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Jewish World Review August 24, 2005 / 19 Av, 5765 Summer has its own special flavor By Lenore Skenazy
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
Exactly why has Dunkin' Donuts taken out huge billboards to advertise its Blueberry Iced Coffee? Does it really think this will have customers running in? Can the number of people who run to a blueberry coffee be anywhere near the number of people who run away, greenish?
Yo, Dunkin' Dodos! The blueberries go in the MUFFINS!
And as for the marshmallow iced coffee, all I can say is: Save that bag your donut came in. You may need it.
But then again, this is summer, when anything cold and slurpy will usually find an audience. Just ask Baskin-Robbins, where one of this season's flavors is SPF31 — yes, an ice cream actually named for sunscreen, the most detested part of the summer experience. If you have a child who submits willingly to sunscreen — or sun scream, as we call it in our house — please FedEx me a toenail clipping so I can start the lucrative cloning process.
Then again, SPF31 is not necessarily Baskin-Robbins' most disturbing seasonal offering. For alongside blue raspberry sherbet and a shamelessly over the top chocolate fudge/chocolate mousse/chocolate ice cream/chocolate bits mishmash, the company is offering Bumble Buzz, probably the world's first ice cream to feature chocolate-coated honeycomb pieces.
Goodness, were there no hornets' nests available? All out of sugar-coated ant hills? Maybe next year.
There are clearly very few limits when it comes to inventing cold summer stuff. And not a whole lot of protest from the public, either. Any public that can sit through "Must Love Dogs" can down a pint of Flabby Tabby, or whatever the market is going to foist upon us next. That's why I am surprised we have yet to see these seasonal offerings:
In the tradition of Chubby Hubby — a real, honest-to-god flavor by Ben and Jerry's featuring fudge-covered peanut butter-filled pretzels — I predict, Obese's Pieces: Peanut butter ice cream rich with candy, fudge, potato chips and swirls of real dip. And Take Me Out to the Ball Gum: Peanuts, popcorn and Bazooka bits in creamy frozen beer.
And next from Dunkin' Donuts? Watermelon Iced Coffee! Choose from regular and seedless.
Also, Kumquat Iced Coffee. "It can't be worse than blueberry!" And Tomato Iced Coffee: "It's not that much worse than kumquat!"
Come into Baskin-Robbins, kids, for your free taste of Waxy Fantaxy: Honeycomb ice cream with extra wax. Coppertone Caper: Now with REAL sunscreen. Come to think of it, maybe we should all enjoy the silly flavors of summer while we can.
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JWR contributor Lenore Skenazy is a columnist for The New York Daily News. Comment by clicking here. © 2005, NY Daily News |
Arnold Ahlert | |||||||||||
