Jewish World Review June 28, 2005 / 21 Sivan, 5765
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
The Lundberg Survey said oil prices hit sixty dollars per
barrel Monday. Oil companies are drowning in money. It just
occurred to Tom Cruise that it would be just as easy to pretend to
be in love with a girl from Tulsa as one from Hollywood.
German Foreign Minister Peter Struck welcomed Iraqi troops
to Germany Sunday for training by the German Army. Iraqi troops
will be taught German Army tactics. This is Western Civilization's
way of saying to the insurgents, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
The American Nazi Party held a rally at Yorktown to salute
George Washington for his views in favor of racial separatism. The
father of our country would never have become a Nazi. He had way
too much dignity to star in a Broadway musical.
Jordan's government announced Sunday it would not allow
Saddam Hussein's new historical novel to be published in that
country. The government of Jordan is probably afraid it will be a
runaway best-seller. It's called Harry Potter and the Mass Grave.
Howard Dean will speak to Democrats in South Carolina on
Wednesday, prompting Republicans to hold a Howard Dean Scream
Contest on the front steps of the state capitol. Civil
libertarians are nervous. The last time there was this much
hollering underneath the Confederate flag, the president suspended
Tony Blair's son Euan Blair is coming to Washington to
intern for California Congressman David Dreier. That's wonderful.
It restores your faith to think that after the Michael Jackson
trial, people will still entrust their sons to Californians.
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton