In this issue
April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 29, 2006 / 3 Tamuz, 5766

Frosted by cold cash

By Lori Borgman

Lori Borgman
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http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | Defrosting has never been a priority for me. Of course, that was before the FBI found $90,000 cold cash in a Louisiana congressman's freezer.

I suddenly find myself highly motivated.

I had emptied the chest freezer in the garage and was sorting the contents when the husband appeared on the scene and asked what was happening.

I reminded him of the good fortune of a certain congressman and told him to be careful not to disturb the piles.

"I've divided things into four groups: pizza, waffles, ice cream and possibilities."


"Right, those are the things that are unlabeled and wrapped in aluminum foil. The congressman's money was wrapped in foil, so I thought that would be the best place to start."

"You do know they have the congressman on tape accepting a payoff, don't you?"

"Doesn't matter," I said, shaking a bag of blueberries with a nasty case of freezer burn. "He'll say he has no idea how it got there. Could have been the maid, the housekeeper, the wife, who knows, maybe a total stranger.

"And I believe him even before he says is. If I didn't, I sure wouldn't be chipping away at this glacier. Don't be such a naysayer; you really frost me."

"I think you may be forgetting this case is also about checks and balances."

"I'm all about checks and balances," I snap. "I'll keep balancing this lid open and you check the packages."

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The husband picked up a package on top of the pile of possibilities, unwrapped it, and shot me a look. "I hope you weren't planning on going shopping with this. It looks like a chicken carcass."

"Of course, it's a chicken carcass. I put those in the freezer so they don't smell up the trash. But sometimes I forget to take them from the freezer and put them in the trash. See that round package beside it?"

"Are you going to tell me this is holding 50s and 100s?"

"No, it's an overripe cantaloupe. They draw flies so I freeze them, too."

"Do you ever freeze any food?"

"Once in awhile, but that's not what I'm looking for today."

The phone rang and it was a neighbor one block over. She found a pack of rib-eyes encased in ice crystals in her freezer, some English muffins dated May '02, Halloween candy she'd forgotten about, a rubber band and six cents in change.

"She beat your dad," I told the husband. "All he had was franks, brats and sausages. No greenbacks but plenty of nitrates."

"I'm afraid you're focused on the tip of the iceberg," the husband said. "This incident raises a host of questions such as: Was the search legal? Was the President right to seal the money and declare a 'cooling off' period?"

I came up out of the freezer, brushed the frost off my nose and said, "Now I'm really chapped. You are overlooking the most important question of all: Is there any chance regular citizens might own a freezer holding 90 grand or is that model only available to elected officials?"

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JWR contributor Lori Borgman is the author of , most recently, "Pass the Faith, Please" (Click HERE to purchase. Sales help fund JWR.) and I Was a Better Mother Before I Had Kids To comment, please click here. To visit her website click here.


© 2006, Lori Borgman