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News of the Weird: Bright Ideas By Chuck Shepherd
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | New York scent artist Christopher Brosius had made his name with fragrances recalling childhood (such as Clean Baby Butt, Green Bean and Baseball Glove), but felt it was time, according to an April report in New York magazine, to approach the next frontier -- to make a perfume so exclusive that no one could smell it. By Brosius' reasoning, the scent's chemicals would provoke whatever reactions scents provoke in those exposed to it, but the actual scent would be undetectable to the nose; hence, no one would know why they were reacting as they were. By trial and error, he combined jasmine, sandalwood and natural amber, and scaled them down in power, yielding what he calls Where We Are There Is No Here. Said Brosius, "The question, 'What perfume are you wearing?' should never arise." [New York, 4-24-2011] Blow Against the Empire: Bank of America (BA) had the tables turned on it in June after the company wrongfully harassed an alleged mortgage scofflaw in Naples, Fla. BA had attempted to foreclose on homeowners Warren and Maureen Nyerges last year even though the couple had bought their house with cash -- paid directly to BA. It took BA a year and a half to understand its mistake -- that is, until the Nyergeses sued and won a judgment for expenses of $2,534, which BA promptly ignored. The Nyergeses' attorney obtained a seizure order, and two sheriff's deputies, with a moving truck, arrived at the local BA branch on June 3 to load $2,534 worth of furniture and computer equipment from the bank's offices. After about an hour on the phone with higher-ups, the local BA manager issue a check for $2,534. [Naples Daily News, 6-3-2011] Police in Doncaster, England, were on the lookout in June for an organized group of four female and two male shoplifters who hit a liquor store on Bentley Road in May but left an interesting crime-scene story on the surveillance video. While five of the crew distracted employees, one woman, wearing pants, walked to the back but emerged minutes later wearing a large wraparound skirt and waddling slowly toward the front door. After the unsuspecting employees bid farewell to the six, they discovered that the office safe was missing and concluded that the waddling woman was holding it between her legs. [South Yorkshire Police website, 5-31-2011] Click here to comment on this column.
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• OOPS! • News That Sounds Like a Joke; Inexplicable • T-moo-I!; Unclear on the Concept • Creme de la Weird; Least Competent Gun-Handling • HUH!?; Questionable Judgments • The Classic Middle Name (all-new!); Unclear on the Concept • Least Competent Patient; Rights of the Disabled • Procreation Interventions; Weird Animals • Who says we're in a recession!?; Navel Observatory • Fine Points of the Law; Medical Marvels • How the Saudis hold beauty contests; The Entrepreneurial Spirit!; Noses Know • Cliche Come to Life; art!?; worse • I Demand My Rights!; Signs of the Times • Compelling Explanations; 'Wrong' Impressions • Ironies • HUH!? • When government bombs; Bizarre ‘art’ • Pakistan finds a use for ‘transgendered’; People With Issues • Least Competent Criminals; Usual consequence for an unqualified student • Why Unions Are Unpopular; Score One for Death Penalty Advocates • Those who don't know when to shut their yap • Least Competent Criminals; Last Words • HUH!? • Zero Tolerance?; Willing to go to Indonesia to cure for emphysema? • FANatic; what a putz — literally! • The ultimate loser; chutzpah X2 • Illegals become animals; When ‘grow up!’ is not just a rebuke • 'Good Housekeeping' for the bomber set; evolutionary hardiness in American drinkers? • In case you are getting sentenced; when a ‘best friend’ betrays • Do names portend the future? • Smooth Reactions; Least Competent Criminals • The Entrepreneurial Spirit: Product Giveaways • Creme de la Weird; The Litigious Society • Ironies • Least Competent Criminals; Classic weirdness • News That Sounds Like a Joke; The Weirdo-American Community • People Different From Us; Least Competent Criminals Not Ready for Prime Time • Yikes! • Change, the old fashioned way; Another ‘Sovereign’ Citizen • Elusive Perps; The Country Afraid of Its Own Shadow • More ‘Can't Possibly Be True!’ • Things that make say ‘HUH!?’ • Least Competent Criminals; Classic • Least Competent Criminals; She's repulsive, they're jealous • The Entrepreneurial Spirit; Not Your Father's Scotch • Privacy v. ‘art’; The Continuing Crisis • Recurring Themes; A News of the Weird Classic • People With Issues; Least Competent Criminals • Economics and witchcraft; Ironies • From victims to tourist attractions; Wacky lawsuit • Least Competent Criminals; People Who Ran Over Themselves • Getting Old, Young; from the archives • Bright Ideas; Least Competent Criminals • Oops!; Failed to Think It Through • The Continuing Crisis; Beloved Banker • Questionable State Regulation; Can't Possibly Be True • Unclear on the Concept; Least Competent Criminals • Where down is up; Can't Possibly Be True • Least Competent Criminals; Things that Make You Say: Huh!? • News That Sounds Like a Joke • Cultural Diversity; eggs-ellent! (from the archives) • News from Islam-land; Latest Cutting-Edge Research • Those Ingenious Western Spies!; Cultural Diversity • Can't Possibly Be True; Motherly Love • Least Competent Criminals; Questionable Judgments • This mafia really are animals; out of control businesses • Least Competent Criminals; from the archives • Their Crimes Fit Their Names; Bright Ideas • Latest ‘Rights’; Compelling Explanations • One of the world's most bizarre conferences; delicious ironies • Thinning the herd; Downgrade Cut Short; from the archives • Cleverest Non-Humans; Medicare In Action • Oops!; The Weirdo-American Community; Least Competent Criminals • Life Imitates a Drew Barrymore Movie; Weird Science; Questionable Judgments • Questionable Judgments; Great, ahem, Art! • Fine Points of the Law; Thank Goodness for Narcissists • Cliches Come to Life; First Things First; Fine Points of the Law • News That Sounds Like a Joke; Suspicions Confirmed; Yikes! • Catch-22 Catches Disabled Veteran; The Continuing Crisis; Best Not to Ask Why
© 2011, Chuck Shepherd. Distributed by Universal Uclick |
Arnold Ahlert |
