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Jewish World Review July 6, 2005 / 29 Sivan, 5765 A nose for driving By David Grimes
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
If you want to drive like a homicidal lunatic — and why wouldn't you, everybody else does — consider hanging a cheeseburger from your rear-view mirror.
According to a study by a British auto club, certain odors can alter a driver's mood. Peppermint, for example, improves concentration while fast-food scents can cause irritability.
(The thinking is that the odor of fast-food wrappers makes you hungry so you speed up so that you can dine on the fine cuisine of BurgerWorld as soon as possible. Personally, I think the irritability stems from the fact that your slovenly eating habits have turned the interior of your car into a roach motel.)
This is troubling research because it adds a whole new element of fear to the already terrifying driving experience. Now, in addition to wondering whether the driver who just barreled through a red light is drunk, high on drugs or simply asleep at the wheel, we have to factor in the possibility that he had his face buried in a box of chicken nuggets.
Lawyers will almost certainly make use of this new research as "fast-food rage" becomes a legitimate defense for drivers who have flouted the rules of the road.
"I'm sorry, your honor, but I cannot accept responsibility for rear-ending that school bus. You see, I was overcome by the heady aroma of salted, partially congealed beef tallow."
My wife accuses me of driving like a 184-year-old man and I wonder now if the reason is not my innate timidity but rather an amalgamation of aromas emanating from the badly stained upholstery of my Ford Taurus.
Then, of course, there was the time that a huge, steaming carton of moo shu pork tipped over on the back-seat carpet. Those aromas almost caused me to have an accident as I attempted to return the carton to its upright position while making a U-turn across six lanes of traffic on Bee Ridge Road. (Someone needs to do a study on the judgment-impairing qualities of Chinese food, including why we tend to order so much of it.)
It's hard to imagine how all these food-odor related problems could be counteracted by stuffing my face with peppermints. (It's also hard to imagine how some drivers could manage it since they're already busy yakking on their cell phone, shaving and reading the newspaper.)
But I do know one thing: If I see a driver chowing down on a Big Mac, I'm pulling off to the side of the road.
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JWR contributor David Grimes is a columnist for The Sarasota Herald Tribune. Comment by clicking here. © 2005, Sarasota Herald Tribune |
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