In this issue

Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 16, 2009/ 24 Sivan 5769

An end to buffoonish fathers

By Tom Purcell

Printer Friendly Version
Email this article

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Ah, Father's Day is almost upon us. I can't think of a better time for dads and men to remember how to be dads and men.

Flip on the tube any time during the day and you'll see fathers portrayed as hapless buffoons — saved from themselves by their wives and all-knowing children. The real life of the modern dad isn't much prettier.

To be sure, the state of the American male is in a shambles — though I'm not fully sure how we got here.

I remember the '60s. The women's movement was beginning to gain traction, but in our neighborhood the moms tended to cook and watch the children, whereas the men earned the money and tended to the yard, then shot the bull over a few Pabst Blue Ribbons.

I remember the '70s. The evening news featured equal-rights protests at which women burned their bras. Still, in our neighborhood, most of the moms stayed home and the dads worked and drank Pabst Blue Ribbon.

During the '80s, the economy exploded. Everyone was so busy working and getting ahead that few noticed — or took the time to celebrate — the tremendous strides women were making.

I got my first job out of college in 1984 and began working with many female professionals — they excelled in a range of jobs they wouldn't have been offered 20 years prior.

The '90s came and went quickly. Women kept blossoming and growing and doing well.

And in 2009, women are doing very well. They're doing better than men at all levels of education. They're gaining rapidly on men as small-business entrepreneurs. In the large metros, they're out-earning us by thousands of dollars.

As females excel, males are faltering. We're dropping out of school at a far greater rate than women. We're seeing our income stall or decline — even men with college degrees are falling behind.

Somewhere along the way, women weren't content with mere equality. They decided they wanted to remake us in their own image.

Boy, have we responded.

Sensitive new-age men now spend hours fretting over their looks and style — we spend thousands getting our hair primped, our skin moisturized, our eyebrows waxed.

Modern dads are unsure of themselves, too. Fathers can be found misting up at baby showers and clapping enthusiastically the first time junior uses the commode.

And with every concession men have made, we have lost status — we have lost respect. Well, nuts to that.

Look, men, we need to whip ourselves back into shape — we need to remember how men and fathers should be.

When our wives dress our sons up in knickers and saddle shoes, we must respond the way older fathers would have responded: "No son of mine is going to wear any damn knickers!"

We must retake control over the naming process of our children. We must give our boys names such as Tom, Mike, Jim and Joe — not let our wives name them Gilad, Jeremy and Michelle.

We need to stop seeking the approval of our sons and daughters. We are the adults and they are the children. Our role is to focus on the unpleasant job of fathering — to do the often unpopular work that will prepare them for a competitive world.

We must regain our backbone. We must earn respect by being good husbands and fathers — and we must demand that we be respected.

There's nothing wrong with being more attentive to our children than the father's of old were. There's nothing wrong with changing the diapers and having long conversations and showing emotion.

But somewhere along the way we've tossed the baby out with the bathwater — we've let ourselves become wimps and buffoons — and that isn't good for our wives, our kids or ourselves.

It's up to us now. We must restore some needed balance and equilibrium to the American family.

If we do, fathers, after a long, productive day of fathering, will be able to enjoy an occasional Pabst Blue Ribbon on the back porch.

If we don't, it is just a matter of time before modern dads are forced to wear knickers and saddle shoes, too.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment on JWR Contributor Tom Purcell's column, by clicking here. To visit his web site, click here.


© 2009, Tom Purcell