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News of the Weird: Creme de la Weird; Least Competent Gun-Handling By Chuck Shepherd
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | In May, based on five women's complaints, Virginia Beach, Va., police arrested restaurateur Henry Fitzsimmons, 54, for abduction and sexual assault for harshly beating them as punishment for violating the terms of the "scholarship" he supposedly offered them. The women claim that Fitzsimmons is a devotee of the "Spencer Plan" of orderly discipline, in which contracting parties adhere to agreed-on roles but at a cost of being physically disciplined if they fail. Fitzsimmons acknowledged his fascination with the Spencer Plan, but denied the assaults, pointing out that he had fired one of the women and that the other four were helping her retaliate. [Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk), 5-16-2011]
Former Camden, N.J., police Sgt. Jeffrey Frett pleaded guilty in May in a scheme to qualify for early retirement by arranging to be shot in the leg (to be attributed to random street violence). The plan deteriorated, police said, when Frett's wife (the designated shooter) missed his leg, merely ripping a hole in his uniform pants. [Philadelphia Daily News, 5-12-2011] Ryan Martin, 29, and Erica Clayburn, 20, were charged with reckless endangerment in Derry Township, Pa., in April after Martin was shot in the jaw. The couple were playing a game resembling "Marco Polo" with a loaded handgun, with an eyes-closed Clayburn firing when Martin shouted "Gun!" (Martin was supposed to duck out of the way before Clayburn pulled the trigger.) [WHTM-TV-AP, 4-6-2011] Click here to comment on this column.
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• HUH!?; Questionable Judgments • The Classic Middle Name (all-new!); Unclear on the Concept • Least Competent Patient; Rights of the Disabled • Procreation Interventions; Weird Animals • Who says we're in a recession!?; Navel Observatory • Fine Points of the Law; Medical Marvels • How the Saudis hold beauty contests; The Entrepreneurial Spirit!; Noses Know • Cliche Come to Life; art!?; worse • I Demand My Rights!; Signs of the Times • Compelling Explanations; 'Wrong' Impressions • Ironies • HUH!? • When government bombs; Bizarre ‘art’ • Pakistan finds a use for ‘transgendered’; People With Issues • Least Competent Criminals; Usual consequence for an unqualified student • Why Unions Are Unpopular; Score One for Death Penalty Advocates • Those who don't know when to shut their yap • Least Competent Criminals; Last Words • HUH!? • Zero Tolerance?; Willing to go to Indonesia to cure for emphysema? • FANatic; what a putz — literally! • The ultimate loser; chutzpah X2 • Illegals become animals; When ‘grow up!’ is not just a rebuke • 'Good Housekeeping' for the bomber set; evolutionary hardiness in American drinkers? • In case you are getting sentenced; when a ‘best friend’ betrays • Do names portend the future? • Smooth Reactions; Least Competent Criminals • The Entrepreneurial Spirit: Product Giveaways • Creme de la Weird; The Litigious Society • Ironies • Least Competent Criminals; Classic weirdness • News That Sounds Like a Joke; The Weirdo-American Community • People Different From Us; Least Competent Criminals Not Ready for Prime Time • Yikes! • Change, the old fashioned way; Another ‘Sovereign’ Citizen • Elusive Perps; The Country Afraid of Its Own Shadow • More ‘Can't Possibly Be True!’ • Things that make say ‘HUH!?’ • Least Competent Criminals; Classic • Least Competent Criminals; She's repulsive, they're jealous • The Entrepreneurial Spirit; Not Your Father's Scotch • Privacy v. ‘art’; The Continuing Crisis • Recurring Themes; A News of the Weird Classic • People With Issues; Least Competent Criminals • Economics and witchcraft; Ironies • From victims to tourist attractions; Wacky lawsuit • Least Competent Criminals; People Who Ran Over Themselves • Getting Old, Young; from the archives • Bright Ideas; Least Competent Criminals • Oops!; Failed to Think It Through • The Continuing Crisis; Beloved Banker • Questionable State Regulation; Can't Possibly Be True • Unclear on the Concept; Least Competent Criminals • Where down is up; Can't Possibly Be True • Least Competent Criminals; Things that Make You Say: Huh!? • News That Sounds Like a Joke • Cultural Diversity; eggs-ellent! (from the archives) • News from Islam-land; Latest Cutting-Edge Research • Those Ingenious Western Spies!; Cultural Diversity • Can't Possibly Be True; Motherly Love • Least Competent Criminals; Questionable Judgments • This mafia really are animals; out of control businesses • Least Competent Criminals; from the archives • Their Crimes Fit Their Names; Bright Ideas • Latest ‘Rights’; Compelling Explanations • One of the world's most bizarre conferences; delicious ironies • Thinning the herd; Downgrade Cut Short; from the archives • Cleverest Non-Humans; Medicare In Action • Oops!; The Weirdo-American Community; Least Competent Criminals • Life Imitates a Drew Barrymore Movie; Weird Science; Questionable Judgments • Questionable Judgments; Great, ahem, Art! • Fine Points of the Law; Thank Goodness for Narcissists • Cliches Come to Life; First Things First; Fine Points of the Law • News That Sounds Like a Joke; Suspicions Confirmed; Yikes! • Catch-22 Catches Disabled Veteran; The Continuing Crisis; Best Not to Ask Why
© 2011, Chuck Shepherd. Distributed by Universal Uclick |
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