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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review

What's good for the goose is good for the scanner

By Jim Mullen


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | There's been a lot of worry about those full-body scanners in airports that can see underneath your clothes.


"I'm used to it," said Sue, "but for some poor fool just trying to do his job to have to see you naked for the first time … well, if they don't quit in disgust outright, it will probably spoil their appetite for days." Please. I have the body of an 18-year-old — a big, fat, out-of-shape 18-year-old with Benjamin Button disease.


Here's a thought experiment: Imagine there was a rule that all airline passengers had to wear skin-tight Spandex to fly, similar to the rule for superheroes. Now think about your last trip to the airport and imagine everyone you saw, in Spandex. Finished puking yet? If a Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover is a ten, the average body scan must be somewhere around a minus 20. Face it, there is no amount of diet and exercise that is going to make Nana and Poppy flying to Florida look sexy. It makes their driver's license photos look like glossies from Glamour Shots.


My cousin Maxine says she would never even think of submitting to a full-body scan.


"I'd be so embarrassed for some stranger to see me in my birthday suit." She told me this while we were on vacation in Virginia Beach. She was wearing two pieces of string and a large straw hat. The hat was 50 times bigger than her bathing suit. There are pole dancers that wear more clothes. We were sunning on the deck as all manner of people walked by on their way to the beach, all of them complete strangers.


When I was young, people used to dress up to fly. You'd wear your best clothes to the airport. You'd put on sophisticated airs and act as if you'd been on a plane many times before, even if this was your first flight. There was a time when seatbelts were a novelty and yes, you did have to pay attention to find out how they worked. The stewardess ("flight attendants" had yet to hit the scene) would ask you if you had flown before.


"All the time," I would say as I lit up a non-filtered Camel. The ashtray in the armrest was so clean, it seemed a shame to crush out my smoke in it. Stewardesses were famous for being young and glamorous. For years it was considered one of the best jobs a woman could have. The apartments where they lived, when they weren't off to Swingin' London or Paris and Rome, were called "stew zoos," and every single man in town knew to hang out in the nearby bars.


Now when I take a flight I expect to see a sign at the check-in counter that says "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service."


People dress like they are going to the gym to get on a plane. Fashionable sweat pants, check. Sleeveless T-shirt, check. Cross-trainers, check. So is going through the body scanner any more intrusive than going to the locker room at your local gym? Than going to the bathroom in a rest stop? Is it anymore revealing than watching Olympic volleyball or swimming?


Still, a full-body scan is way past many people's comfort level. But there may be a solution. Get the TSA employees at the gate to wear Speedos and bikinis. What's good for the goose is good for the scanner.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Comment by clicking here.

Jim Mullen is the author of "It Takes a Village Idiot: Complicating the Simple Life" and "Baby's First Tattoo."


Previously:


Newspapers will survive, but network TV?
A really big show of generation gaps
When pigs flu
The reports of our decline have been greatly exaggerated
Mergers and admonitions
Invest in gold: little, yellow, different
Stuck in Folsom Penthouse
Collecting karma
Setting loose the creative ‘juice’
It's all in the numbers
You're damaging your brain with practical skills
The real rat pack
The unspeakable luxury of the Park-O-Matic
Gross-ery shopping



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