Jewish World Review June 9, 2009 / 17 Sivan 5769
First Lady Macbeth's the man, so in your face, Eminem
By John Kass
http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | The bizarre emasculation of rapper Eminem at the MTV Movie Awards — by a hairy pixie with fluffy wings played by an actor known to most of the world as Borat — has apparently turned out to be a publicity stunt.
As if I care.
Either way, I can't eat Raisin Bran ever again.
"Yes, the incident was staged," said
No, let's not.
What's amazing is that in two staged incidents on "reality TV", who would have thought that former Illinois First Lady Macbeth,
When it comes to Patti versus Eminem, Patti's the man.
The video from the MTV Movie Awards has gone viral. Eminem's chin and the hairy-legged butt-nakedness of
Cohen descended on a wire from the sky as Bruno, his flamboyantly gay character, with fluffy white fairy wings, a hairy pixie fluttering over the crowd. The wire malfunctioned — part of the stunt — so he was forced to plop his naked behind on Eminem's upper chest.
TV called it "A Face-full of Tush." But the tush was the part the audience saw. They were the lucky ones. Eminem confronted the dark side, and he shook his head, groaning, whimpering something like "Get him off of me! Get him off!" in a high-pitched voice.
Then the rapper turned on his heels and huffed out of the arena, his sheepish entourage trailing behind him. Now, all that's left is for Eminem to head for the Costa Rican jungle and reflect on his shame.
Though I've never listened to a complete rap song in my life, everybody knows that for a rapper, street cred is everything, more important even than the rabid pit bulls. But how can Eminem have street cred when he agreed to allow his chin to be scraped by Borat's behind?
"All I can say, it's a good thing Borat didn't try it with
"Borat be dead," Big Paul said.
It's not just rappers who must jealously guard their public persona.
"Imagine if he tried it with
We imagined Borat stumbling, pincushioned by Ted's flaming arrows. Or Ted stringing Borat's dried tendons on his guitar, as a haunch of salted Borat turns nicely on a spit over hot coals, Ted whetting his Bowie knife, humming "Cat Scratch Fever."
If a fading star is going to be humiliated in a choreographed stunt, they should get something out of it, like
She's playing Lord of the Flies with other attention freaks. Don't you feel sorry for them, including
Phillips must still be serially depressed. His wife left him for singer
Now Lou stares into the fire in the jungle.
Meanwhile, Patti seems to have learned something from her father,
Patti told the other jungle people that her husband, former Gov.
"When you fight the special interests down in that entrenched state capital — you make these huge enemies," Patti said, and I thought of Rod smiling as his wife tainted his federal jury pool. Then came Patti's tearful prayer with the two villainous flies, Stupid Heidi and the Evil Spencer.
"The truth shall be revealed," Heidi prayed on the show, "and I pray that he (Rod) will triumph in your name and that they will be delivered from this evil and oppression."
Clearly, Patti won a victory, just by getting her message out. Later she cried, saying, "When you hear your own hopes and dreams out loud, it's kind of touching."
Eminem and Patti both engaged in touching moments. But there's only one you can watch while eating a cereal with two scoops of raisins in every box.
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John Kass is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune. Comments by clicking here.
© 2008, Chicago Tribune. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.