May 23, 2012 Ex-CIA spy in Iran's Revolutionary Guard: Baghdad talks highlight Western naivete Putin's latest defiance shows Obama's whisper didn't work Tony Pugh: More private colleges offering tuition discounts Lisa Gerstner: 4 Money-Etiquette Questions Answered Mary Beth Franklin: How to Choose the Right Annuity for You Art Markman, Ph.D.: Get smart: How to bulk up your creativity muscles Israeli scientists use skin cells to help repair heart muscle Tina Susman: The wig wasn't enough: Man gets 13 years for posing as his dead mom The Kosher Gourmet by Emma Christensen:A simple way to do fish right May 22, 2012 David S. Cloud and Kathleen Hennessey: Obama changes mind on Pakistan invite to NATO summit --- and then gets dissed by country's president US Senate approves new sanctions against Iran ahead of Baghdad talks Warren Richey: Can US group challenge overseas surveillance act? Supreme Court to decide Supreme Court: Twins can't claim dead dad's benefits Thomas M. 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Jewish World Review Don't we all cheat at the game of life? By Jim Mullen http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Floyd Landis, the disqualified winner of the 2006 Tour de France bicycle race, has admitted that he was taking performance-enhancing drugs. For those of you who don't follow the sport, it's a three-week race with cyclists biking more than 100 miles a day, many of those stages taking place in the mountains. It's a race that makes the Ironman competitions seem like a lazy afternoon of lawn darts and croquet. Floyd Landis won the Tour de France with, for all practical purposes, a broken hip. I watched it the day he pulled away from the lead group and rode straight up a mountain. It was one of the most astounding feats of endurance ever seen. Now that he's admitted taking drugs, I just have two questions. Where can I get some of that stuff Floyd was taking, and why aren't they giving it to everyone? What are we, stupid? They keep saying it's bad for you, that it will stunt your growth, make you impotent. Yet every night we can watch athletes who have admitted taking PEDs and Human Growth Hormones. They're playing pro ball long after their peers have dropped out, they're dating starlets, they're making babies and tons of money. Gee, I hate to see them wreck their lives like that. What were they thinking? Whoever makes PEDs should be advertising them every night on the news. "Tired, sluggish, don't have the energy to fill the dishwasher? Ask your doctor about Makesmefeelgood. Warning, may cause high energy levels, increased attention from the opposite sex, a longer life span and a raise in pay. Should you experience any of these symptoms, call your doctor immediately and ask for more." Isn't this the exact same thing the "legal" drugs claim to do? Calling something a performance-enhancing drug makes it sound unsportsmanlike. But isn't food a performance enhancer? It would be hard to play football if you weren't allowed to eat any protein for a few weeks before the game. Food obviously boosts an athlete's performance, yet the International Olympic Committee refuses to ban it. Or should the athlete with the healthier diet be banned while the one who eats bacon-flavored ice cream gets to play? What about water? Doesn't that up your game? Yet they give it to all the athletes. At marathons, runners are encouraged to drink performance-enhancing water. Those good-for-nothing cheats. Don't all the years Floyd Landis trained and competed count for something? You could shoot me full of crack cocaine and amphetamines and zap me with a cattle prod and I still couldn't have done what he did in the Tour de France. I couldn't make it up that hill in a car. Maybe he wouldn't have won the race without the drugs, but it's not like he coasted to the win. While he was out there training day after day, riding thousands of miles a year, others sat around the house eating snack chips and calling sports radio talk shows to complain about athletes on dope. "I've lost all respect for them," says the guy who can't climb a flight of stairs without stopping to smoke another cigarette. These are the same fans who go to baseball and football games and eat platefuls of unhealthy nachos washed down with staggering amounts of beer while sitting around for four hours with no more exercise than going to the bathroom. Wow, what a bunch of health nuts they are. They would never use dope. Except that stuff they take for their cholesterol, the stuff they take for their diabetes, the stuff they take for their lower-back pain, the stuff they take for their gout and the stuff they take for their ED. Isn't Viagra a performance-enhancing drug? Isn't that cheating? Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here. Comment by clicking here. Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo." Previously: What happens when I forget where Google is? Don't let the doorman hit you on the way out Picasso fiasco Purple (hair) ‘Daze’ Let me hear your body talk Working from work Babies deserve clean restrooms, too 3-year-old bear-killers are a thing of the past Money-making ideas on the fly Collecting and hoarding Chain of fools Please come pick up your acting awards, ESPN commentators, you've earned them You've been superpoked by the U.S. gov't e-Readin', e-Writin' and e-Rithmatic A pose by any other name Warning: Column contains 2010 spoilers ‘He loves only gold, only gold’ Think about direction, wonder why … Flushing your money down a diamond-studded toilet More like ‘wack’ Friday The good, the ad and the ugly The desert of the real Let books be large and in charge I was insulting people way before the Internet GPS drill sergeant: Left, right, left! Butterfly in the sky, you make winds go twice as high Music to my ears it's not You don't light up my life Fair or not: Country living is far from ‘Little House’ A parable for the ‘ages’ Top 100 Cable news stories of the century Green dumb A developing story Thinking outside the lunch box What's good for the goose is good for the scanner Newspapers will survive, but network TV? A really big show of generation gaps When pigs flu The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated Mergers and admonitions Invest in gold: little, yellow, different Stuck in Folsom Penthouse Collecting karma Setting loose the creative ‘juice’ It's all in the numbers You're damaging your brain with practical skills The real rat pack The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic Gross-ery shopping © 2009, NEA

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