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Oct. 10, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: The limitations of scientific miracles

Caroline B. Glick: Lebanon on the brink --- and why it matters

Oct. 8, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: The day when the sane talk to themselves

Ana Veciana-Suarez: Many nonobservant Jews are finding religion

Oct. 7, 2008

Gary Rosenblatt: Of politics and prayer

Caroline B. Glick: The ironies of the West's collusion with the Arabs and Iran

Oct. 6, 2008

Rabbi Yitzchok R. Rubin: Mamma to the masses

Jonathan Tobin: Ahmadinejad Isn't Too Impressed

Oct. 3, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: The 'living dead' are all around us

Caroline B. Glick: Olmert's parting blows

Oct. 2, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q: Often customers looking for our competitor accidentally enter our store. Can we just serve them without comment?

Jonathan Tobin: Jewish pundit quiz on next year's news

Sept. 29, 2008

Rabbi Eli Gewirtz: Lehman Brothers and the Day of Judgment

Rabbi Leiby Burnham: Apples, Honey and You

Sept. 26, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The shofar and the Echo of Sinai

Caroline B. Glick: A road paved on reality

Sept. 24, 2008

Greg Crosby: Home for the Holy Days

Ethel G. Hofman: Rosh Hashanah Favorites: Old-fashioned taste, reduced calories

Sept. 23, 2008

Caroline Glick: Liberalism or lives!?

Michael Ledeen: Dear President Ahmadinejad

Sept. 22, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q: I gave a check to a local merchant, but it hasn't been cashed in months. Probably they lost it. Do I have to tell them?

Diana West: We are losing Europe to Islam

Sept. 19, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: On harvesting success

Caroline B. Glick: It is time to act

Sept. 18, 2008

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Is camping the panacea to save Jewry from self-destruction?

Craig Gordon: Was SNL hilarity too much for Hillary?

Sept. 17, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: The Whole World Is Watching

The Kosher Gourmet By Linda Gassenheimer: East meets Southwest in this quick meal: MEXICAN-ASIAN TOSTADOS

Sept. 16, 2008

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr. : Into the fire

Everything's Relative : Your Official Jewish Guide to the 2008 USA Presidential Election

Sept. 15, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Enabling risky behavior

Diana West: A day that will live in ... accommodating Islam

Sept. 11, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: The skeleton in my closet

Rabbi Yechiel Eckstein: Persecution and systematic destruction of Christians in the Middle East must be stopped

Sept. 10, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: There's Something About Sarah

The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Manweiler: Who needs Chili's when you have these? Recipes for Mexican that taste great and are dietetic! Our commitment to freedom

Sept. 9, 2008

Daniel Pipes: Must counterinsurgency wars fail?

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.:

Sept. 8, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: How far must one go to help somebody out of a contract?

Barry Rubin: Waiting For Something

Sept. 8, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir : How far must one go to help somebody out of a contract?

Barry Rubin: Waiting For Something

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review August 24, 2006 / 30 Menachem-Av, 5766

Phrased and Confused

By Malcolm Fleschner


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The newspaper industry comes in for a lot of criticism, but no one can question our commitment to recycling. For one thing, we publish on paper that is easily repurposed, whether into other paper products, bird cage lining or a rolled up tool to discourage the dog from soiling the hall carpet. Why, we even recycle the material inside the paper by reprinting many of the same stories year after year, merely changing the names and dates where appropriate. It's a real time-saver when we can simply cut and paste our most frequently used headlines like "Mideast Peace Talks Break Down," "Congressman Denies Corruption Charge" and "Former Child Star Arrested."


My favorite such "déjà vu story" would have to be the controversy that inevitably erupts every time a state tourism bureau asks residents for help coming up with a new state slogan. Just this past year we've seen lengthy campaigns that resulted in new slogans like Indiana's racing-themed "Restart Your Engines," Utah's lofty "Life Elevated," Pennsylvania's deliciously irrelevant "I Brake for Shoo-fly Pie" and Washington's inexplicable "Say WA!" So why do states make such a fuss over their slogans? I think it's simple — because state tourism bureau employees clearly understand that state residents who are concerning themselves with a new slogan are state residents who are not concerning themselves with all the tax dollars being wasted by the state tourism bureau.


New Jersey's recent effort was typical. After receiving thousands of entries, officials narrowed the options to five, and then put it out to a statewide vote. The eventual winner was "New Jersey: Come See For Yourself," which barely beat out challengers like "New Jersey: The Best Kept Secret," "New Jersey: Expect The Unexpected" and "New Jersey: What The %#$& Are You Lookin' At?"


Whatever choice they make, states regularly come in for criticism from residents who feel that a new slogan won't actually do anything to encourage tourism. Truthfully, has anyone ever made vacation travel plans based on a state slogan ("Honey, I know you wanted to go to Tahiti this year, but at least according to this brochure, North Carolina is "A better place to be")?


That doesn't mean slogans are meaningless, however. Why, just imagine what our nation's cultural identity would be without the historically significant phrases we all remember like "Give me liberty or give me death," "Remember the Alamo," and "You're not fully clean until you're Zest-fully clean."


I'm also sympathetic to prospective sloganeers because I understand the challenge involved in trying to get a new slogan to catch on with the public. A few years ago I tried to persuade everyone I knew to employ my clever signature phrase, "That really burns my bagel," as a means of expressing frustration. Sadly, my efforts at coining a new catch phrase failed. In retrospect, I could point to any number of reasons for my failure (lack of properly targeted marketing, shortage of funds, a stupid idea to begin with, etc.) but the biggest is that I rarely even used the phrase myself. In fact, the only time I ever remembered was on mornings when I happened to — you guessed it - burn my bagel. If only I'd thought to install a webcam over my toaster, I might well have inspired the next "Wazzzzup!"


But getting back to New Jersey, the state's slogan woes only worsened when someone discovered that "Come See For Yourself" had already been used by other states, including West Virginia. Having abandoned the phrase to avoid potential legal issues, New Jersey finds itself slogan-less. Experts estimate that this deficiency may be costing the state dozens of tourist dollars every day. But not to worry, New Jersey residents, because I have a simple solution. And no, it's not "New Jersey: That really burns my bagel." Although at least they'd know that one hadn't been used before.


Instead, my suggestion is to take a cue from the newspaper industry and recycle. Find an old slogan that no one's using anymore, preferably one that's already associated with a celebrity, and redeploy it in service of your state. I guarantee that for a fraction of what was spent on the old slogan, the Garden State could hire Jimmy "J.J." Walker for a huge multimedia campaign of "New Jersey: It's Dy-No-Mite!" Or how about Blossom's Joey Lawrence's face on billboards across the country exclaiming "New Jersey: Whoa!" And what prospective tourist could resist the temptation to find out in person the answer to Gary Coleman's rhetorical question, "What'choo talkin' 'bout, Jersey?"


Ideally, New Jersey would use all of these campaigns. Not only would the state save precious tax dollars, but they'd also perform a valuable service by keeping many of the nation's former child stars out of the criminal justice system. At least until the next round of Mideast peace talks, anyway.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Malcolm Fleschner is a humor columnist for The DC Examiner. Let him know what you think by clicking here.


Previously:

08/09/06: We're Gonna Party Like it's $19.99
07/19/06: Just Singing in the Brain
05/24/06: Who says you can't go home again?
05/11/06: When nightly news stories go off script
04/26/06: Cents and sensibility: A thought for your pennies
03/16/06: The day the Muzak died
02/23/06: Checkbook diplomacy begins at home
02/15/06: Today's toys: Where learning means earning



© 2006, Malcolm Fleschner

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