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April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review July 18, 2012/ 28 Tamuz, 5772

What Your Children and Grandchildren Are Doing

By Alan Douglas




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | My Aunt was once again irritated and frustrated, as she tried to set me straight for the thousandth time. She explained, "Little Darling, when I ask you questions, I do it out of concern; but when you ask them, you are just being nosy." The concept of sharing information or gossip about others has been documented as a requirement for all highly functioning societies, by social scientists. But in their rush to obtain grant money and publish, these scientists have missed an important current communication phenomenon that I have stumbled upon.

My Aunt is a very private person, about herself. She is an open and worldly person when it comes to discussing others. My Aunt hates technology so much that she laments, and refuses to use, touchtone telephones in her home. But my Aunt is in the majority of people who want to learn more about her friends, neighbors, and associates than the amount she wishes to reveal. Being a "private person" or protecting one's privacy is important to all of us. Even celebrities and royalty complain about how they can't seem to have a "private life", as they enjoy the fruits of leading a public life. There are lines we each set marking what is private and what is personal; what is shared, and what is not, but not anymore.

I highly recommend that each of you do a Google search of your own name. This will tell you where on the worldwide web there are articles, comments, or information about you. The roster for your tennis team, with your ranking, and your donations to charity may be already public knowledge. Don't just check your public web presence once, do it all the time, 24/7 with Google Alerts. Set up a Google Alert for your name and Google Alerts will keep searching and report back to you if any new information about you pops up. Why stop there? Set up Google Alerts on everyone you know and check for Facebook alerts for friends, and LinkedIn. Keep up to date on the activities of those you know, love, compete against, and loathe. But once you set up these Google Alerts be forewarned, it is like taking a bite from an apple offered by a friendly snake.

I asked my Aunt about her how her restless leg problem was doing, and she was insulted. "Did your Cousin Sydie tell you about my condition?" my Aunt asked indignantly. "She had no right to say anything. That was private. I'm going to have to set her straight!" my Aunt exclaimed. "No, Sydie didn't say a word" I said in as soothing a tone as I could muster, "I read it on the internet." "I don't have anything to do with those awful computers" my Aunt countered, "So, you couldn't have read anything about me on a computer." I went on to explain to my Aunt that a letter she sent to a holistic health columnist not only appeared in her local newspaper but her letter, and his answer, was syndicated in hundreds of other newspapers, and archived on those websites. My Aunt thunder back, "Well, you had no right reading it."

Later that day, during lunch with my friend Murray, he sympathizes with me, pointing out that my Aunt is meshugeneh. "She's crazy, so don't worry about it" he counsels. The rest of lunch is spent discussing the world's problems and tattoos. This is an interesting topic, a pleasant departure from internet privacy and my Aunt's rant. My friend, Murray emphatically states his position, that he is absolutely opposed to tattoos on moral, religious and esthetic grounds. Perceptive and erudite person that I am, I give my friend Murray a detailed lecture as to the nautical and Egyptian origins of tattoos and reminisce about a museum exhibit I once saw featuring tattoos.

When I get home and open my computer, I see an alert. There is this big, color, picture of a new tattoo posted on posted on Murray's son's Facebook Wall. I call Murray, thinking of our luncheon conversation, and wondering in hindsight if I was a supportive, good friend. I didn't know the tattoo discussion was about his son. He never said anything about his son getting a tattoo. Not knowing quite what to say, I ask, "What's up with your son getting a tattoo?" Murray asked, "He told you?" "Sort of," I answer tentatively, before stammering, "He posted a picture of it on Facebook." "Well," Murray says, in his formal voice, "That's not the kind of thing that should be talked about." At that point I arrive at the conclusion that my Aunt, and Murray, are okay, it's me that is meshugeneh.

I find myself a victim of the convergence of media and privacy standards. Friends, relatives and associates designate certain information they don't want to discuss, or even share, as protected by privacy as it is being broadcasted worldwide and archived. I am not sure what the rules are for these new situations. What do you call information broadcast worldwide about someone who maintains it isn't public? You can't unlearn thinking about a pink elephant. The easy responses are to blame "the media" or send people who are in denial about public information to therapy so they can share openly.

Where all information is available as data, our personal lives can find no sanctuary. This has always been true when it comes to hiding anything from my Aunt, technology has just caught up.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment by clicking here.

JWR contributor, Alan Douglas, an author, media executive, award winning screenwriter (not produced), and attorney, lives con brio- except when he is grumpy.


Previously:

Family Dinner
Library Idol Worship
Holocaust Survivor, Museum Founder, Fired by Phone
Florida Attorneys to Shake Hands with the Devil
Holiday for the fallen and failed
Black History Month, Politics, and the Ice Cream Scoop
Friends With Benefits
Pilgrimages
Moneyball, Economics and Medicine
Justice, My Aunt, and Gretsky
Hurricanes, Earthquakes and Home Depot
Glenn Beck, Norway, Hitler and Me
D Day: The Ripple Effect
What are you paying for?
Law, Etiquette and 5 Rules
Inspiration
Confusing Kindness with Weakness
When Katie Couric Got Pulled Off the Air…
Don't second guess the deceased
Pain and legacies
Being in the No
The Sixth Sense
Dogs in Danger
Facebook, LinkedIn and the Zuckerberg Exit
Simon Bolivar Would Tell Glenn Beck to, ‘Put A Sock In It’
Children and Grandchildren
Swearing, Shoes, and Mark Twain
How my poor man's Porsche, Virgil, prepared me for life
Leases and Landing Gear
The Oscars, Obama and Job Creation
Damages and Penalties
Obstacles with Impossibilities
Making Others Feel Bad
Referrals and Recommendations
Woodpecker Frustration
Phrases, Not Resolutions
I Was A Crime Fighter and Super Hero
Comforting with Sympathizing
Nautical Worry Killers
Can You Keep A Secret?
Holiday Card Hazards
Gifts
Sharing, Transparency and Dumping
Red Alert
Readers Respond Regarding Rabbi
Readers: I Need Your Help with my Rabbi
Humphrey Bogart and P. T. Barnum on Fighting with Family and Friends
Columbus, Honors and Hound Dogs
The Free Lunch
When your child suffers
Conversational Transmitted Diseases
Conservative, Liberal or American
Paris, Antarctica and Shopping
Personal Protection
Dispute Resolution
Jumped or Pushed?
Friends and Acquaintances
Revenge and Vindication

© 2010 Alan Douglas

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