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December 2, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review July 13, 2010/ 2 Menachem-Av, 5770

Surviving in D.C.

By Tom Purcell




http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | "When you get mugged, there are certain rules you must follow," my friend and his wife explained to me as we walked from a Washington, D.C., pub to their condo.

"When I get mugged?"

"Muggers are polite when you follow their instructions, but they get surly when you are rude," said his wife.

"How can you be rude to a mugger?"

"Ignoring the mugger is rude," said my friend. "This will give him license to strike you with a blunt object."

"I see."

"Making eye contact is also rude," said his wife. "Look only at the mugger's feet."

"Why not just run?"

"Running might affect the mugger's self-esteem," said my friend. "You'll give him little recourse but to club you with a blunt object."

"Then what should I do when we get mugged?"

"Always make an offering of some kind," said his wife.

"Hand over my watch?"

My friends laughed.

"You don't wear a watch in this city!" said his wife. "You give up your wallet."

"But my wallet contains my license, credit cards and other vital information."

"You don't hand over your real wallet," said my friend, looking at his wife like I was an idiot. "You give up a dummy wallet. You carry your real wallet in your sock or your underwear."

"I keep my credit cards in my bra," said my friend's wife.

"What if the mugger looks in your sock?"

"Muggers never do that," said his wife. "They're eager to complete their transaction, so they can move on to the next mugging."

"Can't you call for a policeman?"

"Ha!" said his wife. "If you can find one."

"How about Mace?"

"If a mugger catches you reaching for Mace, that gives him license to --"

"Strike me with a blunt object?"

"Precisely," said my friend.

"What if you were able to carry a gun?"

"The gun laws are very strict here," said my friend. "It seems the only people who have them are the police or the criminals."

"But two years ago, the Supreme Court held that D.C.'s handgun ban violated individuals' Second Amendment right," I said. "The court affirmed that 'the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed' in federal enclaves."

"It did?"

"The Supreme Court just ruled on a similar case from Chicago, which is not a federal enclave. It affirmed that the Second Amendment provides Americans with a fundamental right to bear arms that cannot be violated by state and local governments."

"So the average law-abiding citizen is now permitted to own a handgun anywhere in America?"

"Local jurisdictions are still free to impose a variety of restrictions," I said. "But plenty of lawsuits will surely follow as the details are worked out. In D.C., for instance, law-abiding citizens may own guns but are not permitted to carry a concealed weapon as they walk home."

"Too bad," said my friend. "If the muggers feared we had a gun, they would likely leave us alone."

His wife, shaking her head, said, "But then again, if the mugger discovers we have a gun, that might give him license to --"

"Shoot us with a blunt object?" I said.

As we approached their condo, my friend and his wife sprinted to the door. They scanned for suspicious movement in the shrubs. We rushed inside and slammed the door.

"We made it!" said his wife.

"That was a close one!" said my friend.

"You have developed an interesting process for dealing with muggers," I said. "How long have you lived here in D.C.?"

"We moved in last Friday," said my friend.

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