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July 24, 2008

Rabbi Berel Wein: On the road again --- and again and again

Richard Z. Chesnoff: Mideast Refugees --- Failure vs. Success

JWisdom:: Word power is about more than vocabulary by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

July 23, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: The Mufti of Jerusalem's Nazi ideology lives on among contemporary Islamists

The Kosher Gourmet by Joe Gray: Smoked paprika turkey meatballs simmered in red wine and tomato sauce

JWisdom:: 'Routine' doesn't need to mean ‘rote’ By Rabbi David Aaron

July 22, 2008

Yossi Klein Halevi: Dear Barack Obama

Elliot B. Gertel: Eli Stone: Self-indulgent, arrogant corporate attorney as modern-day prophet

JWisdom:: Three Weeks - Nine Days - One Purpose by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

July 21, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Spending your kids' money

Mitch Albom: A grim exchange illustrates a key difference

JWisdom:: The Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith: Hammered on the Anvil --- Severed by the Sickle by Rabbi Nosson Scherman

July 18, 2008

Rabbi Nathan Lopes Cardozo: The Sanctification and Importance of Time

Caroline B. Glick: US wants it absolutely clear it has no intention of attacking Iran's nuclear installations

Mona Charen: What can you say about a people who welcome a child murderer as a hero?

JWisdom:: Living a dog's life, dawg? by Rabbi Dovid Gross

July 17, 2008

Steven Emerson: Deals with devils

Libby Lazewnik: One Step at a Time

JWisdom:: Leader the follower? by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

July 16, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Poaching humans

The Kosher Gourmet by Linda Gassenheimer: Meaty pasta salad with summer berries perfect for warm evenings

JWisdom:: Keeping A Secret by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

July 15, 2008

Dennis Prager: False Equation: Opposing Same-Sex Marriage and Opposing Interracial Marriage

Joel Greenberg: Researchers look to Israeli circumcision program to help combat AIDS 'Alternatives' to Logic Won't Work

JWisdom:: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part V: Why Judaism ISN'T Spiritual by Rabbi David Aaron

July 14, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: A warning from Canada to those who value life

Jonathan Tobin: 'Alternatives' to Logic Won't Work

JWisdom:: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Poland's Unique Antisemitism, Part II

July 11, 2008

Rabbi Francis Nataf: It's hard to be humble when you're great

Caroline B. Glick: A tale of two hostages

JWisdom:: Profane for Prophet by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

July 8, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q. Duty to save gullible from themselves?

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Islamists have the West just where they want us

JWisdom:: Putting the Spirit Back into Spirituality, Part 3: The Fully Loaded Human Being by Rabbi Dovid Gross

July 3, 2008

Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski: A spiritual budget (TOUCHING!)

Jeff Jacoby: Israel still paying for its defeat

JWisdom:: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part IV by Rabbi David Aaron

JWisdom:: The Moses Method by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

July 2, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Appeasers Make Poor Patriots

The Kosher Gourmet By Kathleen Purvis: Slaw, y'all: For BBQs or Sabbath dinner, these southern recipes are something else!

JWisdom:: Rabbi Mordechai Becher: Jewish Rx for A Simpler Life

July 1, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Q. I think it's important to leave a legacy to my children. How much should I save towards this end?

Paul Greenberg:A President who is history deficient?

JWisdom:: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Poland's Unique Antisemitism

June 30, 2008

Jonathan Rosenblum: Remembering the architect of Torah Judaism for the modern world

Abe Novick: Hulk: Still a Jew?

JWisdom: : Putting the Spirit Back into Spirituality, Part 2: The Abandoned Child

June 26, 2008

Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski: Quantum leap to evil

Caroline B. Glick: Victimized families must not be allowed to dictate policy

June 25, 2008

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Today in Biblical History: King Jeroboam of Israel prevents pilgrimage to Jerusalem

Jonathan Tobin: Real Friends and Real Enemies

JWisdom: Raping of reason By Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

June 25, 2008

Steven Emerson: Kristof: Never Mind the Terrorists

Stratfor Intelligence Briefing: Mediterranean Flyover: Telegraphing an Israeli Punch?

JWisdom: Rabbi David Aaron: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part III

June 24, 2008

Caroline B. Glick: What were they thinking!?

Frank J. Gaffney, Jr.: Guilty knowledge

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Warping Innocence

June 23, 2008

The Jewish Ethicist by Rabbi Dr. Asher Meir: Diploma dilemma

Jeff Jacoby: A world without children

JWisdom: Rabbi Dovid Gross: Putting the Spirit Back into Spirituality --- Introduction

June 20, 2008

Rabbi A. Henach Leibowitz: Man: The Crowning Glory of Creation

Caroline B. Glick: Israel's darkest week

JWisdom: We aren't worthy? by Rabbi Sroy Levitansky

June 19, 2008

Rabbi Elazar Meisels: The saints who don't come marchin' in

Chris Christoff: Muslim woman demands an apology from Obama after camera snub

June 18, 2008

Jonathan Tobin: Still Dancing Around Jerusalem

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky: Chilled fruit and vegetable soups

JWisdom: Souls Need A Check Up? by Rabbi Mordechai Becher

June 17, 2008

Rabbi Avi Shafran: Baby Einstein

Caroline B. Glick: Bush's rhetoric, Bush's policies

JWisdom: Re-Jew-venating prayer, Part II by Rabbi David Aaron

June 16, 2008

Varda Branfman: Bob Dylan, won't you please come home?

Diana West: Academic dares to question the 'religion of peace'

JWisdom: Holocaust in the Perspective of Faith by Rabbi Nosson Scherman: Positive Backfire

March 22, 2007

J-Rhythms with Avraham Rosenblum: JWR's cutting-edge music program showcasing performers -- singers, song writers, musicians, and bands -- who learn and live the Torah lifestyle (OUR NEWEST IGODCAST !)

Oct. 29, 2003
Mortimer B. Zuckerman: Graffiti On History's Walls (MUST-READ!)

Jewish World Review June 7, 2007 / 21 Sivan 5767

Harry Potter theme park may only be the first …

By Lloyd Garver


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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Sometime in 2009, a Harry Potter theme park will open in Orlando, Fla. I know what you're thinking — just what Orlando needs: another theme park. It's part of the business philosophy that if you are lucky enough to make money as fast as bills can be printed, keep milking it and try to make more.


The new park will be called, "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter." I guess they started to go with some alliteration, but ran out of words that begin with "W." It will have rides, exhibits, and — surprise, surprise — shops.


If the Harry Potter Park pans out, I'm sure other books and movies will follow. Some titles just might lend themselves to the transformation — like "Shrek." However, I hope those who build these things will restrain themselves and not go for an amusement park version of the current film, "Knocked Up."


Philadelphia would be the natural site for the "Rocky" theme park. There will be the "Yo, Adrienne Room," where you'll be taught to speak almost unintelligibly. Grown-ups and children will be coached in saying lines like, "Yo, Adrienne, it's me, Rocky ... I don't know what to say, 'cause I ain't never talked to no door before, ya know?" Next, you go into The Ring where you get to fight a virtual boxer and get the virtual stuffing beat out of you. No visit to the park would be complete without a stop at the gift shop where you can buy things like the cologne, "Eau de Boxer's Sweat."


The "Ocean's 11" franchise is only a sequel or two away from being ready for theme park stature. For this one, the customer enters, and is immediately given fantastic clothes. After walking through the "Wink At The Camera Room," you'll experience roller coasters, jumping out of burning buildings, and being run over by trucks carrying dangerous plutonium. Then someone helps you up and you realize that those fabulous clothes they gave you don't have one single wrinkle.


I think the time is right to turn Al Gore's bestseller about global warming, "An Inconvenient Truth," into a theme park. It is very, you should excuse the expression, "hot" right now. Apparently, even the president has read and been moved by it. How else would you explain his recent and sudden reversal on global warming? Anyway, "Al Gore's Wacky World of Warming" would have exhibits, including a scary ride through Hurricane Country, and a scenic view of continents flooding. You can also see a 90-year-old woman, sitting in her mock living room, who removes her overcoat saying, "Oy, it's even hot in here for me." If you just want to relax in a place where there's nothing going on, there's the FEMA Room.


George Tenet's book, "At the Center of the Storm: My Years at The CIA" might make a nice place to take the kiddies. This theme park would include rides that just go around and around in confusing circles, while various people are heard to say, "It's not my fault."


And all those popular diet books could combine to make a perfect theme park, probably called something like, "Lose Pounds and Inches Simply By Giving Us Your Money For Our Books." The customers walk in and are starved and forced to do vigorous exercise. Almost immediately, they lose a few pounds, so they have to buy better-fitting clothing from the gift shop. Next, they go through a confusing labyrinth populated by diet "experts." By then, the customers will have gained back all the weight they lost plus more. That's when they have to buy new clothes again from the theme park gift shop.


If theme parks based on books and movies are big successes, maybe soon there will be theme parks based on columns. However, I would never succumb to the temptation of having my column turned into some crass commercial moneymaking machine. In fact, if those who build theme parks want to know more details about why I'm not interested, they can contact me and my accountant via the link in my bio.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Lloyd Garver has written for many television shows, ranging from "Sesame Street" to "Family Ties" to "Frasier." He has also read many books, some of them in hardcover. Comment by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.

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© 2006, Lloyd Garver

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