
 |
|
May 24, 2013
May 22, 2013
John Thorne:
They launched the 'Arab Spring' but now yearn for the good old days of a strongman
May 20, 2013
Richard A. Serrano: Is Meir Kahane's assassin now a changed man?
Melissa Healy: Genetic copies of living people from embryos no longer science fiction
Jewz in the Newz by Nate Bloom : Jews Inducted into Rock Hall of Fame; Anton Yelchin co-stars in New "Trek" film; Kutcher (but not Kunis) visits Israel; Jewish TV Star Praises Jewish Rap Star
The Kosher Gourmet by Cathy Pollak: WARNING: This WALNUT CAKE WITH PRALINE FROSTING, perfect for afternoon coffee, is addicting
May 13, 2013
Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: Why the giving of the document that would permanently change the world could only be done in desolation
David G. Savage: Church-state, literally? Supreme Court weighing public school graduation in a church
May 10, 2013
Rabbi Berel Wein: Be all that you should be
May 8, 2013
Peter Ford: Why China is welcoming both Israel's Netanyahu and Palestinians' Abbas
Warren Richey: Obama administration quietly backs out of appeal over new contraceptive mandate
Fred Weir: At Kerry-Putin meeting, US-Russia relations thaw --- a tad
The Kosher Gourmet by Leela Cyd Ross : Almost too pretty to eat, this colorful salad with Sicilian inspiration will tickle the taste buds and delight your visual sensibility
May 6, 2013
May 3, 2013
Kids, kittens the Same? With employee perks at struggling Internet pioneer Yahoo! it's hard to tell
Sandy Kleffman: Artificial kidney offers hope to patients tethered to a dialysis machine
April 29, 2013
Roy Gutman: Poland's new Jewish museum celebrates life, doesn't revisit Holocaust
Mark Clayton: Terrorism in America: Is US missing a chance to learn from failed plots?
Kim Murphy: Boston Bomber's 'Svengali' Revealed
Pete Spotts: Tiny satellites + cellphones = cheaper 'eyes in the sky' for NASA
April 26, 2013
Clifford D. May: Defense in the Age of Jihadist Terrorism
Sharon Palmer, R.D.: How to feel your best -- with plenty of energy, a healthy weight and optimal mental and physical function -- without driving yourself batty
April 24, 2013
|
| |
Jewish World Review
June 25, 2010
/ 27 Tamuz 5770
Whitewashing happy ever after
By
Lori Borgman
| 
|
|
|
| |
|
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
The way Tom Sawyer weaseled his way out of whitewashing Aunt Polly's fence was pure genius. My admiration for the kid grows every time we have to paint our fence. That would be the white picket fence that was so charming when we bought this house years ago and had no idea what lower back pain maintaining charm would require.
Sweat is dripping down my face, my paintbrush hand is cramping and I just flicked paint into my right eye.
It's like that age-old question, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there, does it still make a sound? If a painter sweats in the heat and humidity and nobody is there, does the painter still complain?
This painting job went a lot faster when the kids were home and we paid them 25 cents a picket. We told them we'd pay them again if they'd come help paint, but a quarter doesn't excite them like it used to.
Tom Sawyer didn't pay anybody to paint. He didn't even offer a bribe. It was an all-out con. Tom persuaded his friends they were privileged to do the work, talked one of them out of a prized marble, and then took the day off. If ever a young man was on the fast track to management, it was Tom.
Of course, that same scenario would have a different twist today. Why? Because today Tom would have a cell phone. He would message every person in his contact list and generate a flash mob to do the painting.
Technology would change a lot of the classics.
Red Riding Hood wouldn't stop to talk to the wolf because Red wouldn't be allowed to walk alone. Today if Red wanted to go somewhere, her mother would drive her. Besides, the kid wouldn't take homemade food in a picnic basket to Grandma, she'd pick up take-out.
The three little pigs would have had a different outcome as well. Each of the pigs would have an ADT Home Security System. "Tell me where the intruder is now. He's by your front door? And you say he's huffing and puffing? And he has terrible breath? OK, don't hang up the phone."
Hansel and Gretel wouldn't lose their way in the woods; they'd have a GPS with audio navigation. "In 20 feet, turn right. Turn right. Recalculating."
Romeo and Juliet would skip the lengthy soliloquies; they would text.
Juliet: Romeo, O Romeo, where art thou?
Romeo: At the pub. U?
Cinderella would save the prince days searching the kingdom for the foot that would fit the glass slipper. She would whisper her name to him and then scream "Facebook me!" as she ran from the dance floor. And when her coach turned back into a pumpkin she wouldn't panic; she'd have OnStar, the vehicle safety, navigation and communication system. "Stay calm. Help is on the way. And where is it you last saw the slipper?"
There are very few areas of life technology hasn't revolutionized. Unfortunately, painting an old picket fence isn't one of them.
If you follow me on Twitter and get a tweet, bring a brush, we have plenty of paint.
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Catching Christmas" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.
ARCHIVES
© 2009, Lori Borgman
|
|

Arnold Ahlert
Mitch Albom
Jay Ambrose
Michael Barone
Barrywood
Lori Borgman
Stratfor Briefing
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Richard Z. Chesnoff
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Suzanne Fields
Christine Flowers
Frank J. Gaffney
Bernie Goldberg
Jonah Goldberg
Julia Gorin
Jonathan Gurwitz
Paul Greenberg
Argus Hamilton
Victor Davis Hanson
Betsy Hart
Ron Hart
Nat Hentoff
A. Barton Hinkle
Jeff Jacoby
Paul Johnson
Jack Kelly
Ch. Krauthammer
David Limbaugh
Kathryn Lopez
Rich Lowry
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Ann McFeatters
Dale McFeatters
Dana Milbank
Jeanne Moos
Dick Morris
Jim Mullen
Deroy Murdock
Judge A. Napolitano
Bill O'Reilly
Clarence Page
Kathleen Parker
Star Parker
Dennis Prager
Wesley Pruden
Tom Purcell
Sharon Randall
Robert Robb
Cokie & Steve Roberts
Heather Robinson
Debra J. Saunders
Martin Schram
Greg Schwem
Culture Shlock
David Shribman
Roger Simon
Lenore Skenazy
Michael Smerconish
Thomas Sowell
Ben Stein
Mark Steyn
John Stossel
Cal Thomas
Dan Thomasson
Bob Tyrrell
Diana West
Dave Weinbaum
George Will
Walter Williams
Byron York
ZeitGeist
Mort Zuckerman

Robert Arial
Chuck Asay
Baloo
Lisa Benson
Chip Bok
Dry Bones
John Branch
John Cole
J. D. Crowe
Matt Davies
John Deering
Brian Duffy
Everything's Relative
Mallard Fillmore
Glenn Foden
Jake Fuller
Bob Gorrel
Walt Handelsman
Joe Heller
David Hitch
Jerry Holbert
David Horsey
Lee Judge
Steve Kelley
Jeff Koterba
Dick Locher
Chan Lowe
Jimmy Margulies
Jack Ohman
Michael Ramirez
Rob Rogers
Drew Sheneman
Kevin Siers
Jeff Stahler
Scott Stantis
Danna Summers
Gary Varvel
Kirk Walters
Dan Wasserman

Tech Q&A
Mr. Know-It-All
Ask Doctor K
Richard Lederer
Frugal Living
On Nutrition
Bookmark These
Bruce Williams
|