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April 21, 2014

Andrew Silow-Carroll: Passoverkill? Suggestions to make next year's seders even more culturally sensitive

Sara Israelsen Hartley: Seeking the Divine: An ancient connection in a new context

Christine M. Flowers: Priest's execution in Syria should be call to action

Courtnie Erickson: How to help kids accept the poor decisions of others

Lizette Borreli: A Glass Of Milk A Day Keeps Knee Arthritis At Bay

Lizette Borreli: 5 Health Conditions Your Breath Knows Before You Do

The Kosher Gourmet by Betty Rosbottom Coconut Walnut Bars' golden brown morsels are a beautifully balanced delectable delight

April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review July 2, 2007 / 16 Tamuz, 5767

If Washington crossed the Delaware in 2007

By Tom Purcell


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Let me get this straight, Gen. Washington: You want us, the representatives of the Second Continental Congress, to fund a sneak attack on British troops starting on Christmas?

That is correct, sir. After we declared our independence from King George, he was most unhappy. He ordered his army to attack us. The Brits have made tremendous gains on our homeland.

Gains, Washington?

Sir, whereas our Continental Army is something of a motley crew, the Brits are well-trained and well-funded. Their forces include Hessian mercenaries, professional fighters who are most skilled at the art of war.

Your point, Washington?

The Brits beat us badly in Long Island, sir, forcing us to retreat to Manhattan. They beat us in Manhattan, causing us to retreat across the Hudson River into New Jersey. They beat us in New Jersey, forcing us to retreat across the Delaware River into Pennsylvania. It is there where my men are now encamped, sir. Our situation is desperate.

What do you mean desperate, Washington?

We are on the verge of losing to the Brits, sir. The noble ideas and truths that our Declaration of Independence has advanced — that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, including Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness — are in danger.

And the best you can come up with is a sneak attack?

Sir, the Hessians are known to drink and be merry on Christmas. We expect them to lay down their arms to partake in great merriment. By attacking them when they least expect it, we hope to beat them in New Jersey and turn the tides of this war in our favor.

What exactly do you want from us, Washington?

Sir, my men are starving. Some are without shoes on their feet. The snow is falling and the temperature is unbearably cold. Yet all I ask is that you provide the additional resources we need to pull off the impossible.

I see, Washington. It's government funding you're after. We'll consider providing such funding if you agree with our terms.

Terms, sir?

You said your troops are comprised of men? Do you mean to tell us there are no women among your troops? That you are unaware of government diversity mandates, Washington!

Sir, I was barely able to assemble our ragtag group of soldiers as it was and I ...

And you say you're encamped along the Delaware River? I assume your men are cutting down trees and burning fires. Don't you care what your men are doing to the landscape, Washington? Do you have any idea what your carbon footprint is?

Carbon footprint?

And you're also ignorant of the Fair Labor Standards Act, Washington? Your men, employees of the government, are being worked well beyond the 40-hour work week. You pay them no overtime and now you want them to invade New Jersey on an official government holiday? Can you say "lawsuits," Washington?

Lawsuits, sir?

What's worse is that you intend to transport your troops across the Delaware on a series of boats! How could you not know that that stretch of river is home to the purple-bellied snorkel fish? And that the hibernation of this endangered species will be disturbed by your crossing!

The snorkel what, sir?

Look, Washington, I'm sure I speak on behalf of most of the representatives of this Congress and most Americans when I say this: Your war strategy has been prosecuted with great incompetence. We don't think we want to fund your lofty ideas anymore. We think it's time to bring the troops home.

But we're at war, sir. This is no time for partisan politics. These are the times that try men's souls.

Souls, Washington? Now you're trying to bring religion into it. You've lost your mind, Washington. You've gone bloody mad.

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