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Jewish World Review August 16, 2005 / 11 Av, 5765 NASA should set its sights a bit lower By Lenore Skenazy http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Discovery touched down in the California desert last week, one day and 3,000 miles from where and when it was scheduled to land. Which sounds a lot less like the glory of intergalactic travel and a lot more like the pain of flying coach. Another delay. Another airport. No, we cannot put you on an earlier flight. No, we do not serve food. Well, I guess the astronauts got food. But I'll bet the movie was just awful. So maybe it's time to face the fact that space travel is just a lot less glamorous than it was back when we got to watch spacewalks during actual school time. That was a great era. Now an astronaut schleps his Craftsman tools through zero gravity, does unprecedented repair work that possibly saves the entire mission, heads back to the commander who is a woman, for gosh sakes, while in classrooms all over America, bright-eyed kids play poker on their cell phones. Glad as Americans are that the astronauts came home safe and sound, I don't know anyone who felt particularly stirred when Commander Eileen Collins pleaded from the Mojave: "Please support us!" She said shuttle missions are making life "better for all of us in this country and around the world." Oh yeah? How, exactly? Lately, the experiments on the shuttle have seemed straight out of "My First Outer Space Science Kit." Astronauts have studied how spiders behave in microgravity, I guess in case we ever find any flies out there. They've studied slime mold, which they could have done right in my kitchen, and how snail embryos grow in space. Snail embryos! Can you think of anything less exciting? NASA did: They also studied Japanese carp in space. Not how Japanese carp in space ("This capsule's smaller than my Mazda!") Actual carp. Gefilte fish, pre-jar. This most recent mission's crew met up with the International Space Station in part to take out its garbage. Then they hauled it back to Earth. Just what we need more of. To be fair, NASA has also given us earthlings quite a few items we use every day. Not Tang and Velcro — that's just an urban (interplanetary?) myth. But thanks to NASA we do have the Dustbuster — modeled on a vacuum originally developed to suck up moon rocks. And we've got the smoke detector. (I wonder if the one in outer space starts beeping in the middle of the night?) NASA also gave us the trash compactor, scratch-resistant eyeglass coating and the technology behind the Support Her Bra — one giant jiggle-free leap for womankind. Some of these items have made Earth a better place. But did we have to launch human beings into space to discover them? No. That's why from now on, I propose that NASA engineers skip the actual space travel part and just concentrate on developing new technology. But once those keen, creative minds have created the next Dustbuster or bounceless bra or even freeze-dried escargot, they shouldn't bother sending it into orbit. They should send it straight to Wal-Mart. It's less expensive that way, less dangerous and that's where it's all going to end up, anyway. Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. JWR contributor Lenore Skenazy is a columnist for The New York Daily News. Comment by clicking here. Lenore Skenazy Archives © 2005, NY Daily News

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