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Nov. 6, 2009
Rabbi Berel Wein: Choosing to hear
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Suzanne Fields A Fallen Wall for Fallen Man
Nov. 5, 2009
The Kosher Gourmet: Three scrumptious -- but simple -- butternut squash dishes
JWisdom.com Hidden Hints: Unlocking Faith & Prayer with Rabbi Jay Yaacov Schwartz (10 minutes)
Nov. 4, 2009
Tom Hamburger and Kim Geiger: Should prayers be covered?
JWisdom.com When God played peacemaker With Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Nov. 3, 2009
Martin Peretz: Beware, Barack. Beware, Rahm. Beware, Axelrod
JWisdom.com Are you are closet idolater? With Sara Yoheved Rigler (10 minutes)
Nov. 2, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The Holocaust is now on Facebook
JWisdom.com Abraham's Strange Change With Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer (5 minutes)
Oct. 30, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Secret to Immortality
Caroline B. Glick Silencing dissent in America
Oct. 29, 2009
Lini S. Kadaba: Do tactics avert flu or reduce humanity?
JWisdom.com We Must Revamp our Religious Vocabulary With Gavriel Aryeh Sanders ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 28, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Atheists in Bubbleland
JWisdom.com Why what we wear impacts who we are With Rabbis Mordechai Becher, Menachem Golberger and Aliza Bulow ( 10 minutes)
Oct. 27, 2009
Paul Greenberg: The United Nations Is Outraged Again, Or: Department of Mideast Static
JWisdom.com The Science of Love With Rabbi Jonathan Rietti ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 26, 2009
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Damaging disclosures with a twist
JWisdom.com Wisdom and Wonks With Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 23, 2009
Rabbi David Aaron: Are you ready for the ultimate pleasure?
JWisdom.com Watermark and oneness with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 4 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick Stop using limited powers in a way that expands our enemies' advantages over us
Oct. 22, 2009
Steven Emerson: Terror Cases Share Desire to Kill Americans
JWisdom.com No More More Family Fights --- Really? By Sarah Chana Radcliffe ( 5 minutes)
Oct. 21, 2009
Tonya Alanez: Holocaust denier sues survivor, calling Auschwitz memoir 'vicious lies'
JWisdom.com Meditating Jewishly: A Panacea for Success by Sarah Yoheved Rigler ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 20, 2009
Dennis Prager: Obama and Dalai Lama: Why Israel Worries about U.S. President
JWisdom.com Abraham was not religious By Rabbi Yitzchok Fingerer ( 6 minutes)
Oct. 19, 2009
JWisdom.comWhy Good People Do Bad Things By Rabbi Eytan Feiner ( 7 minutes)
Oct. 16, 2009
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The Perfect Number
JWisdom.com Hearing Voices By Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick How Turkey was lost
Oct. 15, 2009
Jeff Jacoby: Peace vs. the 'peace process'
JWisdom.com: Former MTV producer and stand-up comedian Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff: Taming a Control Freak (A VERY fast 15 minutes)
Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review August 24, 2006 / 30 Menachem-Av, 5766

Phrased and Confused

By Malcolm Fleschner


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The newspaper industry comes in for a lot of criticism, but no one can question our commitment to recycling. For one thing, we publish on paper that is easily repurposed, whether into other paper products, bird cage lining or a rolled up tool to discourage the dog from soiling the hall carpet. Why, we even recycle the material inside the paper by reprinting many of the same stories year after year, merely changing the names and dates where appropriate. It's a real time-saver when we can simply cut and paste our most frequently used headlines like "Mideast Peace Talks Break Down," "Congressman Denies Corruption Charge" and "Former Child Star Arrested."


My favorite such "déjà vu story" would have to be the controversy that inevitably erupts every time a state tourism bureau asks residents for help coming up with a new state slogan. Just this past year we've seen lengthy campaigns that resulted in new slogans like Indiana's racing-themed "Restart Your Engines," Utah's lofty "Life Elevated," Pennsylvania's deliciously irrelevant "I Brake for Shoo-fly Pie" and Washington's inexplicable "Say WA!" So why do states make such a fuss over their slogans? I think it's simple — because state tourism bureau employees clearly understand that state residents who are concerning themselves with a new slogan are state residents who are not concerning themselves with all the tax dollars being wasted by the state tourism bureau.


New Jersey's recent effort was typical. After receiving thousands of entries, officials narrowed the options to five, and then put it out to a statewide vote. The eventual winner was "New Jersey: Come See For Yourself," which barely beat out challengers like "New Jersey: The Best Kept Secret," "New Jersey: Expect The Unexpected" and "New Jersey: What The %#$& Are You Lookin' At?"


Whatever choice they make, states regularly come in for criticism from residents who feel that a new slogan won't actually do anything to encourage tourism. Truthfully, has anyone ever made vacation travel plans based on a state slogan ("Honey, I know you wanted to go to Tahiti this year, but at least according to this brochure, North Carolina is "A better place to be")?


That doesn't mean slogans are meaningless, however. Why, just imagine what our nation's cultural identity would be without the historically significant phrases we all remember like "Give me liberty or give me death," "Remember the Alamo," and "You're not fully clean until you're Zest-fully clean."


I'm also sympathetic to prospective sloganeers because I understand the challenge involved in trying to get a new slogan to catch on with the public. A few years ago I tried to persuade everyone I knew to employ my clever signature phrase, "That really burns my bagel," as a means of expressing frustration. Sadly, my efforts at coining a new catch phrase failed. In retrospect, I could point to any number of reasons for my failure (lack of properly targeted marketing, shortage of funds, a stupid idea to begin with, etc.) but the biggest is that I rarely even used the phrase myself. In fact, the only time I ever remembered was on mornings when I happened to — you guessed it - burn my bagel. If only I'd thought to install a webcam over my toaster, I might well have inspired the next "Wazzzzup!"


But getting back to New Jersey, the state's slogan woes only worsened when someone discovered that "Come See For Yourself" had already been used by other states, including West Virginia. Having abandoned the phrase to avoid potential legal issues, New Jersey finds itself slogan-less. Experts estimate that this deficiency may be costing the state dozens of tourist dollars every day. But not to worry, New Jersey residents, because I have a simple solution. And no, it's not "New Jersey: That really burns my bagel." Although at least they'd know that one hadn't been used before.


Instead, my suggestion is to take a cue from the newspaper industry and recycle. Find an old slogan that no one's using anymore, preferably one that's already associated with a celebrity, and redeploy it in service of your state. I guarantee that for a fraction of what was spent on the old slogan, the Garden State could hire Jimmy "J.J." Walker for a huge multimedia campaign of "New Jersey: It's Dy-No-Mite!" Or how about Blossom's Joey Lawrence's face on billboards across the country exclaiming "New Jersey: Whoa!" And what prospective tourist could resist the temptation to find out in person the answer to Gary Coleman's rhetorical question, "What'choo talkin' 'bout, Jersey?"


Ideally, New Jersey would use all of these campaigns. Not only would the state save precious tax dollars, but they'd also perform a valuable service by keeping many of the nation's former child stars out of the criminal justice system. At least until the next round of Mideast peace talks, anyway.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.


Previously:

08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning



© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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