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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review July 9, 2007 / 23 Tamuz, 5767

My terrorist doc

By Tom Purcell


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Hiya, doc. Thanks for taking time to see me. I think I tore something in my knee and wondered if you could look it over.

The problem is that all you western swine are weak in the knee! All of you are corrupt and evil and that is why I and other doctors plot your murder!

Huh, doc?

What I meant to say is that you are getting older now, Tom. You need to slow it down. Tell me, when I press on this spot does it hurt?

Ouch, doc. That hurts.

You want hurt! I'll give you hurt — the kind of hurt your people give to my people with your imperialist ways. You should know that when you next enjoy a beverage at your neighborhood pub, I will blow you and your friends into the next life!

Huh, doc?

What I meant to say is that you have strained a ligament, Tom. I will X-ray it to get a better understanding, then I will apply my medical training to restore you to good health.

Great, doc. You studied in Iraq, didn't you? Isn't it wonderful that you could move to America, a free and open country, and enjoy such a good life?

Ha! I move here to plot the destruction and murder of the American dogs who stand in the way of my religious vision! I and a handful of other fanatics will make you embrace my vision or die! Under the guise of nurturing good health, I plot and plan and one day I hope to kill you!

Huh, doc?

What I meant to say is you are right, Tom. America is a great country. It is my great honor to serve — in fact, according to Independent Catholic News, Muslim doctors take an oath to devote their lives to serving other humans, God's most precious creation.

Wow, that's great, doc. American doctors embrace such an oath, too. What a great profession yours is to be able to save and nurture life.

Nurture life, Tom! Ha! Didn't you see the article in the Telegraph? A group of 45 Muslim doctors have threatened, in Internet chat sites, to use car bombs and rocket grenades within America! We apply our sharp intellects to devise new methods to kill you — clever methods that no free and open society can prevent!

Huh, doc?

What I meant to say, Tom, is that you are right. There is no greater gift than to nurture life. That is why being a doctor is such a perfect cover. We can hide among you, pretending to care and give, when what we are really after is your death!

Huh, doc?

You American pigs do not understand who we really are! We laugh at you. You think it is the poor and uneducated among us who strap on vest bombs and sacrifice themselves for the cause.

Doc?

But that is not so at all. Our ideology cuts across all classes, all geographies all levels of intelligence and education. You fail to understand what we are trying to tell you — that we want to kill you. We WILL kill you unless you accept our teachings.

Doc?

You decadent Westerners are corrupted by the excesses of your culture. Your people are confused and unfocused. You are ignorant, too — you do not understand what we are trying to tell you. We will kill you while you sleep!

Doc, I'm not sure I follow you. You're talking about my knee?

Yes, Tom, your knee. What I meant to say is that you need to rest your knee and pack it down with some ice. I want you to take two aspirin. And, if for some reason our car bombs fail to detonate and you survive the night, call me in the morning.

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