Jewish World Review
May 24, 2012/ 3 Sivan, 5772
Affable dolt, highly excitable and eager to please, Biden does Obama's Bidding
"Look, John's (Boehner) last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the No. 1 job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs, J-O-B-S, jobs." – Vice President Joe Biden, Ohio, Oct. 15, 2008
Jumpin' Joe Biden, Obama's hapless VP, has been making the news lately. Obama's "number two" is just that.
When Obama ran on "change" in 2008, he picked Joe Biden as his VP candidate. Nothing says you are for "change" in Washington like picking a running mate who has been in the U.S. Senate for 36 years.
Joe Biden differs from the members of the political-academia class with no practical experience who form the core of the intellectually cloistered Obama regime and are bent on "transforming" America.
Although he lied about his undergraduate degrees, cheated in law school and then lied again – saying he graduated at the top of his class when he finished 76th out of 85 – Biden somehow still expects to be taken seriously. A Botox-ed politician with hair plugs and capped teeth that look like Chiclets gum just screams "credibility."
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After years of gaffes and blunders, Joe Biden recently "outed" the president on gay marriage. Biden went off message, exposing our Dear Leader as being in favor of same-sex marriage before Obama's focus groups said he should.
In explaining how he came to his decision, Biden cited the influence of the sitcom "Will and Grace." Presumably, "The Beverly Hillbillies" has informed his understanding of Southerners, and he attributes his keen understanding of prehistoric man to "The Flintstones."
Biden is an affable dolt, highly excitable and eager to please. He sees the president working the class-envy card and awkwardly rushes out to give a speech on the matter. Biden is a cartoon of himself, ideologically identical to Obama.
Because he is white and male, he can be made fun of – so he is.
He dutifully salutes whatever flag the left runs up the pole, gets wound up, and goes out and gives a bumbling speech on the talking point du jour. He has no need to think the subject through or to know the facts. Obama's policies, which seek to stoke division among various classes of Americans, are about emotions. Facts just muddle the message of envy, so Biden does his boss's bidding well.
Biden will beat up whoever Obama tells him to. Every great Chicago gangster had an Irish lawyer doing his bidding.
He called Tea Party members "terrorists." Right. The biggest threat to America is voters peaceably assembling to ask government for less of it.
Biden is in favor of the TSA, since it is a government union that fears capitalists more than terrorists. And he loves taxes. If he had his way, anything remaining in your wallet other than a union card and/or your EBT food stamp card would be fair game for confiscation by the TSA – for the "greater good."
He often gives incoherent speeches that go on way too long, keeping his audiences on the edge – of their consciousness. He is human Ambien.
As a senator, Biden was given 30 minutes to question Judge Samuel Alito in his confirmation hearing. I am not making this up: Jumpin' Joe's question lasted about 24 minutes. (Alito should have asked him to repeat the question.) I am not saying Biden has a tendency to drone, but Afghan tribes instinctively scatter, serpentine and run for cover when they hear his voice.
"Amtrak Joe" commuted 250 miles on the train to and from his home state. He and Amtrak are very similar; both cost taxpayers a lot of money, are unnecessary, and are assured to go off the tracks often.
Yet he and Obama once took separate Air Force jets to New York for Earth Day, an irony which defines them. It was a touching Earth Day ceremony, though; each kindergartener in the school they visited got to plant a hair plug in Biden's scalp and water it with Rogaine.
Let me spare you the suspense. Obama's campaign strategy will be to distract voters' attention from his record, the economy and his ideology. Instead he will focus on vilifying his opponent with trivial sideshows like gay marriage, contraception, the purported "war on women," etc. This campaign will have an overabundance of nonsense, and who is better to spin it all than Joe Biden?
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JWR contributor Ron Hart grew up in Tennessee and began writing a column for his hometown paper in 2002. He attended The University of Memphis and the Institute for Political and Economic Systems at Georgetown University. Ron graduated Magna Cum Laude and was elected student government president. Upon getting his MBA, he went to work for Goldman Sachs. He was appointed to the Tennessee Board of Regents by then Governor Lamar Alexander and is now a private investor. He appears on CNN and has been quoted in numerous publications including the Wall Street Journal.
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