In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 28, 2012/ 8 Tamuz, 5772

The bedspread from hell

By Sharon Randall

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Sometimes the people I love refuse to take me at my word. Usually, this annoys me, but at times, I don't mind it.

It depends not on what I say, but what I mean when I say it. I expect them to know the difference. What else is love for?

Recently, when I told people I didn't need help, I never meant I didn't need their attention. Lucky for me, they knew this.

It started one morning when I made the mistake of getting out of bed. During the night, the bedspread had slithered onto the floor and lay, like a snake, coiled up and waiting.

I did not know this, but I'd seen it happen before, and often said to my husband, "We need to do something about that bedspread or one of us is going to trip over it and get killed."

Guess which one of us tripped.

Not only did I trip, I launched myself across the room and landed face first on the tile. All in one fall, I split my lip and my chin, cracked four teeth and fractured a bone in my foot.

I refused to look in the mirror. When my husband got a good look, he nearly passed out. Then he drove me to the ER, where they stitched me up, put my foot (the right one I need for driving) in a cast and gave me a list of doctors to follow up with.

I never liked that bedspread. I came home and locked it in the closet. Then the calls began.

"You did WHAT?" said my sister. "I'm coming out there!"

"I don't need you to come take care of me," I said. "I'm fine."

She didn't come because (1) she knew my husband would take care of me (he didn't want to answer to her). And (2) her daughter said, "Mama, if you go, she'll end up taking care of you."

Instead, she calls every day to say, "Honey, how are you?" That's what I really needed.

My children also offered to help, each in their own ways.

"I don't need you to do anything," I told them. "It's enough to know you want to."

So they call and send videos of my grandboys. Good medicine. That's what I really needed.

When my friend Linda offered to help, I said I didn't need it. But I let her drive me to see doctors when my husband has to work. I could take a cab. But cabbies don't make me laugh like Linda does. That's what I really need.

I even turned down my friend Diana's offer to bring dinner. She brought it anyhow. It was fabulous. The best part was the wrapping: Lovingkindness. That's what I really needed.

Yesterday, my oldest called to say he was driving from L.A.

"You don't need to do that!" I insisted. He laughed.

"I'll be there by 5," he said, "and I'll make dinner."

He arrived at 4, with all the fixings for zucchini marinara.

We ate like starved wolves, talked and laughed and talked some more. Finally, I excused myself to take my fat lip and aching foot to bed. I drifted off to sleep listening to my boy and his stepdad talk like old friends.

This morning we drank coffee and discussed draft picks for the Warriors. (I think they ought to pick Orlando Johnson because he's terrific, and not because I used to baby-sit for him.)

And this evening, while my husband grilled veggies for dinner, I watched the sunlight play on my boy's face as he sat frowning, studying a script.

That was what I really needed.

I told you all that to say this. I don't need you to do anything for me (not even a get-well card, unless you really want to). But promise me this: That thing you've been meaning to take care of, like the bedspread that falls on the floor and turns into a snake? Don't put it off. Take care of it, before it bites you.

Finally, never be afraid to say what you don't need. You might get what you want. Some of us will do anything for attention.

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