In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review July 24, 2006 / 28 Tamuz, 5766

Critical concerns about Mom's care provider

By Jan L. Warner & Jan Collins

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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Q: In order to be able to take better care of my father, who has dementia, my mother hired a homecare assistant through a regional hospital that serves as my parents' medical care provider. The woman has been most helpful, professional and friendly; however, after three weeks on the job, when Mom got comfortable with her and mentioned that she had considered increasing the number of home care visits each week, the woman suggested that rather than continue to hire her through the hospital, Mom could save money by paying her directly to come in on her own time. She told Mom it would be a "win-win" situation because Mom would be paying less while she would receive more than the hospital was paying her per hour.

Thankfully, Mom asked me my opinion, and I gave it to her by making a list that we went over. I thought it might be helpful to your readers if you choose to print it:

1) I warned Mom that in addition to opening herself up to liability, I was sure there were probably tax and labor laws to consider. For example, by hiring through the hospital, if the homecare assistant hurt herself on the job, the hospital would be on the hook to take care of her through worker's compensation. However, if she was hired directly and got hurt, she might be able to sue Mom and Dad for her medical expenses. And, with things as they are today, who knows if the "injuries" would be real or staged in order to get a lawsuit going against elderly people who are vulnerable.

2) Even if this lady was a saint and would never do such a thing, the fact that she would be working "off schedule" for direct pay suggests to me that her availability may become unreliable. To avoid conflicts with her regular work schedule, she might not be available at preferred times of the day or days of the week.

3) My sisters and I view this behavior as a breach of ethics, which leads us to believe that since this woman would be willing to secretly take work away from her employer, she is not to be trusted. This is redoubled since our parents live in a rural area, about 10 miles away from the nearest town. Even giving her the benefit of the doubt — that this was a momentary lapse of judgment on her part — what happens if Mom and Dad become dependent on her and she begins raising the price of her services or does something else that causes my folks to get someone new who won't be informed about the whole situation? The last thing Mom and Dad need right now is additional stress caused by surly homecare assistants who become dominant in the relationship. Or worse, what if she has plans to hurt or rob them? They are defenseless.

My mother, I assume like many parents of today, tells me that she is not interested in me "parenting her" and has decided that she will not terminate this woman. However, Mom is worried about the liability issues and will keep the woman on through the hospital service.

For now, I will have to leave it like that because I think I have gone as far as I can without ruining my relationship. Still, I have concerns about how convincing that woman can be because she has my mother's attention and support. I live several hours away by car, so I can't keep an eye on things as much as I'd like. My sisters and I are trying to talk our parents into selling their acreage and moving into town where they will have more health care options, but that is also a struggle.

Now that I have done it, I'd like to know if you think I am off base with my analysis of this situation. Do I have valid concerns? Are there additional concerns that I should be aware of?

A: We are printing your letter, with minor edits, because we believe you have hit the proverbial nail on the head.

This is first time we can remember printing the answer as the question.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JAN L. WARNER received his A.B. and J.D. degrees from the University of South Carolina and earned a Master of Legal Letters (L.L.M.) in Taxation from the Emory University School of Law in Atlanta, Georgia. He is a frequent lecturer at legal education and public information programs throughout the United States. His articles have been published in national and state legal publications. Jan Collins began co-authoring Flying SoloŽ in 1989. She has more than 27 years of experience as a journalist, writer, and editor. To comment or ask a question, please click here.


© 2006, Jan Warner