Jewish World Review June 3, 2005 / 25 Iyar, 5765
And now for the important news ....
By Argus Hamilton
Mark Felt's family said they exposed their grandfather as
Deep Throat for the money. They tried and failed to get cash from
authors, magazines and publishers. They wanted to go to Neverland
next but the boys in the family are a little too old.
Ted Turner spoke to CNN employees on the network's 25th
anniversary Wednesday. He said he would like to see more time
spent on news and less time on the pervert-of-the-day. How can he
make that statement the very day they booked Bill Clinton on the
Larry King Show.
Bill Clinton was interviewed by Larry King Wednesday an hour
after he returned from Asia. He slept all night on the plane. When
told that Deep Throat had just come out of hiding he turned white
as a ghost and apologized to Hillary over the air.
Florida Governor Jeb Bush signed a hurricane insurance bill
Wednesday. Thanks to the new law every policy will be written so
that everybody in the state is able to understand it. It requires
insurers to explain their coverage in plain Spanish.
Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada is interviewed
in Rolling Stone magazine today. The senator wanted to speak
exclusively to his own party. Rolling Stone is to the Democratic
Party what Oil and Gas Journal is to Republicans.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Wednesday set tough new greenhouse
emission standards for California, saying he wants to see the
crystal clear air and pure water he remembers in Austria. How
frightening is that? The European constitution loses twice in one
week and already the Germans are moving to enforce purity in all things.
The Netherlands rejected the European Union constitution
Wednesday days after French voters turned it down. Pollsters say
Europeans fear the consequences of Muslim immigration. They have
seen what goes on in U.S. airports and it's not for them.
Ford Motor Company promised on Wednesday to help wild
Mustangs who have been rounded up on federal range lands find a
new home out West. This is the least they can do for a treasured
brand name. If Chevrolet would like to help wild Cavaliers they
can send a check to the Inter-Fraternity Council at the University
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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in
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© 2005, Argus Hamilton