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Jonathan Tobin: Defending the Right to a Jewish State

Heather Hale: Compliment your kids without giving them big heads

Megan Shauri: 10 ways you are ruining your own happiness

Carolyn Bigda: 8 Best Dividend Stocks for 2015

Kiplinger's Personal Finance editors: 7 Things You Didn't Know About Paying Off Student Loans

Samantha Olson: The Crucial Mistake 55% Of Parents Are Making At Their Baby's Bedtime

Densie Well, Ph.D., R.D. Open your eyes to yellow vegetables

The Kosher Gourmet by Megan Gordon With its colorful cache of purples and oranges and reds, COLLARD GREEN SLAW is a marvelous mood booster --- not to mention just downright delish
April 18, 2014

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: Clarifying one of the greatest philosophical conundrums in theology

Caroline B. Glick: The disappearance of US will

Megan Wallgren: 10 things I've learned from my teenagers

Lizette Borreli: Green Tea Boosts Brain Power, May Help Treat Dementia

John Ericson: Trying hard to be 'positive' but never succeeding? Blame Your Brain

The Kosher Gourmet by Julie Rothman Almondy, flourless torta del re (Italian king's cake), has royal roots, is simple to make, . . . but devour it because it's simply delicious

April 14, 2014

Rabbi Dr Naftali Brawer: Passover frees us from the tyranny of time

Greg Crosby: Passing Over Religion

Eric Schulzke: First degree: How America really recovered from a murder epidemic

Georgia Lee: When love is not enough: Teaching your kids about the realities of adult relationships

Cameron Huddleston: Freebies for Your Lawn and Garden

Gordon Pape: How you can tell if your financial adviser is setting you up for potential ruin

Dana Dovey: Up to 500,000 people die each year from hepatitis C-related liver disease. New Treatment Has Over 90% Success Rate

Justin Caba: Eating Watermelon Can Help Control High Blood Pressure

The Kosher Gourmet by Joshua E. London and Lou Marmon Don't dare pass over these Pesach picks for Manischewitz!

April 11, 2014

Rabbi Hillel Goldberg: Silence is much more than golden

Caroline B. Glick: Forgetting freedom at Passover

Susan Swann: How to value a child for who he is, not just what he does

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Financial Tasks You Should Tackle Right Now

Sandra Block and Lisa Gerstner: How to Profit From Your Passion

Susan Scutti: A Simple Blood Test Might Soon Diagnose Cancer

Chris Weller: Have A Slow Metabolism? Let Science Speed It Up For You

The Kosher Gourmet by Diane Rossen Worthington Whitefish Terrine: A French take on gefilte fish

April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review June 11, 2004 / 22 Sivan, 5764

Realistic Memories Of A Larger Than Life Man

By Russell Friedman and John W. James

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http://www.jewishworldreview.com | Grieving people tend to create larger than life memory pictures. They either enshrine or bedevil the person who died. The problem with either extreme is that it makes it difficult to create an accurate reflection of the life the person lived. Without an accurate memory picture, it is difficult to achieve emotional completion and say good-bye to the person who died.


In the case of President Ronald Wilson Regan, we are indeed dealing with a figure who was larger than life. After all, you don't become a movie star, Governor, and U.S. President by being a shrinking violet. But that reality doesn't eliminate the need for an accurate memorial service for the people of this country and of the world, to help them deal with the emotions caused by President Reagan's death.


One of the most famous presidential memorials failed. On November 25, 1963, through the medium of television, the world watched a memorial event that did not create an accurate memory picture of the life that had been lived. The task of designing that frantic, poorly planned funeral fell to people who didn't understand the concept of accurate memory reflection. In their haste, they decided to use elements from the funerals of the other U.S. presidents who had died while still in office.


The memorial took place on Pennsylvania Avenue. For those of you old enough to remember, you will recall a riderless horse, with one boot backwards in the stirrup. You also might recall a civil war cannon being pulled down the avenue.


The riderless horse represented something that had been used in President George Washington's funeral. It represented an accurate memory of the man the people had known as a general and a president. They could relate to him on horseback, because that's how they had seen him. The civil war cannon was from President Lincoln's funeral, reflecting an accurate picture of that man and those times.


The problem with the use of those symbols for JFK's funeral is that they did not reflect the life of JFK as we knew him. It's unlikely that you had ever seen pictures of JFK on horseback. Therefore, that image could not put you in touch with your relationship to the man you had known and admired [or not]. The same holds true for the civil war cannon.

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None of the symbols for JFK's funeral reflected the life of JFK. There were other, more accurate symbols that could have been displayed that day. A replica of the famous PT-109 would have created instant recognition of the man we had known. PT-109 was the title of his bestselling book. A rocking chair and a football, displayed in the Rotunda, would have reminded everyone of JFK the way they knew him.


Instead, the images presented were associated with five presidents that the viewing public had never known other than in history books. In many ways it may contribute to the fact that as a nation we remain emotionally incomplete with the death of JFK. If we can learn anything from history, it would be to remember and bury the President and not the presidency.


As this week unfolds, we hope that the images presented put you in mind of President Reagan as you knew him. Whether you loved him or not; whether you agreed with some or all of his policies or not; we hope the media and those in charge of the funeral present accurate memory pictures to guide you into your own emotional memory bank.


There are so many pictures you might have. Some of you will associate him with cowboy imagery from his film roles and even from his ranch in Santa Barbara. Some will remember him in relation to Gorbachev and the Soviets or the fall of the Berlin Wall. Some will recall him talking to the nation after the Challenger Shuttle disaster. Many will remember the day he was shot. For some, his days as president of the Screen Actors Guild will be important. Most will be are aware of his devoted marriage to Nancy and her care of him in his battle with Alzheimer's.


Those are just some of the things that come to mind. Each of you must log into your memories and your opinions - the good, the bad, and if accurate for you, the ugly.


Remember President Reagan the way you knew him, so that you can say goodbye.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in Washington and in the media consider "must reading." Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


Russell Friedman & John W. James are co-founders of The Grief Recovery Institute in Sherman Oaks, CA [www.grief.net ], and co-authors of "The Grief Recovery Handbook & "When Children Grieve. John is a Viet Nam combat veteran. Comment by clicking here.


© 2004, Russell P. Friedman