
 |
|
Nov, 21, 2008
Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Money matters?
Caroline B. Glick:
Civilization walks the plank
Nov, 20, 2008
Rabbi Avi Shafran: Bronfman's blindness
The Kosher Gourmet
By Linda Gassenheimer: Portobellos add a hearty flavor to pasta with pesto
Nov, 19, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Spread the wealth? Jewish tradition and income equality
Elliot B. Gertel:
'Mad Men': Tackling prejudices or reinforcing them?
Nov, 18, 2008
Dr. Debby Schwarz Hirschhorn: The End of the Age of Reason
Jonathan Tobin: Does Barack + Bibi = Disaster?
Nov, 17, 2008
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The End of the Age of Reason
Diana West: Gulling Americans into making terror legit?
Nov, 14, 2008
Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: The Power of Spiritual Inertia
Caroline B. Glick: The perils ahead
Nov, 13, 2008
Stratfor Intelligence Briefing: How Bush and Obama together could change the Middle East dynamic
The Kosher Gourmet
by JeanMarie Brownson: Sweet and savory, crispy and meltingly tender bestilla
Nov, 12, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : Tyrannical Co-Workers
Michael Doyle: High Court to consider today donated monuments that may have religious messages in public parks
Nov, 11, 2008
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Will Obama stop government officials considering institutionalizing financial jihad?
Jonathan Tobin: They Will Decide Their Own Fate
Nov, 10, 2008
Rabbi Avi Shafran: $8 billion, modern-day Tower of Babel being built?
Barry Rubin: A letter to the president-elect from a Middle East realist
Nov, 7, 2008
Rabbi Francis Nataf: Of Children and Immortality
Caroline B. Glick: Livni's Obama strategy
Nov, 6, 2008
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: How I tricked a classroom of apathetic students into grasping the fallacy of moral relativism
The Kosher Gourmet
By Gina Kim: Tips for making the perfect soup --- includes recipes
Nov, 5, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Destitute Debtors
Bruce Weinstein: 'Religulos': Bad title,even worse movie
Nov, 4, 2008
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Treasury Dept. submits to Shariah law
Frida Ghitis: A surprise for Obama in the Middle East
Nov, 3, 2008
Jonathan Rosenblum: Who says Jews are Smart?
Jonathan Tobin:
Was He Wrong About Everything?
Oct. 31, 2008
Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Our Immutable Noble Essence
Caroline B. Glick: Running against Bush
Oct. 30, 2008
Jonathan Rosenblum: The End of the Special Relationship?
Steve Lipman: 'Kid Kosher' Gets A Title Shot
Oct. 29, 2008
Binyamin L. Jolkovsky: GET US THE TAPE THE L.A. TIMES REFUSES TO RELEASE, AND WE'LL GIVE YOU CASH!
Dr. Ari Korenblit: Making The Write Choice for President
Oct. 28, 2008
Mona Charen: Denial runs through American Jewry
Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Sell-off to capitalism or sell-out to Islam?
Oct. 27, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Are tax deductions for charitable donations moral?
Jonathan Mark: The Mystery Of The Arab-American Vote
Oct. 24, 2008
'Why aren't all religious people vegetarians?': Response by Miriam Kosman
Caroline B. Glick: Testing Obama's mettle
Oct. 23, 2008
Daniel Pipes: Obama Would Fail Security Clearance
The Kosher Gourmet
by Linda Gassenheimer: A fast chicken dish with an Asian accent
Oct. 20, 2008
Gary Rosenblatt: Still One Torah
Jonathan Tobin:
Government 'Gifts' Are Not Free
Oct. 17, 2008
Jonathan Rosenblum: Sukkos and the Great Meltdown
Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of law
Oct. 16, 2008
The Jewish Ethicist
by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Copying DVDs: RIP OR RIPOFF?
Cal Thomas: Blaming the Jews (again)
March 22, 2007
J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)
|
| |
Jewish World Review
August 9, 2006
/ 15 Menachem-Av, 5766
We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
By
Malcolm Fleschner
| 
|
|
|
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
When throwing a party for young children, parents enjoy a wide variety of themes to
choose from. Traditionalists will opt for old standards like pirates, fairy
princesses or dinosaurs. The kids themselves, however, as well-trained consumers of
children's entertainment, tend to prefer such wholesome commercial themes as The
Little Mermaid, Spongebob Squarepants and Mortal Kombat VII: Blood Reckoning.
Truthfully, for many parents these days, the party's theme is not the primary
consideration. More important is using the party to convey a clear underlying
message, which is, "Look How Much Money We Have." For these parents, merely hiring a
magician is hardly sufficient. No, their little angel's party must also feature - at
a minimum - bouncy houses, pony rides, professional jugglers, fire-eaters, a team of
shiatsu massage therapists, the USC marching band and a live feed of the astronauts
aboard the Space Shuttle singing "Happy Birthday" to the guest of honor. Often today
the only way to tell the difference between a young child's birthday party and the
Summer Olympics Opening Ceremonies is that most guests at a children's party are not
required to furnish a urine sample.
Another popular kid party trend these days is hiring a mobile petting zoo to set up
a caged-in area where ducks, rabbits, goats and chickens can poop all over your
lawn. From what I can tell, the way it works is, before opening the gate to the pen,
the attendant solemnly instructs the kids that the animals need to be treated gently
and don't appreciate being chased, grabbed or picked up. Then he opens the gate and
cuts out for a cigarette, at which point the kids all scramble in to chase, grab and
pick up the hapless animals. And since the poor creatures probably go through this
routine twice a day every weekend, the ironic result is a corral full of baby ducks
and rabbits conditioned to peck and bite any child in range.
But when you're talking about parents going overboard for children's parties, you
can't avoid mentioning Long Island tycoon David H. Brooks, who recently spent $10
million to hire, among others, Stephen Tyler and Joe Perry of Aerosmith, rapper 50
Cent and saxophonist Kenny G. to perform at his daughter's Bat Mitzvah. Now I know
what you hip teenagers reading this are thinking: "That's outrageous! Why waste
money on Aerosmith or 50 Cent when the kids are only going to want to see smooth
jazz legend Kenny G.?"
I admit to scratching my head over the notion of a kid's party with a higher price
tag than, say, the cost of rebuilding New Orleans. I was raised in an era (the
Pleistocene) when a child's birthday party consisted of a game of
pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey (and, unless he was quick, pin-the-tail-on-the-dog)
followed by cake and presents. The closest thing we had to a fire-eater was when my
friend Billy Mezzetti burned his eyebrows trying to swipe a taste of birthday cake
while I was blowing out the candles.
But turning a fire extinguisher on a friend's face wasn't our only entertainment. At
my mom's parties the highlight was always when my friends and I tried to guess how
many jelly beans were contained in a half-gallon mason jar. Whoever came closest got
to take the jar home. Or, more precisely, got to try to spirit the jar out of the
house while a dozen eight-year-old boys riding a serious frosting buzz assaulted him
like a horde of refugees tearing into a UN food delivery truck.
Now that our daughter is turning four, my wife and I are courageously bucking the
trend toward lavish, costly birthday parties. Not only do we strongly believe that
such events are tacky and send the wrong message to children, but we also feel that
kids should know how to amuse themselves and not need to be entertained constantly.
Plus we don't have the money.
And so, while my wife spent the past week cleaning, preparing food, making
decorations and coming up with ideas for games and activities, I've taken charge of
the kids' craft project. I haven't told my wife yet, but the children won't be doing
the usual fingerpainting, spin art, or paper crown decorating projects. Instead,
thanks to my exciting "Kids Around The Globe," theme, our young partygoers will
experience a taste of what life is like for disadvantaged children abroad by
spending 11 hours in the basement hand-stitching inseams into Nike cross-trainers.
Hey, since when is teaching kids a valuable lesson a bad thing? And if it helps
defray some of the costs of throwing the party, so much the better, I say.
Besides, I'm not a complete ogre. Unlike some parents, I would never force the kids
who come to our party listen to Kenny G.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.
Previously:
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning
© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner
|
|

Mitch Albom
Michael Barone
Dave Barry
Tony Blankley
Andy Borowitz
David Broder
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Rod Dreher
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
John Fund
Frank J. Gaffney
Lloyd Garver
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
David Harsanyi
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Laura Ingraham
Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
James Klurfeld
Ed Koch
Ch. Krauthammer
Jonathan Last
Michael Ledeen
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
The Medicine Men
Dick Morris
Bill O'Reilly
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Jonathan Rauch
Celia Rivenbark
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Pat Sajak
Debra J. Saunders
Culture Shlock
Roger Simon
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Jonathan Tobin
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
Lisa Benson
John Branch
Gary Brookins
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holber
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Ranan R. Lurie
Jimmy Margulies
Rick McKee
Michael Ramirez
Jeff Stahler
Danna Summers
John Trever
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters

How 2
Lori Borgman
The Savvy Consumer
Elder matters
Fixit
Dr. Peter Gott
Marybeth Hicks
GET A JOB! by Marty Nemko
Richard Lederer
Tech Maven
Nutrition Myths
Bruce Williams
How Stuff Works
|