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May 24, 2012

Jeff Jacoby: The peace process battered Israel's reputation
Clifford D. May: What Iran's Rulers Want
Michael Muskal: 'Pro-choice' position hits record low, according to poll
Chris Farrell: Are We in a Tech Bubble?
Kimberly Lankford: Switching Medicare Advantage Plans Mid-Year
Bryan McIver, M.B., Ch.B., Ph.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Understanding hyperthyroidism and its variety of treatment options
The Kosher Gourmet by Penelope Wall: PHILLY CHEESE STEAKS --- hold the steak!
May 23, 2012
Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: Baghdad talks highlight Western naivete
Tony Pugh: More private colleges offering tuition discounts
Lisa Gerstner: 4 Money-Etiquette Questions Answered
Mary Beth Franklin: How to Choose the Right Annuity for You
Art Markman, Ph.D.: Get smart: How to bulk up your creativity muscles
Tina Susman: The wig wasn't enough: Man gets 13 years for posing as his dead mom
The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen:A simple way to do fish right
May 22, 2012
David S. Cloud and Kathleen Hennessey: Obama changes mind on Pakistan invite to NATO summit --- and then gets dissed by country's president
Warren Richey: Can US group challenge overseas surveillance act? Supreme Court to decide
Thomas M. Anderson: Walking Away From a Mortgage
Environmental Nutrition editors: The lowdown on a low-acid diet
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: Enjoy a celebration of the most rich and layered flavors: Black bean, sweet potato and quinoa chili
May 21, 2012
Mark Clayton: Cybersecurity: How US utilities passed up chance to protect their networks
Howard LaFranchi: NATO summit: Who will foot the bill for long-term Afghanistan security?
Chris Farrell : Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
James K. Glassman: 5 Stock Picks Among Online Retailers
Stephen Whiteside, Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Social anxiety disorder --- or just shy?
Guy Jackson : Victim's father regrets death of Lockerbie bomber
The Kosher Gourmet by Mario Batali: Famed chef's veal shoulder farsumagru: A festive meat course for late spring
May 18, 2012
Rabbi Berel Wein: Striving: The People of the Book's Book for (All of) the People
Caroline B. Glick: Embracing dangerous delusions and not our friends
Steven Goldberg: 5 Great Stock Picks and the Exchange-Traded Fund that Owns Them
Janet Bodnar: How to Teach Kids to Handle Credit Cards
Mary Pickett, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Don't be forced into gluten-free lifestyle based merely on a doctor's false-positive test
The Kosher Gourmet by Carolyn Malcoun: DIY healthy lunchbox treats: HOMEMADE FRUIT BARS for kids and brown-bagging adults alike
May 17, 2012
Warren Richey: Teacher fired for being unwed and pregnant can sue religious school, court rules
Josh Mitnick: Netanyahu's 'centrist' coalition is already proving it's anything but
Steven Goldberg: Earn Dividends in Emerging Markets with This WisdomTree ETF
Mary Beth Franklin: Retirement Savings Tips for New Grads
Amina Khan: Research links coffee to lower death rates
Chelsea Sheasley: Social media: Is it too feminine?
The Kosher Gourmet by Faith Duran : Cheesy Potato Breakfast Casserole with Cheddar and Sun-Dried Tomatoes
May 16, 2012
Jackson Holahan: The Aleppo Codex
Jonathan Tobin : Iran Declares Victory in Nuclear Talks
Anne Kates Smith: 7 Stocks That Let You Sleep Tight
Carmen Terzic, M.D., Ph.D. : Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: A variety of exercises can help improve balance
Melissa Healy: National strategy on Alzheimer's disease aims to halt it by 2025
The Kosher Gourmet by Joyce White : GOODNESS GRACIOUS: GREENS! 4 winning recipes that are no longer just for down-home folks (Includes expert tips & techniques)
May 15, 2012
Dennis Prager: God and Man at (and for) Liberty
Kristen Chick: Obama administration resumes arms sales to Bahrain despite serious unresolved human rights issues. Activists feel abandoned
Pat Mertz Esswein: Homes are now affordable again and mortgage rates are low. What you need to know before you buy
Kathy Kristof: Our Practical Investor Fights Inflation with These 6 Investments
Sue Hubbard, M.D.: The Kid's Doctor: Lactose intolerant young child? Check again
Environmental Nutrition Editors: Get the facts on palm sugar sweetening
The Kosher Gourmet by Kathy Hunt: Spread a Little Excitement with EXOTIC CONDIMENTS (4 RECIPES)
May 14, 2012
Richard Simon: Purple Hearts for domestic terror victims?
Nando Pelusi, Ph.D.: The privacy paradox: Surrounded by strangers, we risk isolation, anxiety
Chris Farrell: Investing Lessons from the Great Recession
Lisa Gerstner: How to Protect Your Identity, Finances If You Lose Your Phone
Harvard Health Letters: Heart disease and dementia
Tiffany O'Callaghan: New hormone mimics effects of exercise without the sweat
The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon: MANGO COCONUT OAT MORNING MUFFINS are a bright but hearty delight
May 11, 2012
Rabbi B. Shafier: Why happiness will always be elusive
Charles Krauthammer: Echoes of '67: Israel unites
Howard LaFranchi: With G8 snub, US-Putin 'reset' off to stumbling start
Jeremy J. Siegel: Investors, Relax About Rising Interest Rates
Jessica L. Anderson: Get the Best Deal on a Used Car
Jett Stone: Forget face-lifts and fake knees. Scientists have seen the fountain of youth --- and it's broccoli
The Kosher Gourmet by Chef Mario Batali: The famed chef's vegetable dish that tastes true to the season: FAVAS AND SUGAR SNAP PEAS WITH POTATOES AND TARRAGON
May 10, 2012
Clifford D. May: The Real Palestinian Refugee Problem
Sergei L. Loiko: Putin sends warning to U.S., NATO in Victory Day speech at Red Square
Mary Rourke: How being a 'mentch' got Vidal Sasoon his start and fighting in Israel's War of Independence provided him with confidence and a strong sense of his own identity
Harvard Health Letters: Palliative care: Underused therapy yields surprising benefits
Jeff Bertolucci: Get Home Phone Service for Less Than $10 a Month
Rachel L. Sheedy and Susan B. Garland : Make the Right Moves to Boost Benefits
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Gleaming with its golden, crimson, and snowy white hues, this silken smooth and creamy STRAWBERRY ORANGE TRIFLE looks impressive, but is easy to prepare
May 9, 2012
John Rosemond: Parents, stop destroying the American male
Valerie J. Nelson: Maurice Sendak, author of 'Where the Wild Things Are,' dies at 83
Bob Frick: Angst Over Annuities
Sharon Palmer, R.D. How you can reduce your risk -- or delay -- chronic diseases associated with aging
Howard LeWine, M.D.: Ask the Harvard Experts: Why did my blood pressure suddenly shoot up?
Lisa Gerstner: Lower the Rate on All Your Loans
The Kosher Gourmet by Emily Ho : Springtime soba with miso sauce offers a coloful mix of fresh textures and flavors
May 8, 2012
Edmund Sanders: Netanyahu suddenly cancels new elections, forms unity government
Frank J. Gaffney Jr.: Farewell to European superstate
Anne Kates Smith: 4 Stocks That Mimic Buffett and Berkshire Hathaway
Gaia Vince and Clare Wilson The Rise of Miniature Medical Robots: Fantasy Fast Becoming Reality
Paul Takahashi, M.D.: Mayo Clinic Medical Edge: Never suffer night leg cramps
Jessica L. Anderson: Extended-Warranty Warning
The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Celebrate National Chocolate Chip Day with the Best Cookie Ever (Includes techniques)
May 7, 2012
Mark Clayton: Homeland Security warns major cyber attack aimed at gas pipeline industry underway
Angus Roxburgh: Putin Decoded: World view of a Russian feeling dissed
Kimberly Lankford: Navigate a Course for Long-Term Care
Kevin McCormally How to Adjust Your Tax Withholding
Celeste Robb-Nicholson, M.D.: Harvard Health Letters: How do you treat a Baker's cyst?
Joanne Capano: Healthy Snacks for Children: The Choices May Surprise You
The Kosher Gourmet by Penelope Wall: Classic Creamy Spinach Dip with a Fraction of the Calories and Fat
May 4, 2012
Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Holy 'trivialities'
Jonathan Tobin: Bibi v. Barak will be no contest this time around
Steven Goldberg: Blue Chip Stocks On Sale Worldwide
Art Pine Slow Productivity Growth a Blessing --- For Now
Sue Hubbard, M.D. : The Kid's Doctor: Are Kids Too Wired?
Kerri-Ann Jennings, M.S., R.D: Foods that are good for your smile
Amy Paturel, M.S., M.P.H.: Eating Well: Foods that are good for your smile
The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom: Strawberry rhubarb parfaits are elegant yet simple to assemble
May 3, 2012
Michael Freund: Who's Afraid of the Messiah?
Clifford D. May: The Foggiest War
Susan B. Garland: Insurance to Cover Old Old Age
Steven Goldberg 6 Reasons to Bet on a Big Bull Market
Harvard Health Letters: Treating prostate cancer --- no rush to judgment
Larry Gordon: Harvard, MIT partner to offer free online courses
Naomi Nix : Man gets free trip to Chicago after postcard sent by mother in 1957 finally reaches him
The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington: Intensely Italian vegetable frittata is a seriously simple standby


Jewish World Review

A real bear amid the Cubs

By Chris Erskine


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | n our last installment, the Cub Scouts of Pack 515 had deployed to Camp Snore-a-Lot in the mountains above Monrovia. In the middle of the night, a bear wandered into camp — a little black bear, not a grizzly. We ran the grizzlies out of these parts long ago, in much the same way we rid ourselves of a vibrant middle class. SoCal no longer proved affordable.

Anyway, I'm in this big tent I bought at Sports Chalet a million years ago. During the Civil War, it had been used by Confederate officers to play gin rummy, so it's not like it's that old. But, like me, it's been stitched together more than once.

When I finally crash for the evening, after a contraband beer with Joe and Ted, I look out over the camp to see the tents, all pregnant with the gasping snores of the Cub Scout dads. Wheeeeez-zzzzzzzzz. Wheeeeez-zzzzzzzzz. One dude, I think, inhaled a picnic table.

It's no wonder the black bear awakened. Who could hibernate with that kind of roar? At Camp Snore-a-Lot, the dads sleep at night and the bears sleep by day. Just tradition.

So, it's amazing I can even hear the bear rooting around in the garbage. He is relatively quiet, not what you'd expect. Most of what I know about bear behavior comes from watching cheesy '60s-era cartoons. In fact, most of what I know about human behavior comes from '60s-era cartoons. So far, this cursory knowledge of things has served me pretty well.

Now, a few things race through my head as I hear the bear outside our tent door. First, that I haven't even cast my all-star ballot yet, as I mentioned last week. Under the new online system, you can vote up to 25 times, much like in a Chicago mayoral election. It is good to see the rest of the country begin to think so progressively.

I also reflect on the fact that no one understands our sprinkler system the way I do. If I die, they'd have to bring in a team of Caltech whiz kids to figure out the controller. They'd fiddle with it for days, curse a couple of times and stalk off. It would rattle their faith in science itself. Several of them would give it all up to become poets instead, and the world can barely sustain any more of those.

So there's a lot at stake as this bear closes in.

How do I know it's a bear? I just know. Raccoons tend to chatter and make lots of noise. Hobos smell like box wine. Debutantes smell like croissants. No, this intruder is a bear.

At the campfire meeting earlier that evening, the Scout leaders warned us to stash our food in the cars (we did) and our garbage in the dumpster (which we forgot). Soon, our campsite has the aroma of a freshman dorm. It smells of stale underwear and aerosol cheese.

We're up near Monrovia, as I mentioned, which is a popular retreat for black bears. They like to lounge in the backyard pools and Jacuzzis of that nice little suburb, and when the mood hits them, they wander up into the mountains like this to remember their roots.

Because 7-year-olds rarely finish a meal unless it comes with a toy, there is plenty of grub for the bear, which makes it unlikely that the bear would, for example, decide to eat us.

Still, I wonder if tents should include a bear escape hatch. For instance, if the bear came through the front door of the tent, where would you go? From the videos I've seen, bears' heads tend to bob and weave (Stevie Wonder comes to mind), and I doubt you could skirt past them.

So, I sit in the sleeping bag, barely breathing, listening to the snoring from the other tents and the bear rooting through the garbage. If we were at home, there would be weapons aplenty — plastic pirate swords, battery-operated light sabers, foam nunchucks. To a 7-year-old, the Earth was made by Nerf.

Just when I conclude there is no hope and our garbage is gone forever, my buddy Charlie comes out of his adjacent tent and shakes his car keys at the bear. I don't know what the bear thought at this particular moment. "Perhaps he's giving me his Lexus?" the bear probably wondered. "Or maybe he just wants me to park it for him."

In any case, bears hate confusion. Like us, all they want is a little clarity in their lives. Rather than deal with some Lebanese dude shaking his car keys and yelling, the bear decides to flee Camp Snore-a-Lot.

"OK, back to the 'burbs," the bear probably thought. "It's too scary up here."

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Previously:


In the first grade, life bubbles over
Take my one-liners, please
Just point the way and we'll march
An enchanted diorama in the 'burbs
America's next top Mama
Fires and gas leaks aside, we're just swell
Woozy on the lido deck of life
He's tickled to visit the doctor
A treat that could eat you
Making sense of March Madness
Save the queen, from Biden's motorcade
His daughter's becoming an adult, but is that a good thing?
Thin mints and fungo bats
You must be this tall to enter the ark


© 2010, Los Angeles Times Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services

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