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April 9, 2014

Jonathan Tobin: Why Did Kerry Lie About Israeli Blame?

Samuel G. Freedman: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Jessica Ivins: A resolution 70 years later for a father's unsettling legacy of ashes from Dachau

Kim Giles: Asking for help is not weakness

Kathy Kristof and Barbara Hoch Marcus: 7 Great Growth Israeli Stocks

Matthew Mientka: How Beans, Peas, And Chickpeas Cleanse Bad Cholesterol and Lowers Risk of Heart Disease

Sabrina Bachai: 5 At-Home Treatments For Headaches

The Kosher Gourmet by Daniel Neman Have yourself a matzo ball: The secrets bubby never told you and recipes she could have never imagined

April 8, 2014

Lori Nawyn: At Your Wit's End and Back: Finding Peace

Susan B. Garland and Rachel L. Sheedy: Strategies Married Couples Can Use to Boost Benefits

David Muhlbaum: Smart Tax Deductions Non-Itemizers Can Claim

Jill Weisenberger, M.S., R.D.N., C.D.E : Before You Lose Your Mental Edge

Dana Dovey: Coffee Drinkers Rejoice! Your Cup Of Joe Can Prevent Death From Liver Disease

Chris Weller: Electric 'Thinking Cap' Puts Your Brain Power Into High Gear

The Kosher Gourmet by Marlene Parrish A gift of hazelnuts keeps giving --- for a variety of nutty recipes: Entree, side, soup, dessert

April 4, 2014

Rabbi David Gutterman: The Word for Nothing Means Everything

Charles Krauthammer: Kerry's folly, Chapter 3

Amy Peterson: A life of love: How to build lasting relationships with your children

John Ericson: Older Women: Save Your Heart, Prevent Stroke Don't Drink Diet

John Ericson: Why 50 million Americans will still have spring allergies after taking meds

Cameron Huddleston: Best and Worst Buys of April 2014

Stacy Rapacon: Great Mutual Funds for Young Investors

Sarah Boesveld: Teacher keeps promise to mail thousands of former students letters written by their past selves

The Kosher Gourmet by Sharon Thompson Anyone can make a salad, you say. But can they make a great salad? (SECRETS, TESTED TECHNIQUES + 4 RECIPES, INCLUDING DRESSINGS)

April 2, 2014

Paul Greenberg: Death and joy in the spring

Dan Barry: Should South Carolina Jews be forced to maintain this chimney built by Germans serving the Nazis?

Mayra Bitsko: Save me! An alien took over my child's personality

Frank Clayton: Get happy: 20 scientifically proven happiness activities

Susan Scutti: It's Genetic! Obesity and the 'Carb Breakdown' Gene

Lecia Bushak: Why Hand Sanitizer May Actually Harm Your Health

Stacy Rapacon: Great Funds You Can Own for $500 or Less

Cameron Huddleston: 7 Ways to Save on Home Decor

The Kosher Gourmet by Steve Petusevsky Exploring ingredients as edible-stuffed containers (TWO RECIPES + TIPS & TECHINQUES)

Jewish World Review May 15, 2013/ 6 Sivan 5773

Divorce can't be just the pursuit of happiness

By Christine M. Flowers

Christine M. Flowers


http://www.JewishWorldReview.com | (MCT) Fortunately, she had the presence of mind to call a friend, who called another friend, who called me (that is how most immigration lawyers are found, which I am sure will make my friends in the classified department grit their teeth but it's the truth.) After I explained to her that there was a way to obtain legal protection through what we in the business call a Battered Spouse Petition, she had the courage to leave her despicable spouse.

When I told the acquaintance about these events, she nodded solemnly and said "Thank G0D for no-fault divorce." Not quite understanding her point (since we were talking about saving a woman's life, not dividing up communal assets) I said, "Divorce has nothing to do with this. The woman was being abused."

And this is where the non-immigration part of my pseudo-immigration column starts. My acquaintance started to go on about how, yes, it's important for abused women to be able to get divorced and "isn't it fantastic!" that it's a lot easier than it used to be. But, she continued, a person doesn't have to be in fear of her life to walk out of a bad situation.

I asked her what she meant by "bad." She said that any relationship that doesn't make us happy is a relationship that deserves to end.

This is where it got interesting. Never having been married myself, I can't presume to be an expert on the topic of connubial bliss. I can, however, comment upon what happens when some people decide that being happy is more important than honoring your commitments, than trying to work it out, than having more compassion for your kids than concern for your comfort.

I've met a number of people over the years who think that they are "entitled" to be happy. It is quite true that the Declaration of Independence guarantees the right to pursue happiness, but there is that implicit understanding that it can't be had at the expense of someone else. Unfortunately, the enlightened masses of the 21st century believe that it's much better to walk out of a situation that no longer fits than to make an effort to salvage it, all because we are convinced that those who live in our orbit will be happy if we, ourselves, are happy.

I can't tell you how many times I've had to bite my tongue when some recently-separated man or woman tells me they aren't worried about the effect a divorce will have on the children. To them, the little ones will be so much better off if Mummy and Pops are smiling. These people are not stupid. They're not even brainwashed by the pseudo-psychologists who sit on Oprah and Rachel and Katie's couches and tell us that "for better and for worse" is masochistic.

These people really believe that their own welfare is at the center of the universe, and that getting a divorce is no different than getting a mole removed. If you don't like the way something looks or feels, you simply cut it out. And if you have kids, well, they'll get used to it because they love you.

That didn't wash with the great Nora Ephron, a brilliant social observer. Here's what she had to say about the effects of divorce on children:

"(People) say things like, It's better for children not to grow up with their parents in an unhappy marriage. But unless parents are beating each other up, or abusing the children, kids are better off if their parents are together."

That's quite a radical thought these days. Pretty sad, huh?

Christine M. Flowers is a lawyer and columnist for the Philadelphia Daily News. Comments by clicking here.

Every weekday JewishWorldReview.com publishes what many in the media and Washington consider "must-reading". Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Previously:



05/07/13: We knew Jackie Robinson, and Jason Collins is no Jackie Robinson
05/01/13: Blame pro-choice lobby for Philly monster
04/23/13: Of damnation, and staring back
04/15/13: Margaret Thatcher changed the world, and didnít have to be a feminist to do it
04/08/13: Taking great pleasure in the death penalty
04/01/13: An easy prediction --- bet on the unpredictable
03/26/13: 'The personal is political' is no reason to change
03/19/13: A word to the whines --- it was just some high jinks
03/11/13: The Great Race Debate, revisited
03/04/13: Marriage goes beyond love
02/19/13: 2 women, and what they're fighting for
02/04/13: Sadly, Scouting seems poised to give up the fight
01/15/13: Reflections from Gettysburg
01/02/13: The mentally ill vs. those who love them
12/27/12: Rapper learns he's just another guy on probation
12/20/12: Cold, hard truth about the killer
12/10/12: When a warm heart meets a cold manipulator
11/22/12: Some women don't know how good they have it


© 2013, Philadelphia Daily News. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.

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