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Jewish World Review July 18, 2012/ 28 Tamuz, 5772 What Your Children and Grandchildren Are Doing By Alan Douglas
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
My Aunt was once again irritated and frustrated, as she tried to set me straight for the thousandth time. She explained, "Little Darling, when I ask you questions, I do it out of concern; but when you ask them, you are just being nosy." The concept of sharing information or gossip about others has been documented as a requirement for all highly functioning societies, by social scientists. But in their rush to obtain grant money and publish, these scientists have missed an important current communication phenomenon that I have stumbled upon.
My Aunt is a very private person, about herself. She is an open and worldly person when it comes to discussing others. My Aunt hates technology so much that she laments, and refuses to use, touchtone telephones in her home. But my Aunt is in the majority of people who want to learn more about her friends, neighbors, and associates than the amount she wishes to reveal. Being a "private person" or protecting one's privacy is important to all of us. Even celebrities and royalty complain about how they can't seem to have a "private life", as they enjoy the fruits of leading a public life. There are lines we each set marking what is private and what is personal; what is shared, and what is not, but not anymore.
I highly recommend that each of you do a Google search of your own name. This will tell you where on the worldwide web there are articles, comments, or information about you. The roster for your tennis team, with your ranking, and your donations to charity may be already public knowledge. Don't just check your public web presence once, do it all the time, 24/7 with Google Alerts. Set up a Google Alert for your name and Google Alerts will keep searching and report back to you if any new information about you pops up. Why stop there? Set up Google Alerts on everyone you know and check for Facebook alerts for friends, and LinkedIn. Keep up to date on the activities of those you know, love, compete against, and loathe. But once you set up these Google Alerts be forewarned, it is like taking a bite from an apple offered by a friendly snake.
I asked my Aunt about her how her restless leg problem was doing, and she was insulted. "Did your Cousin Sydie tell you about my condition?" my Aunt asked indignantly. "She had no right to say anything. That was private. I'm going to have to set her straight!" my Aunt exclaimed. "No, Sydie didn't say a word" I said in as soothing a tone as I could muster, "I read it on the internet." "I don't have anything to do with those awful computers" my Aunt countered, "So, you couldn't have read anything about me on a computer." I went on to explain to my Aunt that a letter she sent to a holistic health columnist not only appeared in her local newspaper but her letter, and his answer, was syndicated in hundreds of other newspapers, and archived on those websites. My Aunt thunder back, "Well, you had no right reading it."
Later that day, during lunch with my friend Murray, he sympathizes with me, pointing out that my Aunt is meshugeneh. "She's crazy, so don't worry about it" he counsels. The rest of lunch is spent discussing the world's problems and tattoos. This is an interesting topic, a pleasant departure from internet privacy and my Aunt's rant. My friend, Murray emphatically states his position, that he is absolutely opposed to tattoos on moral, religious and esthetic grounds. Perceptive and erudite person that I am, I give my friend Murray a detailed lecture as to the nautical and Egyptian origins of tattoos and reminisce about a museum exhibit I once saw featuring tattoos.
When I get home and open my computer, I see an alert. There is this big, color, picture of a new tattoo posted on posted on Murray's son's Facebook Wall. I call Murray, thinking of our luncheon conversation, and wondering in hindsight if I was a supportive, good friend. I didn't know the tattoo discussion was about his son. He never said anything about his son getting a tattoo. Not knowing quite what to say, I ask, "What's up with your son getting a tattoo?" Murray asked, "He told you?" "Sort of," I answer tentatively, before stammering, "He posted a picture of it on Facebook." "Well," Murray says, in his formal voice, "That's not the kind of thing that should be talked about." At that point I arrive at the conclusion that my Aunt, and Murray, are okay, it's me that is meshugeneh.
I find myself a victim of the convergence of media and privacy standards. Friends, relatives and associates designate certain information they don't want to discuss, or even share, as protected by privacy as it is being broadcasted worldwide and archived. I am not sure what the rules are for these new situations. What do you call information broadcast worldwide about someone who maintains it isn't public? You can't unlearn thinking about a pink elephant. The easy responses are to blame "the media" or send people who are in denial about public information to therapy so they can share openly.
Where all information is available as data, our personal lives can find no sanctuary. This has always been true when it comes to hiding anything from my Aunt, technology has just caught up.
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JWR contributor, Alan Douglas, an author, media executive, award winning screenwriter (not produced), and attorney, lives con brio- except when he is grumpy.
Family Dinner
© 2010 Alan Douglas
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Arnold Ahlert | |||||||||||||
