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March 19, 2010
Rabbi Berel Wein: The Divine is in the details
JWisdom.com Stewards of sacrifice with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (5 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick: Why Obama is waging war on Israel
March 18, 2010
Cal Thomas: Israel's New Enemy: America?
JWisdom.com Love me not? with Rabbi David Aaron (5 minutes)
Jonathan Rosenblum: Washington Throws a Tantrum
March 17, 2010
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Orwell, Santayana, and Me
Jonathan Tobin: How Many Lives Is Biden's Pride Worth?
March 16, 2010
Steven Emerson: Combating Lawfare
JWisdom.com How to perform a miracle with Rabbi Yaakov Asher Sinclair (4 minutes)
Anne Bayefsky: Behind Obama's Dangerous Overreaction on Israel
March 15, 2010
The Jewish Ethicist By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Father's obligations toward minor children
JWisdom.com Moody, Grumpy, Irritable Children with Sarah Chana Radcliffe (5 minutes)
Judith Graham: Get the whole picture before a CT
March 12, 2010
Rabbi David Aaron: You CAN have Heaven on Earth
JWisdom.com Manufacturing mediums with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky (4 minutes)
Caroline B. Glick: The march of the Red-Green brigades
March 11, 2010
Glenn Garvin: Conspiracy theories, why people believe them and how they spread
JWisdom.com For Yourself, Not By Yourself with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff (8 minutes)
The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer : Turn leftovers into tasty New England hash
Paul Richter: Biden promises 'viable Palestine' is in the offing
March 10, 2010
Paul Greenberg: Death Checks In
JWisdom.com How To Get A (Real) Life with Rabbi Warren Goldstein ( EXTENDED EPISODE)
Paul Richter: Israel exerts soverign right to its capital as Biden looks on astounded
Richard A. Serrano: 'Jihad Jane' indictment alleges threat from within U.S.
March 9, 2010
Wesley Pruden: Joe's Israeli adventure
JWisdom.com Free To Be (Responsibly) You and Me! with Rabbi Naftali Brawer ( 8 MINUTES)
David G. Savage: Supreme Court to rule on free speech in case of soldier's funeral
March 8, 2010
The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Make a fuss about those who cuss?
JWisdom.com Finding or Losing Yourself? Here's How! with Rabbi David Aaron ( 5 MINUTES)
Steven Emerson: America must learn from the UK about the future of Islamist subversion
March 5, 2010
Rabbi Berel Wein: Golden Calf still with us --- except it has multiplied
JWisdom.com The Limits of Eternity with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 4 MINUTES)
Caroline B. Glick: Biden's lost cause
March 4, 2010
Alan M. Dershowitz: How About A Real Campaign Against Abuses?
JWisdom.com Using Things, Loving People with Rabbi Lawrence Hajioff ( 7 MINUTES)
Jordan "Gorf" Gorfinkel's Everything's Relative
March 3, 2010
JWisdom.com Grasping The Name of Your Life Game with Rabbi Warren Goldstein ( 8 MINUTES)
The Kosher Gourmet by Marialisa Calta : A cowboy's recipes for really good grub
March 2, 2010
Rabbi Avi Shafran: Someone's there
Diane Toroian Keaggy : Have we misunderstood Michelangelo?
March 1, 2010
JWisdom.com Whole in One with Rabbi David Aaron ( 5 MINUTES)
Michael Muskal: Hillary meets with Israeli official, discusses gefilte fish dispute
Feb. 26, 2010
Rabbi Francis Nataf: The Megilla of Spring
JWisdom.com A Biblical Secret for a More Powerful You with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 MINUTES)
Caroline B. Glick: When rhetoric rules the roost
Feb. 25, 2010
The Jewish Ethicist By Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: When walking away from your mortgage is both economically sound and makes ethical sense
JWisdom.com The Second Most Important Question in Your Life with Rabbi Yehoshua Karsh ( 5 MINUTES)
Seema Mehta : U.S.-Israel relations raised in California's Senate race --- by conservatives
Feb. 24, 2010
Rabbi Avi Shafran: The gift of the ‘prayer bomber’
Steven Emerson: Why Religious Freedom Commission is under attack
Feb. 23, 2010
Dennis Prager: Government, Yes! The Divine and Parents, No!
JWisdom.com The Last Laugh of Enlightenment with Rabbi Yaakov Asher Sinclair ( 5 MINUTES)
Anne Applebaum: Prepare for war with Iran --- in case Israel strikes
Feb. 22, 2010
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Is it not refreshing Tiger Woods' career has crashed and burned so dramatically?
JWisdom.com Esther and the third Truth with Rabbi David Aaron ( 9 MINUTES)
Kelly Brewington: Going smoke-free may raise diabetes risk
Feb. 19, 2010
Rabbi David Aaron: Is the Divine beyond us or within us?
JWisdom.com Olympic Faith with Rabbi Sroy Levitansky ( 5 MINUTES)
Caroline B. Glick: Israel and the West are perpetrators of a myth that endangers the Jewish State
Feb. 18, 2010
Cal Thomas: Who is Rashad Hussain?
JWisdom.com A Wedding Disaster to Remember with Rabbi Y.Y. Rubinstein ( 3 MINUTES)
Feb. 17, 2010
JWisdom.com Think your life is messed up? with Rabbi David Aaron ( 11 MINUTES)
Greg Logan: 'Greatest Jewish sporting event of all time since David versus Goliath' may be postponed because of bar mitzvah
Feb. 16, 2010
Anya Martin : Boy's 'cerebral palsy' fixed with diet
JWisdom.com Feet On The Street Spirituality with Gavriel Aryeh Sanders ( 8 MINUTES)
Marty Peretz: Let Europe Mind Its Own Business. It Brings Nothing To The Table Save For Mischief
Feb. 15, 2010
Herb Geduld: Lincoln and the Jews
JWisdom.com Are Our Children Really Ours? with Rabbi Mordechai Becher ( 5 MINUTES)
Susan King: 'Wolf Man' reflected writer's wartime Jewish experience

Jewish World Review June 7, 2007 / 21 Sivan 5767

Harry Potter theme park may only be the first …

By Lloyd Garver


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Sometime in 2009, a Harry Potter theme park will open in Orlando, Fla. I know what you're thinking — just what Orlando needs: another theme park. It's part of the business philosophy that if you are lucky enough to make money as fast as bills can be printed, keep milking it and try to make more.


The new park will be called, "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter." I guess they started to go with some alliteration, but ran out of words that begin with "W." It will have rides, exhibits, and — surprise, surprise — shops.


If the Harry Potter Park pans out, I'm sure other books and movies will follow. Some titles just might lend themselves to the transformation — like "Shrek." However, I hope those who build these things will restrain themselves and not go for an amusement park version of the current film, "Knocked Up."


Philadelphia would be the natural site for the "Rocky" theme park. There will be the "Yo, Adrienne Room," where you'll be taught to speak almost unintelligibly. Grown-ups and children will be coached in saying lines like, "Yo, Adrienne, it's me, Rocky ... I don't know what to say, 'cause I ain't never talked to no door before, ya know?" Next, you go into The Ring where you get to fight a virtual boxer and get the virtual stuffing beat out of you. No visit to the park would be complete without a stop at the gift shop where you can buy things like the cologne, "Eau de Boxer's Sweat."


The "Ocean's 11" franchise is only a sequel or two away from being ready for theme park stature. For this one, the customer enters, and is immediately given fantastic clothes. After walking through the "Wink At The Camera Room," you'll experience roller coasters, jumping out of burning buildings, and being run over by trucks carrying dangerous plutonium. Then someone helps you up and you realize that those fabulous clothes they gave you don't have one single wrinkle.


I think the time is right to turn Al Gore's bestseller about global warming, "An Inconvenient Truth," into a theme park. It is very, you should excuse the expression, "hot" right now. Apparently, even the president has read and been moved by it. How else would you explain his recent and sudden reversal on global warming? Anyway, "Al Gore's Wacky World of Warming" would have exhibits, including a scary ride through Hurricane Country, and a scenic view of continents flooding. You can also see a 90-year-old woman, sitting in her mock living room, who removes her overcoat saying, "Oy, it's even hot in here for me." If you just want to relax in a place where there's nothing going on, there's the FEMA Room.


George Tenet's book, "At the Center of the Storm: My Years at The CIA" might make a nice place to take the kiddies. This theme park would include rides that just go around and around in confusing circles, while various people are heard to say, "It's not my fault."


And all those popular diet books could combine to make a perfect theme park, probably called something like, "Lose Pounds and Inches Simply By Giving Us Your Money For Our Books." The customers walk in and are starved and forced to do vigorous exercise. Almost immediately, they lose a few pounds, so they have to buy better-fitting clothing from the gift shop. Next, they go through a confusing labyrinth populated by diet "experts." By then, the customers will have gained back all the weight they lost plus more. That's when they have to buy new clothes again from the theme park gift shop.


If theme parks based on books and movies are big successes, maybe soon there will be theme parks based on columns. However, I would never succumb to the temptation of having my column turned into some crass commercial moneymaking machine. In fact, if those who build theme parks want to know more details about why I'm not interested, they can contact me and my accountant via the link in my bio.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Lloyd Garver has written for many television shows, ranging from "Sesame Street" to "Family Ties" to "Frasier." He has also read many books, some of them in hardcover. Comment by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.

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© 2006, Lloyd Garver

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