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May 24, 2012

Jeff Jacoby: The peace process battered Israel's reputation
Clifford D. May: What Iran's Rulers Want
Michael Muskal: 'Pro-choice' position hits record low, according to poll
Chris Farrell: Are We in a Tech Bubble?
Kimberly Lankford: Switching Medicare Advantage Plans Mid-Year
Bryan McIver, M.B., Ch.B., Ph.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Understanding hyperthyroidism and its variety of treatment options
The Kosher Gourmet by Penelope Wall: PHILLY CHEESE STEAKS --- hold the steak!
May 23, 2012
Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: Baghdad talks highlight Western naivete
Tony Pugh: More private colleges offering tuition discounts
Lisa Gerstner: 4 Money-Etiquette Questions Answered
Mary Beth Franklin: How to Choose the Right Annuity for You
Art Markman, Ph.D.: Get smart: How to bulk up your creativity muscles
Tina Susman: The wig wasn't enough: Man gets 13 years for posing as his dead mom
The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen:A simple way to do fish right
May 22, 2012
David S. Cloud and Kathleen Hennessey: Obama changes mind on Pakistan invite to NATO summit --- and then gets dissed by country's president
Warren Richey: Can US group challenge overseas surveillance act? Supreme Court to decide
Thomas M. Anderson: Walking Away From a Mortgage
Environmental Nutrition editors: The lowdown on a low-acid diet
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: Enjoy a celebration of the most rich and layered flavors: Black bean, sweet potato and quinoa chili
May 21, 2012
Mark Clayton: Cybersecurity: How US utilities passed up chance to protect their networks
Howard LaFranchi: NATO summit: Who will foot the bill for long-term Afghanistan security?
Chris Farrell : Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
James K. Glassman: 5 Stock Picks Among Online Retailers
Stephen Whiteside, Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Social anxiety disorder --- or just shy?
Guy Jackson : Victim's father regrets death of Lockerbie bomber
The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: Famed chef's veal shoulder farsumagru: A festive meat course for late spring
May 18, 2012
Rabbi Berel Wein: Striving: The People of the Book's Book for (All of) the People
Caroline B. Glick: Embracing dangerous delusions and not our friends
Steven Goldberg: 5 Great Stock Picks and the Exchange-Traded Fund that Owns Them
Janet Bodnar: How to Teach Kids to Handle Credit Cards
Mary Pickett, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Don't be forced into gluten-free lifestyle based merely on a doctor's false-positive test
The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: DIY healthy lunchbox treats: HOMEMADE FRUIT BARS for kids and brown-bagging adults alike
May 17, 2012
Warren Richey: Teacher fired for being unwed and pregnant can sue religious school, court rules
Josh Mitnick: Netanyahu's 'centrist' coalition is already proving it's anything but
Steven Goldberg: Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Mary Beth Franklin: Retirement Savings Tips for New Grads
Amina Khan: Research links coffee to lower death rates
Chelsea Sheasley: Social media: Is it too feminine?
The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Duran : Cheesy Potato Breakfast Casserole with Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
May 16, 2012
Jackson Holahan: The Aleppo Codex
Jonathan Tobin : Iran Declares Victory in Nuclear Talks
Anne Kates Smith: 7 Stocks That Let You Sleep Tight
Carmen Terzic, M.D., Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: A variety of exercises can help improve balance
Melissa Healy: National strategy on Alzheimer's disease aims to halt it by 2025
The Kosher Gourmet by Joyce White : GOODNESS GRACIOUS: GREENS! 4 winning recipes that are no longer just for down-home folks (Includes expert tips & techniques)
May 15, 2012
Dennis Prager: God and Man at (and for) Liberty
Kristen Chick: Obama administration resumes arms sales to Bahrain despite serious unresolved human rights issues. Activists feel abandoned
Pat Mertz Esswein: Homes are now affordable again and mortgage rates are low. What you need to know before you buy
Kathy Kristof: Our Practical Investor Fights Inflation with These 6 Investments
Sue Hubbard, M.D.: The Kid's Doctor: Lactose intolerant young child? Check again
Environmental Nutrition Editors: Get the facts on palm sugar sweetening
The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Hunt: Spread a Little Excitement with EXOTIC CONDIMENTS (4 RECIPES)
May 14, 2012
Richard Simon: Purple Hearts for domestic terror victims?
Nando Pelusi, Ph.D.: The privacy paradox: Surrounded by strangers, we risk isolation, anxiety
Chris Farrell: Investing Lessons from the Great Recession
Lisa Gerstner: How to Protect Your Identity, Finances If You Lose Your Phone
Harvard Health Letters: Heart disease and dementia
Tiffany O'Callaghan: New hormone mimics effects of exercise without the sweat
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: MANGO COCONUT OAT MORNING MUFFINS are a bright but hearty delight
May 11, 2012
Rabbi B. Shafier: Why happiness will always be elusive
Charles Krauthammer: Echoes of '67: Israel unites
Howard LaFranchi: With G8 snub, US-Putin 'reset' off to stumbling start
Jeremy J. Siegel: Investors, Relax About Rising Interest Rates
Jessica L. Anderson: Get the Best Deal on a Used Car
Jett Stone: Forget face-lifts and fake knees. Scientists have seen the fountain of youth --- and it's broccoli
The Kosher Gourmet by Chef Mario Batali: The famed chef's vegetable dish that tastes true to the season: FAVAS AND SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH POTATOES AND TARRAGON
May 10, 2012
Clifford D. May: The Real Palestinian Refugee Problem
Sergei L. Loiko: Putin sends warning to U.S., NATO in Victory Day speech at Red Square
Mary Rourke: How being a 'mentch' got Vidal Sasoon his start and fighting in Israel's War of Independence provided him with confidence and a strong sense of his own identity
Harvard Health Letters: Palliative care: Underused therapy yields surprising benefits
Jeff Bertolucci: Get Home Phone Service for Less Than $10 a Month
Rachel L. Sheedy and Susan B. Garland : Make the Right Moves to Boost Benefits
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Gleaming with its golden, crimson, and snowy white hues, this silken smooth and creamy STRAWBERRY ORANGE TRIFLE looks impressive, but is easy to prepare
May 9, 2012
John Rosemond: Parents, stop destroying the American male
Valerie J. Nelson: Maurice Sendak, author of 'Where the Wild Things Are,' dies at 83
Bob Frick: Angst Over Annuities
Sharon Palmer, R.D. How you can reduce your risk -- or delay -- chronic diseases associated with aging
Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Why did my blood pressure suddenly shoot up?
Lisa Gerstner: Lower the Rate on All Your Loans
The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : Springtime soba with miso sauce offers a coloful mix of fresh textures and flavors
May 8, 2012
Edmund Sanders: Netanyahu suddenly cancels new elections, forms unity government
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: Farewell to European superstate
Anne Kates Smith: 4 Stocks That Mimic Buffett and Berkshire Hathaway
Gaia Vince and Clare Wilson The Rise of Miniature Medical Robots: Fantasy Fast Becoming Reality
Paul Takahashi, M.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Never suffer night leg cramps
Jessica L. Anderson: Extended-Warranty Warning
The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Celebrate National Chocolate Chip Day with the Best Cookie Ever (Includes techniques)
May 7, 2012
Mark Clayton: Homeland Security warns major cyber attack aimed at gas pipeline industry underway
Angus Roxburgh: Putin Decoded: World view of a Russian feeling dissed
Kimberly Lankford: Navigate a Course for Long-Term Care
Kevin McCormally How to Adjust Your Tax Withholding
Celeste Robb-Nicholson, M.D.: Harvard Health Letters: How do you treat a Baker's cyst?
Joanne Capano: Healthy Snacks for Children: The Choices May Surprise You
The Kosher Gourmet by Penelope Wall: Classic Creamy Spinach Dip with a Fraction of the Calories and Fat
May 4, 2012
Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Holy 'trivialities'
Jonathan Tobin: Bibi v. Barak will be no contest this time around
Steven Goldberg: Blue Chip Stocks On Sale Worldwide
Art Pine Slow Productivity Growth a Blessing --- For Now
Sue Hubbard, M.D. : The Kid's Doctor: Are Kids Too Wired?
Kerri-Ann Jennings, M.S., R.D: Foods that are good for your smile
Amy Paturel, M.S., M.P.H.: Eating Well: Foods that are good for your smile
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Strawberry rhubarb parfaits are elegant yet simple to assemble
May 3, 2012
Michael Freund: Who's Afraid of the Messiah?
Clifford D. May: The Foggiest War
Susan B. Garland: Insurance to Cover Old Old Age
Steven Goldberg 6 Reasons to Bet on a Big Bull Market
Harvard Health Letters: Treating prostate cancer --- no rush to judgment
Larry Gordon: Harvard, MIT partner to offer free online courses
Naomi Nix : Man gets free trip to Chicago after postcard sent by mother in 1957 finally reaches him
The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Intensely Italian vegetable frittata is a seriously simple standby


Jewish World Review August 23, 2004 / 6 Elul, 5764

Prophet School

By Jeff Dunetz


Arafat, messenger of the Divine?


http://www.jewishworldreview.com | Sometimes a public figure makes a statement that seems so very absurd, so way out there that it makes you wonder if maybe there is some truth in it. You know what I am talking about, declarations like Clinton's "I did not inhale" and OJ's "I am searching for Nicole's real killer".


Such was the case last week when Yasser Arafat stood in front of the Palestinian legislative council and admitted that he has been a bad boy, using as his excuse, "even Prophets make mistakes."



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Go ahead, read that statement again — slowly. You can't stop the question from just leaping into your mind: Does Arafat really believe that he is a Prophet of G-d? Let's face it, outside of the Bible or the movies, the only people I have ever seen claim they were true prophets were holding a sign and standing next to squeegee guys who try to clean my windows when I go over the Brooklyn Bridge.


On one hand there is at least some truth in what Arafat is saying. The Bible is full of prophets who erred. Yet, as far as I can see, Yasser's mistakes are a lot larger than that of the traditional biblical messengers. His slip-ups include things like commanding children to wear explosives, go on a bus and blow up other children on the way to school. I don't have a copy but you have to believe that Arafat's thirst for the murder of innocents are major no-no's in the official prophet handbook. And for extra measure, he is stealing billions of dollars — money earmarked to go to Gaza and West Bank Arabs for food and medicine.


Lots of the EU financial aid is now living with "Mrs. Voice of G-d" far away from the people it was meant to help. Despite the opinions of those in the French government, Yasser Arafat's acts are not those of a "People's Choice Award" winning prophet. We are not talking about hitting a rock here.


Despite all these mistakes maybe Arafat's entire statement is true. What if he really is a deliverer of holy messages? The fact that he is so mistake prone may not be his fault. It could be that he just had lousy training. Just like any other professional prophets need training too. In biblical times, prophets learned at the feet of other messengers, for example Elisha learned from Elijah.


Who has Arafat had to learn from? He had to train somewhere. Couldn't have been Elijah, he's too busy going from bris to bris. You don't read in the paper about a lot of great prophets around, delivering messages from G-d. That's probably why Yasser has committed all of these crimes. He's not a bad guy, just a bad prophet. You know, this could be the key to peace in our time. If we correct his horrible training he might change his ways. I made it my quest to find out where Yasser was ordained.

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At first I thought that he might have been self-trained. All of those years cooped up in that Ramallah compound; maybe Arafat got bored and wanted to change careers. He could have taken a correspondence class, like one of those matchbook "You can go to art school" deals. He could have stepped out from his office for a smoke and seen it right there on as he lit up. "Draw a picture of this little doggie and you too can be a messenger of G-d. Imagine the fun at parties as you rebuke your friends in ancient Aramaic." That even sounds like the kind of operation that would produce a murder-prone seer like the head of the PA.


The president of the matchbook company assured me that there are no "Be a Prophet" correspondence courses on matchbooks. They only offer correspondence courses for doggie drawing art schools and NY Times Middle East columnists.


Unfortunately there were no good leads left, but I could not give up. The only way to reverse Arafat's mistaken prophet training is to find its source. Matchbooks didn't pan out. I couldn't figure out where the Palestinian Messenger of G-d learned his trade. It was time to think outside of the box. To free up my mind and relax, I turned on a fantasy TV program, ABC News with Peter Jennings.


Reading some e-mails and only half listening, I heard a quote that sounded like something that Arafat would say. "The Israeli puppeteer travels to Washington, meets with the puppet in the White House and goes down Pennsylvania Avenue and meets with the puppets in Congress. The Israeli leader then brings back millions of dollars in aid to Israel." I looked up at the television, it was not Yasser the messenger or even a Palestinian, it was Ralph Nader, candidate for President of the US.


"Eureka! That's the answer" I screamed, " Ralph Nader must be the one". In an instant it all became obvious. Nader's book "Unsafe At Any Speed" reads like a traditional prophet's rebuke. Many of his follower's have a glassy-eyed look, kind of acting like they have "drank the Kool-aid." Nader's comments about Israel sound like the person who may have given our sorry Yasser his official voice of G-d decoder ring. After further reseach I heard on good authority, that Nader has a second book which is one of Arafat's favorites. It is called, "How To Be A Lousy Prophet While Looking Like You Haven't Shaved In Three Days".


Calls to Nader's office remain unanswered, but once he has been contacted and I can confirm Ralph Nader as the source of the mistakes made by France's favorite prophet, Yasser Arafat, a giant leap toward peace will have been made.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and the media consider must-reading. Sign up for our daily update. It's free. Just click here.

Jeff Dunetz is a regular contributor to Jewish World Review. Click here to visit his site. Comment by clicking here.


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The Davinsky Code
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What type of world will my children live in?
High Holiday Prayers --- for my enemies: 'Getting even' with the evil ones the Jewish way






© 2004, Jeff Dunetz