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Jewish World Review June 14, 2010 / 2 Tamuz 5770 Foolish Risks of Youth, and Parents Who Can't Say ‘Wait’ By Mitch Albom
For several tense hours Thursday, that was the case for a 16-year-old Californian named Abby Sunderland. Communication had been lost. Two distress beacons had been reported. Sunderland was in stormy waters on a yacht somewhere in the Indian Ocean, about 2,000 miles west of Australia and 500 miles north of the French Southern and Antarctic Lands.
And she was alone.
When I first saw the reports, my heart sank, imagining the worst. A teenager, attempting an around-the-world solo sailing trip, lost at sea forever. Her body never found. Some piece of her boat washing up years from now, reminding her grieving family of her watery grave, her funeral without a body.
I knew her journey would be scrutinized, and I thought it would be a long time before any parent allowed a kid that young to try a trip that dangerous.
How naive.
YOUNG, YOUNGER, YOUNGEST
In 1996, a 20-year-old Hawaiian named Brian Caldwell set the mark. A few months later, it was broken by an 18-year-old Australian named David Dicks. Three years later, Jesse Martin, another 18-year-old Aussie, did it with no assistance, thus upping the bar.
His mark was broken last year by a 17-year-old named Zac Sunderland. Yes, he is the older brother of Abby. You wonder what this family is feeding the kids.
Of course, Zac's mark was broken that same summer by a Brit who was -- aha! -- three months younger. And his record was bested last month (under some protest) by a 16-year-old Aussie girl named Jessica Walton.
Maybe Abby Sunderland, who has been at sea for six months, was trying to win back the family honor -- before stormy waves knocked her boat over and left her adrift. The ocean doesn't really care how old you are.
Her rigging was broken. Her sail was in the water. Luckily, her distress beacons were detected and the storm abated enough for rescue operations to locate her. Very luckily.
Because different weather might have meant a different story. And her parents would be answering some pretty tough questions right now, instead of posting the headline on her blog: "Abby is fine!"
Abby is fine. Can we say the same about Mom and Dad?
DANGER, WITHIN REASON
The obvious question then is, why couldn't Abby's journey wait? If you want to see what sailing around the world is like, what's the matter with trying it when you're 21?
Because this isn't only about sailing. Abby's dream "since she was 13" (according to her publicity machine) was to be the youngest to sail around the world. She has a clothing product line called "Abby16." That wouldn't sell as well if it were "Abby21," would it? Of course, a year from now, when a 15-year-old beat her mark, it wouldn't mean much, either.
Which is where parents come in. A 16-year-old may want to be a stunt pilot, a racecar driver or spend a winter alone at the North Pole. This is why the words "not yet, honey" were invented.
Instead, her father, Laurence, said, "You obviously don't know Abigail," when asked by "Good Morning America" about criticism. He also said: "Let's face it, life is dangerous. How many teenagers die in cars every year?"
If he really thinks a drive to the movies and six months alone at sea are the same thing, he's hopeless. But instead of a network TV appearance, he and his wife should be on their knees right now thanking heaven they're not mourning a child in an empty coffin.
There are normal risks. There are foolish risks. And there are risks done in the name of fame, records and clothing lines. Kids may not know the difference. Parents should.
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Arnold Ahlert | |||||||||||
