myself glancing at news articles about the latest discoveries in the study of perimenopause. Worse, I actually just used the word perimenopause in a sentence.

I no longer imagine that I would use a cash windfall to augment certain body parts (not that I ever seriously considered this). Rather, I imagine I would use a cash windfall to have the varicose veins removed from my legs.

I use night cream. I use it during the day.

Previously, I was one of those women who worked hard to cultivate a summer tan. I'd spread my fingers and toes under the hot July sunshine, wondering what all the fuss was about overexposure to ultraviolet rays.

Now I'm one of those women who wears a hat at the pool along with oversized sunglasses and sunscreen made especially for babies, providing 250 percent protection against the sun's harmful rays (in case 100 percent protection isn't quite enough). If some is good, more is better.

I'm considering buying a tube of zinc for my nose, and I don't care if it makes me look like a Miami retiree.

Lest you conclude I'm just a vain and shallow woman caught up in the superficialities of appearance in the culture of youth, I have just one thing to say: Um ... well ... sigh.

To be clear, I don't have unrealistic expectations about the aging process. It's happening as it should, and, yes, it beats the alternative.

Besides, I wouldn't want to look like a thirtysomething mom anymore, especially because appearing freakishly young would create some weird assumptions when, in a couple of weeks, I take my eldest daughter off to college. I'm always suspect of those women who look so young you almost can't tell who's the mom and who's the kid. (Remember the country duo the Judds? That was just wrong.)

I guess what I didn't expect is how much effort it would take to stay in the game. Turns out it's much more difficult than it used to be just to buy the same size bluejeans from year to year.

Actually, the issue of women and aging is part science, part religion.

Scientifically, it appears we women are afforded only so many years of an active metabolism. After about age 45, metabolic activity slows to the pace of molasses in winter. Also, gravity begins to pull a woman's skin toward the surface of the Earth and away from the surface of her face.

The part that's religion? The part where you pray, "Lord, please let me zip these jeans."

Of course, exercise and a proper diet are the keys to staying young and fit. I never had to think about either one when my children were very young. I carbo-loaded on boxed macaroni and cheese because simply getting the children bathed and off to bed constituted a heavy workout.

Now I go to bed before most of my children because I have to get up at 7 to go for a 40-minute power walk. Then it's time to start drinking the gallons of water recommended by all the best diet programs. (You must finish the water intake before dinner or else you're up all night, for obvious reasons. If you needed this explained to you, you're not yet 45).

This is just what it takes to care for an aging female body — but maybe it also is what it means to look good for one's age.

Knowing and accepting that time marches on, we recognize that we're responsible for our health, our well-being and the frequency with which we visit the colorist for highlights to cover the gray.

If I think about it too much, I suppose I could choose to be offended by the backhanded compliment paid to me by my younger friend, but I'm getting too old to think about things too much.

Instead, I decided to use her kind words as incentive to keep fighting the good fight. I'm tackling 10 pounds and rekindling my relationship with the man who stocks the produce section of the grocery store.

After all, there are two things that give me comfort, no matter how much it hurts to realize that a full-grown adult said I look good for my age.

First, that lovely 30-year-old gal will be my age faster than she can say "glucosamine and chondroitin." She may think it's a world away, but I know better.

Second, I've still got a great neck, and as I've always said, if a gal has a great neck, she has everything. That's the sort of wisdom you can only gain with the passing of time.

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"The Perfect World Inside My Minivan -- One mom's journey through the streets of suburbia"  

Marybeth Hicks offers readers common-sense wisdom in dealing with today's culture. Her anecdotes of her husband and four children tap into universal themes that every parent can relate to and appreciate. -- Wesley Pruden, Editor-in-Chief, The Washington Times
Sales help fund JWR.

JWR contributor Marybeth Hicks, a wife of 20 years and mother of four children, lives in the Midwest. She uses her column to share her perspective on issues and experiences that shape families nationwide. To comment, please click here.


© 2007, Marybeth Hicks