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Jewish World Review July 11, 2003 / 11 Tamuz, 5763

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Cleveland Cavalier LeBron James played a summer league game on Tuesday. It's a tough transition from high school to the NBA. The coaches are drilling him night and day until the sexual assault laws in every state are second nature to him.

Canada's government complied with a court order on Wednesday to sell marijuana to sick people. That's all they have. There are no prescription drugs in Canada because their pharmacists sell everything on the black market to American discount shoppers.

The Mars Rover took off from Florida Tuesday to search for intelligent life on the Red Planet. Intelligent life knows better than to land here. The earth has a reputation around the galaxy as a black hole of emotional and financial need.

Hillary Clinton gave CNN's Tucker Carlson a cake shaped like a shoe. He had said he would eat a shoe if her book sold a million copies. The gesture was generous, but it puts her back to day one in her Letting Men off the Hook Anonymous program.

Bill Clinton is attending the Progressive Governance Conference which meets in London this weekend. Progressives believe that there should be a line down the middle of the hallways of government buildings. That's so all the government workers leaving work early don't slam into all the government workers arriving late.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

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© 2002, Argus Hamilton