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Jewish World Review
July 29, 2005
/ 22 Tammuz, 5765
Let’s play the Feud
By
Brad Dickson
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com |
More and more I find myself doing what guys do best. Sitting in my recliner switching TV channels seeing what's on my 5,212 cable channels. (It's actually 5,213, but I don't count Lifetime.) On this particular night there was the standard fare. Roughly 800 poker shows, including celebrity poker tournaments featuring HUGE celebrities, like the actor who played the jewelry salesman in one episode of the TV program DRAGNET in 1966.
Flipping around the dial I also landed on the newest incarnation of an old game show. Remember Family Feud? Well, it's still on, syndicated around the nation.
And let me tell you, Family Feud (which first came on the air during the Chester A. Arthur Administration) hasn't changed much. It still pits dim-witted family against dim-witted family in a roundhouse series of hard-hitting, intellect-gauging questions like, "Name a breed of dog."
The exceptions are "special shows" wherein the contestants may not compete as part of a family, and are even dumber than usual. These shows typically feature groups like "Playboy Playmates" vs. "People Who've Had Frontal Lobotomies" with the Lobotomy folks emerging victorious.
After one particular side wins they get to play a type of lightning round featuring rapid fire, staccato answers that are compared to responses from a survey conducted of 100 people with the IQs of butter knives.
The host of the program is genial Richard Karn from Home Improvement. He's pretty good, but undeserving of the enthusiastic tone in the announcer's voice when introducing him. "And now... RICH-ARD KARN!!!!" A tone like that should be reserved for, say, the risen Abe Lincoln. "And now...back from the dead, ABRA-HAM LIN-COLLLLN!!!"
Sometimes the Feud, as those in the know call it, presents entire theme weeks when producers test the audience's capacity for punishment by bringing in especially dumb folks who are in the news (say, "American Idol contestants" vs. "Folks Who Claimed To Find Severed Fingers In Their Fast Food") for five grueling days of inane responses.
Sample:
RICHARD KARN: "Name a well known member of the Kennedy family."
CONTESTANT. "Lance!".
REST OF TEAM: "Good answer!"
Contestants on Family Feud don't speak in periods, they speak in exclamation marks, for EVERYTHING! The host could casually ask at the top of the show, "How's your mother?" and one family member would respond "She's dead!"
"Good answer!"
I've never really been a Feud fan. I find it disingenuous, as the family members almost always get along. In real life if there was big money riding on a question like, "Name a starchy food?" and son-in-law Fred answers, "Glue!" instead of clapping like a trained seal on speed Mom would turn to him and go, "GLUE?! Are you out of your friggin' mind!? My daughter could've married a DOCTOR, but instead she settled for you, a BUM!" To which the son-in-law responds, "Well, we're not going to be married for long, I filed for divorce yesterday!" To which mom responds, "Bite me!"
While shouting out their answers the contestants always stand. Probably because if they sat they'd be sitting on their brains and their answers would be even stupider.
Occasionally some of the people on the program are actually pretty intelligent. As soon as I notice the family is astute I immediately switch the channel, as all entertainment value is lost. If I want to see smart people on TV I'll watch...well, if I want to see smart people I won't watch TV.
The only time smart people on the Feud are interesting is during the lightning round when there is a lot of money riding on a particular response, and the smart family member gives an excellent answer and the group of surveyed folk let him down. Say, the question is, "Name something the state of Idaho is known for?" and the contestant goes, "Potatoes!" And the host goes, "Survey says.....dirt!"
Good answer!
Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Brad Dickson was a monologue staff writer for The Tonight Show With Jay Leno for 13 years. He's presently developing a network television pilot. Comment by clicking here.
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